Why do girls want to get married so badly?

Question

My girlfriend and I have been together for about a year now and she's ALREADY talking about getting married.

I'm only 20 and in college...I'm just not looking that far ahead in life right now

Seriously, what is with girls and marriage? Why would anyone want to voluntarily sentence themselves to a lifetime of hell is beyond me.

Answer 1

Marriage is what you make of it. If you're expecting it to be hell for you, well, then...

Many women have a strong need for security, commitment and to feel loved. Sometimes, they believe that marriage will automatically bring these things, so they anxiously rush into marriage before one or both parties are ready for that kind of long term commitment.

Answer 2

The best way to approach this -- is to escape and escape fast at the first mention of "marriage". Especially if you feel this way about marriage. Only prolonging a relationship after a girl has BEGUN to think about this with you, is pure torture - on both your parts. Maybe someday when you are ready to get married, you've grown up and changed your mind about what marriage really means maybe you can COME BACK to what you had with an ex? Or perhaps find the right girl who makes you think differently.

As for the WHY - why as why? All women dream of meeting the "right" guy, getting married and having a family. A woman wouldn't feel like or be a woman otherwise. It defines a sense of purpose in the dating scene for them. Everything they work hard for and otherwise. While many women get married LATER in life (those have often a sense of independence about them). The older you get the more you will see that. Younger women don't always understand that sense of independence yet. They think men will bring them that and often it doesn't work that way.

Just do what you want for now and be happy in your decision. Obviously you are not ready to committ but don't hurt your current girlfriend and string her along for the ride. That will only hurt her and possibly make her hate you in the end. Good Luck.

Answer 3

The fact that you view marriage as a "lifetime of hell" is probably going to be problematic for you throughout your life. Maybe you've only seen marriages fail but there are marriages that actually work and are quite fun. I come from a family of divorce after divorce, which is probably why I am 30 and in no hurry to get married but I still see it as a great moment if taken seriously enough...not ALL girls want to get married...but your girl does. If marriage is something that is just not in the cards for you I think she would actually appreciate your honesty and view of the "hell" that she calls marriage. I don't think she would appreciate wasting her time on someone that views it that way. You should let her know what you think and let her go so that she can find someone that shares her optimistic views on marriage. That way you're also free to be single and to find a girl that doesn't want marriage. Be fair to yourself and your gf. Dishonesty and inability to communicate are probably two of the biggest reasons that marriages can become living hells and you're guilty of both at this point...

Answer 4

You are so young....and obviously aren't mature enough for marriage yourself...and doubtful that you ever will be..." Why would anyone want to voluntarily sentence themselves to a lifetime of hell is beyond me"...That tells me that you have a negative view of marriage in the first place....and should NEVER get married...

Answer 5

1) Weddings. Girls are taught since early childhood that the most important day of their lives is their wedding day. It is the one day that is all about them, and they get this fancy dress and all this other crap. It is something that keeps getting more and more built up their whole lives.

2) Commitment. Some people have unrealistic ideas about marriage. They think that being married means you REALLY love each other and are REALLY committed. Maybe that was the case many decades ago, but not any more. Marriage now is just an added expense; it is an excuse to keep more lawyers employed (high divorce rates). The truth is you can commit to each other whatever your heart desires without getting married. If you love someone and you mean it, a legal document isn't really going to change anything.

3) Money. Some women are evil and marry for money. I'm not talking about marrying someone with money, so they can be well kept for the rest of their lives with this person. That wouldn't be so bad. What I'm referring to are the women who marry into money with the thought in mind of taking half of his money and property IF it doesn't work out. So they entice him with great sex, trick him into falling in love, have children with him, then leave taking half of his stuff. So then they have all the benefits of the relationship (kids included) without having to be committed to him. They can go back to being whores or perhaps settle down with an average guy but not have to depend on him to support her kids. They receive child support payments from the wealthy ex.

Answer 6

You are way to young to get married and that is why you think it is a life time of hell. I think the both of you should go out have fun. Date other people. Have fun with your friends. Getting married at your age most likely will end in divorce. Oh by the way hopefully you are using some kind of protection because women will do anything to trap a guy.

Answer 7

Why are you even with her if you cant see yourself a future with her? That's all the whole point of dating and will eventually lead to marriage.

Its better to lose her now if you cant give her the expectations. Since you are 20 and still soaking up your wild 'oats', you are excused. But since this is how you feel about marriage as hell. Well, be honest with your gf and tell her not to get her hopes up with you.

Answer 8

If you honestly believe that marriage is the equivalent of "a lifetime of hell" should NOT date and should DEFINITELY NOT get married.

Have you told your girlfriend, who obviously wants to get married, that you have NO desire to do so? Anything else is unfair to her. She needs to know EXACTLY where you stand and that there is never going to be any chance of marriage with you.

Answer 9

I believe most girls just want a wedding and forget that a marriage comes with.

Answer 10

I think perhaps you should never get married. Since that is obviously her intent you ought to tell her what you just told us and then let her go. Anything less would be unkind.