My husband and I go to clubs regularly and it started off as a joke, but has turned into something regular. i grind other guys and end up making out with them, while he is watching. he does not seem to have a problem and we end up having great sex afterwards. This weekend, I ended up doing a lot more where me and a guy went in a corner and did a lot more than i usually do, except for penetration. I expected my husband to get mad, but he said as long as there is no penetration, he does not mind. We ended up having the best sex of our lives after that. We have been to swinger clubs, but did not really like it. But this is something that excites us both. Is this wrong?
2007-11-20 03:10:26 · 52 answers · asked by Rads 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
As long as it works for you as a couple, how can it be wrong?
Just be sure you have well laid-out rules of engagement and that each of you sticks to them. Sit down together and write these rules out so you both are clear on them and there is not "I thought when you said ______ you meant ______." These rules are like what you already have, but expand on them and write them down. cover such things as:
1. Is making-out okay? (already is from what you write)
2. Is oral okay?
3. Is intercourse okay?
4. Is it okay for the other guy to touch you under your clothes?
5. Etc.
Having written, well thought-out, discussed and understood rules will help prevent any accidents happening that may hurt someone's feelings.
And as far as those telling you that you are wrong... don't listen to them. They are telling you how to live your life based on how they live their life, without considering that not everybody in the world is just like them, and what works for them may not, will not work for someone else. Just because their relationship with their spouse is "right" for them doesn't make it "right" for everyone, because no one else in this world are just like them.
For some really good, honest information about this, check-out The Swingers Board. Sure you say you've been to swingers clubs and didn't like them, but what you are doing is technically "soft swinging" and I think you'll find lots of information from others just like you in the forums.
2007-11-20 08:32:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As All I can say is to check back with us in a few months and I will tell you I told you so. You will be divorced due to your marriage breaking up over infidelity. Your head will be so screwed up. Are you both also on drugs. There is no justification for any of these actions. You are suppose to be married to each other. If you want to grind other men then why not be a single/unmarried hoe, and start getting paid for B.J.'s in the corners of bars. LOL! Shoot a porn movie while your at it. If I walked into a bar and found you grinding my man, you would be unrecognizable. You guys will not stay married. Now stick that in your pipe and smoke it too.
2007-11-20 03:35:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you both have voyeur fantasies that may turn into full blown sharing. If you both are okay with it then it is fine. I have those same fantasies, but an unwilling partner. Actually mine go a lot further, but that is neither here nor there. Just so long as you both are communicating and staying within boundaries that you have set for each other then enjoy.
2007-11-20 06:54:56 · answer #3 · answered by No one 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it works for you and your husband then I guess it's okay. Different strokes for different folks ! How would you feel IF your Husband did the "making out" with some chic in front of you? Would it turn you on?? Or tick you off? The Danger about THAT sort of "lifestyle" is you just never know when "things" may change. Personally, I could Never do that!
2007-11-20 03:19:19 · answer #4 · answered by casper 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you both enjoy it and are comfortable with it, I would say it is very right. The one thing to be concerned about would be leading another guy on. He may think he's getting some action because you're all over him, but you're just kinda using him to get worked up. If he's a complete stranger and possibly drunk, he could get into a fight with your husband as he steals you away. If you can make sure to not get these other guys upset from mixed signals, then I guess you're good to go.
2007-11-20 03:26:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you're both fine with it, then who am I to judge? The only issue I have with it is that you don't seem to be discussing it OUTSIDE the context of the bedroom. If you are going to open the boundaries of your marriage you need to TALK about it, when you are both fully dressed and sitting at the dining room table or watching TV. You need to know what he's thinking and he needs to know BEFORE it happens how far you are going to push things.
If you can't discuss your sex life outside the bedroom, you may end up pushing TOO far one day and finding your marriage in a mess without any way to fix it.
2007-11-20 03:15:37 · answer #6 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you and him are Equally sureit Does Not bother the two of you.. Then its not wrong. Some peopl will say yes it is, but they arent the ones who are excited by it.. My husband and I..It wouldnt wor too well. But if this is something that excites the two of you. Then nothing wong with that...Just make sure he is watching so nothing too bad happens. And would you be mad or excited if he wanted to do tht with aner girl at the club? It has to work both ways...Just in case he ever wants to.
2007-11-20 03:15:25 · answer #7 · answered by Special K 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
AS long as your marriage is strong and everyone is still OK with it, do what you do.
BUT, keep in mind he other guy is not in on it, and doesn't know it's not going any further. So I hope your hubby is prepared to deal with a horny drunk man.
Just be prepared the game your playing could go south quick, especially if your toy has friends with him.
I know these things because I was a bouncer in bars for years when I was young and no your not the first couple to play, just don't get hurt, dirty dancing is one thing, going any further may lead to unexpected problems
Hope this helps
2007-11-20 03:22:26 · answer #8 · answered by walker9842 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like you are both mature adults and as such providing that both agree and are mature enough to handle it then I see no problem with it at all. My wife and I were at a wedding a couple of months ago and some younger fellow begin grinding her. I was just about to get up and tell him to back off, but didn't need to as she put him in his place very rapidly and he did back off immediately. Different strokes for different folks.
2007-11-20 03:15:40 · answer #9 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If that is approximately outsmarting her, merely tell him which you in no way wanted to reason problems so which you probably did not deliver it up in the previous, yet this lady he merely extra as quickly as stated some very untrue and hurtful issues approximately you so which you like her off his facebook because of the fact she's purely doing it to get under your epidermis. enable him comprehend which you tried to be the bigger individual yet now she's merely being recommend and you like his help as a husband. he will would desire to have faith you because of the fact you're his spouse. end of tale. you additionally can take the truthful course, and tell him you purely do in comparison to her and you prefer he'd delete her. If he's as staggering as you're saying then he would desire to take your emotions under consideration over hers.
2016-10-02 02:49:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋