Breaking rules for Christmas gift exchange?

Question

Many years ago, I was working as a waitress (22), at a restaurant. We had a Christmas gift exchange, but no party. We were to draw names and gave the recipient the gifts. Another waiter (19), told me that he drew my name. He never gave me a gift. I went ahead and gave a gift for the waitress that I picked. When I asked him about it, he shook his head said he wasn't going to give me a gift. I was surprised since I never had a problem with him before. He just thought I was little miss nothing. He got a gift from a waitress that picked his name. Finally, I told him he should have asked to draw another name or not particpate at all. He said nothing. I told the manager, but he said there was nothing he could do. At the time, I thought that guys were like that and gift exchanges should be female only. I felt so bad and I never spoke about it until now. I know it was a long time ago, but how can people prevent something like that from happening in the future?

Answer 1

He sounds like a jerk. He wasn't obligated to participate so he should have said he didn't want to. It's not right to receive a gift but not give one during a gift "exchange."

In the future, ask everyone before they participate if they even want to do it. Tell everyone they shouldn't sign up to do something if they can't follow through. Once names are drawn- there's no backing out.

Answer 2

that's sad - if he wasn't going to buy a gift he shouldn't have participated and receive a gift. I don't think your manager handled it very well either. Not all guys are like that, so don't exclude them based on one guy being a jerk. Yeah, if people aren't going to give a gift they really shouldn't put their names in and they shouldn't draw a name out. Maybe whoever organizes this should post some notices and also mention it to people in person when it's time to put names in. I was so broke one year I had to keep myself out of the gift exchange because I didn't think it was fair to get a gift if I wasn't going to give one. I still had fun at the party tho - but it was my choice I wasn't snubbed like that guy did to you. I wouldn't take it personally - the guy just sounds like a jerk and probably would have done that no matter who's name he drew.

Answer 3

I imagine that since most holiday gift exchanges are voluntary and not enforced by the management as 'policy' ("you must participate or else" I mean), that there really is nothing you can do. It happens to people every year, just like it did you. They draw names, buy their person a gift, only to never receive one in turn. That's actually one of the reasons I stopped participating in them myself. Invariably, I'm the person who gets snubbed, too.

I am, however, quite amazed that he told you he'd drawn your name. Most of these exchanges are secret, so you aren't supposed to know. I'm sure it made you feel that much worse knowing who was supposed to give you a gift. :-(

Answer 4

We do a non specific secret santa- those who want to participate bring in a gender neutal gift and put it in a box, wrapped and ready to go. People reach into the box and select a gift. There can't be any bias since you don't know who will choose your package, and you don't know who's package you choose (unless you peek when people put the packages in the box). It can be tricky to come up with gift ideas since you don't know if a guy or girl will select your package but it's kind of fun to make it a shopping challenge. That waiter sounds like a real donkey's butt!

Answer 5

It's up to the manager or whoever is running the gift exchange to make sure everyone WANTS to participate. Some guys just don't want to be a part of a gift exchange, either because they think it's silly or they don't know what to buy. Whoever sets it up should make sure that only people who WANT to participate are part of it.

Answer 6

Whoever was in charge of the exchange at your old workplace blew it, plain and simple. Before putting the names in a hat and drawing them out, they should have made sure that everyone was interested. Which includes are they OK with giving and receiving a gift, will the recommended dollar amount work for them, etc.

As long as whoever's in charge makes sure that everyone is interested in participating, you shouldn't have the same thing happen again.

Answer 7

i don't know how to prevent it, but i had a similar thing happen to me. i was going to give a gift card/certificate to a store for the girl whose name i drew, and my manager said that was "cheating". so i went to the store and had a friend of mine help pick out a "set" of accessories that fit her style and color (i had asked her friends for some input)... and when the day came to exchange gifts... i got nothing. i didn't say anything, but i was more hurt than angry. my boss recognized this and actually cut me a check... in the end, i probably ended up better off, because the girl who had drawn my name, would not have put much thought into it.

Answer 8

a sort of single cup espresso makers. i think of that I have been given one a pair of years in the past for like $10 - $15 & each physique wanted it at my workplace social gathering. yet another concept is a action picture night basket. Get an low fee popcorn bowl, a p.c.. or 2 of microwave popcorn, a $5 - $10 Blockbuster present card & a some action picture teach type candy (perhaps a million-2 containers). Wrap it up in some sparkling paper with a bow. in spite of you elect, do not do fondue! Oh my gosh, that's what i finished up with (a fondue set) on the workplace "thieve a recent replace". i replaced into so upset & my youngsters did not even want it!

Answer 9

Since he did this, his gift that he received should have been given to you instead since he did not want to participate. That was pretty childish of him. The manager should have taken his gift since he did not participate as he was required to do or he should have had to have given you money out of his paycheck.