Stay for the kids if the relationship is over or the love is gone?
2007-11-20 01:27:05 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Great question.... I honestly can say that I would stay for the kids. -and I believe my wife would too. We are insanely crazy about our two sons, and I don't think either of us would ever be able to leave our life as a family. -which brings me to the point of "family". It seems like when marraige comes up on this forum, it's always about the relationship, or sex, or our "feelings" towards or against our spouse.... the idea of "family" is hardly ever mentioned. But despite that, I have to belive that there are still people out there who value family, and would selflessly go through the depths of the hard times relationships bring just to keep the family together. Plus, i will never understand how "love" just dissapears... how does that happen? Even when my wife does something to p~ss me off, or irritate me I can't stop loving her, I picture her on the alter with me, I picture her in the delivery room having our children, I can't help but picture the things she's done for me, and my love for her is always renewed, constantly.
2007-11-20 02:12:07 · answer #1 · answered by blujello 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, would and did.
However, what I did or what anyone else did or does should not affect your decision to stay or go.
If your relationship with your spouse is truly over, then staying together 'for the kids' can only cause you pain and misery. If you do not love the person you are sharing your life with, then you will become more and more unhappy and this will affect the kids.
Talk to your spouse. Explain that the love is gone and discuss what the two of you should do. If you decide to stay together, try to rekindle the love. It may be that you need to find a new kind of love, a different way to express your love for eachother and a new appreciation for who each of you has become.
You need to concentrate on your happiness too. You can not be at your best for your kids if you are miserable.
I know from experience. I wish you Good Luck and Happiness.
2007-11-20 01:38:32 · answer #2 · answered by Tauri Athena 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I somewhat agree with Nice Lady. Very often we get caught up in the crap. Sometimes people get married so young and they are not ready to settle down. The two of you should try to get away for a weekend without the kids. Not for romance but to talk. Or at least try to get the grandparents to let the kids sleep over so that you two can talk without upsetting the kids. You need to realize that these children are important. Try also to remember why you married each other. Concentrate on talking about good things and not the negative.
Being divorced only brings several new problems. It is hard to find someone good out there. And it if even harder to find someone to be good to your kids.
Don't fight over little things. Both of you need to learn to be a team. Everything that happens should be for the best of the family. Mostly those kids.
However if there is abuse in the relationship by all means end it..now.
2007-11-20 03:03:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't stay married to my first husband for the sake of our children...Although our children were and are still teenagers when I divorced their father....I personally feel that staying in a relationship for the sake of the kids is wrong...Kids know when their parents aren't happy and are better off with two happy parents who no longer are together than to be living under the same roof with both who are completely miserable...
2007-11-20 01:33:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Kids can sense when you are not happy. You need to be a role model for your kids. If that means that you have to separate then you should. Show them how to be strong and independent. Try to have a civil relationship with the ex and the kids will see that. Life's to short to not be happy.
2007-11-20 01:38:12 · answer #5 · answered by geminimom79 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there was no love in a relationship and you're making each other miserable, then why would you stay? Kids are very perceptive creatures and they pick up on more than we think.
2007-11-20 01:37:20 · answer #6 · answered by Kathy R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do but that's just me! I have 4 kids! Two from a previous marriage an 2 from him but he is our provider an it's hard to go from something to nothing!! I stay cause of the life we have!! Our kids just make it harder!!
2007-11-20 01:37:04 · answer #7 · answered by ajjsdj4ever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. I left with my son and things are so much better for the both of us. It will only get worse if the love is gone because then you start to lose respect. Your best bet is to get out. Good luck.
2007-11-20 01:32:41 · answer #8 · answered by Nikki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would depend on the situation. But I would never leave just because the "love is gone". I've fell in and out of love with my husband so many times through out our marriage. That's why you vow to marry for better or worse. Did he cheat? Does he abuse you? If not - Work it out!
2007-11-20 01:37:59 · answer #9 · answered by gatsgrl 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
HELL NO!!!
it may sound selfish, but I would think about my happiness first. I'm sure my kids would see how hard I would have fought to keep my marriage going, but when they've seen me cry myself to sleep, or seen the disadvantage of a failing marriage, I wouldn't care I could just not degrade my self any longer.
I see it this way, if I'm not happy I'm sure my kids wouldn't be either.
2007-11-20 01:55:19 · answer #10 · answered by ♥Sonadora♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋