My bf took a dna test for a baby that might be his yesterday. This baby was concieved before we got together. We have a baby of our own also. The girl slept with my bf and another guy in one cycle. But accordingto the dates that the doctors gave her she said that it is my bf baby. I had a dream the other night that he got the results and the baby wasnt his and we were both happy. Why would I have these dreams and is it selfish for me to get mad if the baby is his.
2007-11-20 02:37:26 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
They both said that they used a condom but the condom broke and he ejaculated on her bcak the other guy she slept with ejacukated in her.
2007-11-20 02:45:15 · update #1
We look after our own, that is human nature. Your "territory" is being threatened by an outsider. There is nothing to feel guilty about in that arena. Getting mad? Well, Why? Life is what it is and it happens of it's own accord. Getting angry will only be destructive to your relationship. Stand by a DNA test and nothing else. I would get it done by two sepparate agencies as accidents happen and not all agencies are on the same level. The rest you likely dont need advice about. If it's his, stand by him while he lives up to his responsibility but don't let it ruin your life ... it will likely be difficult. However, if you are happy and this is not a threat to the two of you and your happiness ... take it in stride ...
2007-11-20 02:44:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're having dreams about it because it's weighing on your mind.
I think it's totally understandable that you wouldn't exactly love the situation, but try not to get too mad about it. It DID happen before you came along. Plus, your boyfriend will probably be pretty freaked himself so try to just be there for him. If it is his, think of it as though he already had a child before you met him, because essentially that's what happened. It doesn't mean he'll care for you and your baby any less.
That being said, you can't help how you feel. It's not selfish of you, you're human. I wouldn't like it either. As long as you can eventually get over it and not hold it against him I think everything will be okay.
2007-11-20 03:03:41 · answer #2 · answered by ciela109 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The dream is just wishful thinking.
I think it is okay for you to be *upset* that the baby is his. You are thinking it will mess up the wonderful life you have with him.
But I dont think you should be *mad*. What if, just after yall had gotten together you found out you were preggo w/ someone elses baby? Would you want him to be mad at you? Probably not. You wouldnt be able to change what happened in the past.
And, besides...would you have a problem if you would have known he had a child before yall got together?? I doubt it. This is practically the same thing. It happened before yall got together. Think about that....
Just support him no matter what. If this is his child, it is going to be a part of your life so you dont want to start out having a problem with it.
Its going to be complicated but just hang in there and stand by your boyfriend. That is what you are supposed to do for the people you love.
Good luck with everything!
2007-11-20 02:44:59 · answer #3 · answered by Jordie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is selfish to get mad, but it is human nature. It doesn't make you a bad person. You are probably reacting to the possibility that if the baby is his, you will have to share him with another woman, and your baby will have to share their daddy with another child.
With that said I want to add, that if it were me, i would be madder if he were to find out that the baby is his, but doesn't want to take the responsibility for it. That alone should tell you a lot about the type of man he is, althought that doesn't seem to be in question. just remember, no matter what happens, this baby is the innocent bystander and had no choice in the matter.
Good luck, I hope everything works out.
2007-11-20 02:47:05 · answer #4 · answered by my4ccoa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you are hoping the baby is not his, thats probably why you are dreaming about it. Yes, it is selfish for you to get mad, part of being in a loving relationship is accepting one another for who you are. What happened in the past is not something to get upset with him about. Its time to focus on why you would be mad... is it because you are afraid of losing some attention? is it the fact that him having sex with another girl will be a reality? is it that you can't control the outcome? Think about it. Its not as though he was able to foresee that he would be with you in the future, and if he had sex with this girl, it could mess things up. He didn't cheat on you, he didn't lie to you, he had a life before meeting you...
2007-11-20 02:50:49 · answer #5 · answered by Jen M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had a dream that the baby wasn't his because you hope it's not his. and I don't think you are selfish for hoping that.
If the baby is his, then it's not gonna be easy to deal with. But if you are sure you want to be with him, then I think you will be able to move past the jealousies, with a little time. Just think of the baby as part him...you love him so maybe you could eventually love that other baby, too.
Wish you the best.
2007-11-20 02:50:32 · answer #6 · answered by aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its only a dream and you probebly dreampt it cause you know in your heart that that outcome would make things easier for you and your BF. Its not selfish, its just a hope, but if the baby turns out to be his, i doubt you are gonna be one to shun the baby. Of course it is a tough situation and there is gonna be alot of headaches if the baby is his, but thats what courts are for, to deal with the headaches to make things as easy as possible for all parties. just remember, its not about you, or your boyfriend or the other girl, its about the baby, so do whats best for the baby if it turns out to be his.
2007-11-20 02:46:22 · answer #7 · answered by louie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no honey i think anyone in your situation would feel the same way! You have a child with this guy. it's forms a really close bond that only you want to share with him. just remember on the chance that he is the father it's not the babies fault! it would be hard, but if you love your boyfriend just think of it as a piece of him, and love it just as much. i know it's easier said than done. good luck honey I hope it works out!
2007-11-20 02:43:45 · answer #8 · answered by myliemae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you had those dreams because as cinderella said " a dream is a wish your heart makes" and not to be mean but since it happened before you even existed to him you dont really have the right to be mad at him. i dont blame you for being upset i know i would. just remember its not the end of the world. good luck i hope the baby isnt his!
2007-11-20 02:46:19 · answer #9 · answered by Michelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are dreaming for what you wish. But, getting angry will not do anyone any good. Seeing as you and your bf have a child, he will always be in your life to some degree. If this other child turns out to be his also, the same will hold true. Step up to the plate and be a great step-mom. It will be worth it.
2007-11-20 02:44:55 · answer #10 · answered by Lynda 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋