Why is it mostly women who say rape is about power?

Question

From reading a lot of questions and answers here about "rape", I've noticed that women always say its about power, while some men will say its about sex.

Now... why would a woman know better than a man? I think rape is not a black and white thing, and like everything else, there are many reasons a man would rape a woman.

You can't just say a certain action has the same motivation for "everyone" because everyone is different and has different motivations.

I think its about power in some cases and sex in other cases.

But back to the original question.. how would a woman know better than a man? Its like a man telling a woman what child birth feels like.

No.. I don't know the "feeling" I just don't think its black and white and wonder why its mostly 'women' who say this.

maybe its about being a sicko.. ever think of that?

What are you talking about "Mellie"? I never blamed anyone for anything.

Answer 1

First let me say I am a male who is qualified to answer this question. As a former police sergeant, I attended law enforcement classes of many types and rape and rape investigation was one.

In speaking of actual rape (and not the many alterations of the word to include just about any untoward behavior), in a way it is about power but it is not that simple.

Most rapists were raised in a situation that is far from optional such as a domineering/angry mother and a wimpy father (or quite often, no father). Somewhere in their background can almost always be found, startling conditions that seem to lead to future aberrant behavior such as the type of punishment handed out by a less-than-sane mother for imagined wrongs, not totally unlike a mother that murders her children because "God told them to". Only in these instances, the maltreatment took another direction.

It is neither exclusively about power or sex. It is about both and at the same time, neither. It is psychological problems up to and including legal and clinical insanity and deviant behavior caused primarily by environment, although there are also other factors that cannot be ignored, depending on the individual.

I think what you're seeing is that women, as a group, want to punish offenders and be done with it as if that will stop the problem instead of trying to find and fix the problems that lead to the behavior. They choose incorrectly, as many do, to assume that rapists are "normal" people who just take things too far. Rapists are not normal. They were trained, unintentionally and even unconsciously, to react the way they do.

Some rapists are quite powerful in society and others are asexual so proclaiming that "power" or "sex" are THE reasons for rape are by no means correct, end-all answers.

The answer is that a rapist is produced by the environment in which they are raised or one or more acts that deeply affect rational thought in regard to women and/or sex.

Answer 2

I think from seeing it from a women's eyes would make it easier to understand... Rape, is or has to be a control issue, although maybe not 100%. Men that do this kind of thing I guess don't realize the amount of control they have when the woman can't literally get up and out of that situation... This being said, is easy for a woman to see as a control issue... However, it's also a sicko issue, being the man can't just hold someone to do something that doesn't want to be done... I suppose many would see it as much more, but maybe you should check things out from the other side... Could you imagine what you would feel like if a woman raped you... It's the same feeling... The opposite sex doesn't have to be stronger, but confident in succeeding in his actions, and if one can't stop it, the the sence of impowerment and selflessness would make anyone feel like trash...

Answer 3

I don't think it's necessarily women who introduced that notion, it's psychologists or psychiatrists. People who know a lot about how the human brain works. And I'm willing to bet that, at the time, most of those guys were men.

If rape were about sex, why wouldn't those men just pay a prostitute, or go pick up a girl at a club? That's why it doesn't make sense to me that rape would be about sex.

Either way, it doesn't really matter. If a particular rape is about sex, does that make it any more ok than if it is about power? I don't think so. Either way, it's a terrible violation and abuse of another person's body. I don't care what the motive is.

Answer 4

As someone else said, "sex" is what two people who consent to the act do. "Rape" is what happens when one of those people doesn't want sex with the other.

And why is it that it's mostly men (on here) who say that "rape is about sex", while it's women and EVERYONE IN THE PSYCHOLOGY PROFESSION who say it's mostly about power? Did you ever think to ask THAT question? As others have said, it's the psychology community that introduced the idea...we just read.

And doesn't that fact that men who rape other men in prison, despite being heterosexual, PROVE that rape is about power? They aren't raping other men because they "couldn't resist them," now are they?

And I respectfully disagree, Bikerchick, about the rape drug example. In many cases, it would appear that the date rape drug would not have even been necessary...in many cases it's been administered AFTER the victim was already at the house, and an interest in sex had already been demonstrated. But the rapist gave the drug ANYWAY, perhaps to "ensure" success, but more likely to have a pliant, willing victim that he/she could have total control over...again, it goes back to power.

Answer 5

There are times when rape is about the sex only; not just power and control; besides, if a bunch of women are saying that doesn't mean that I, even though I'm a woman have to believe and or go along with them, especially if I feel that it's wrong.

Answer 6

Its not for power all the time. Think about certain scenarios. In a party, person A might be attracted to person B and person B is also drunk, so it may be easier to have sex with this person since he/she is drunk (rape out of lust). Another scenario; a woman rapes a drunk man not for power, but wants to have kids from him because she knows he has lots of money to support her and maybe for her kids (actually for this one it can be argued she is raping for power if you view power as in having resources and money).

Answer 7

First, most victims are women. Second, most victims will say that they felt powerless during the act. The antonym for "powerless" is "powerful." So, perhaps, they are making the corelation that if one person felt powerless, then the other must have felt powerful.

I sincerely doubt that the motivations of a rapist in jail are the same as the rapist of children and elderly women are the same as a rapist who is attracted to a pretty woman his own age at a party.

Conclusion: I don't think there is just one motivation. I do think rapists share a common denominator of having zero empathy for their victims.

Answer 8

let me ask you something...have u ever raped a woman? if not how can you really say what its about anymore than what a woman can say? women feel it is about power...men feel it is about sex...

i know as a rape victim that i felt completely powerless...so to me it is about power...

but have you ever asked a rapist why he raped? if so..what was his answer? did he say he was really horny? and if so why couldnt he just go have sex with someone that was willing? did the fact that someone who would not struggle turn him off...and if so..wouldnt it go back to power still? the power to force someone to submit to the rapists will?

perhaps it is about power in some cases..and sex in others...
or maybe it is both most of the time..

you would literally have to poll many rapists just to see the ratio between why they raped...power? sex? or both?

what would it be?

Answer 9

To answer directly - I don't think that anyone can know what the true motivation of rape is until they enter into the mindset of the rapist.

My understanding of the concept comes from following rape cases on tv or in the news, and it is reported that the act is one of rage and power and violence - not of 'sex'. And I would suggest that a violent attack by a stranger would fall under that category. Perhaps date rape cases are actually motivated by sex and a marked lack of control.

Answer 10

I do agree with you that it is about power in some cases, and sex in some. Even in the situations that it is just sexually driven, it is a power trip. Rape is sexual activity forced upon an individual against the individual's will. It is a sexual expression of aggression rather than an aggressive expression of sexuality. Rape PRIMARILY ,( not always), is rooted in nonsexual motivation in the psychology of the offender; it is tied to hostility and anger and the need to exert power and control. Passion and sexuality, USUALLY,are not the primary motivators.

The reason we know that it is primarily driven by power is because this particular type of crime is usually associated with anger and helplessness and a need to prove power. This anger and this thirst for power, comes from the fact that the rapist himself feels powerless, worthless and has exceptionally low self-esteem. In addition to feeling that he has no control of his life, the rapist views other men as competitors and adversaries, and women as untrustworthy, manipulative and exploitative.

I can say this because I have personally studied, spoken to, and dealt with both rapists and victims. When you deal with victims of assault you have to be trained to know both sides, ( the victims and rapists) ,to be able to treat both.

I cannot say I don't see where you are coming from, because most people who go into my line of work start out thinking the same way you do. I know I did. I saw this as just abuse from one person to another, that involved sex. Once you really get into theraphy for persons who have been abused, or abusers, you see it from another point of view.