My husband works away from home during the week and sometimes on saturday our marriage is very strong we are still very passionate and we both are still very in love with one other but it hurts our family for him to be away I very seldom sleep and i'm always thinking of him and our 4 year old daughter is always acting out and I feel like its because she wants her daddy she wakes up in the middle of the night crying for him and always thinks that he is never coming back and we are constantly having to explain that daddy will always come back home to us but will this affect her permantly .......and then he makes very good money and i dont want him to lose his job because of our selfishness but then again money isn't everything and I rather have him home with me every night than to be weathly please some one help me I can't bare another night alone I miss the missing piece from our family! PLEASE Help me!!!
2007-11-20 01:26:00 · 17 answers · asked by cute_libra45 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he can't change jobs then I'd suggest getting involved in a hobby or trying to make some friends. Maybe try something you can involve your daughter in as well, like a mother's group. It sounds like you're depending on him to make you happy, but you need to depend on yourself.
2007-11-20 03:00:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same position. Exactly. The only difference is my daughter is 3. I don't have any problems like this though. My husband doesn't like to be away either but you need money to live. My daughter talks to her dad every night on the phone and say good night before she goes to bed. If it bothers you that much maybe he can find a job closer to home. I personally like the break away from him. He used to be gone for months at a time, that wasn't the greatest, but we survived. I would rather have a roof over my head.
2007-11-20 01:36:35 · answer #2 · answered by Stuck in the middle of nowhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all, be thankful he isn't deployed for months on end, he works and makes good money and you see him every week... If he has to be closer to his job, and you feel this strongly, move. Be closer so that he can commute instead of stay... If it is traveling, then I can't help you there other than to tell him he should look for another job just in case there is one just as good without the travel time.
All you can do is be there for your daughter and take care of her. I know it is hard, but maybe you guys could get a web cam and then that way she and you can see him every evening. I know it isn't the same as him home, but it is a step up. It seems to help to be able to see his face on something other than a photo.
Fill your time and your daughters too. If you're busy with things, it is AS bad.
2007-11-20 01:40:08 · answer #3 · answered by Beatngu 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You said it - money isn't everything. Help him find another job that will keep him home! It's not good for couples to be apart. It leaves the door open for other people to get in. Like you said - you're lonely. He may be too. Downsize the material things for the sake of your family. Otherwise, over time, both of you will become complacent and used to not seeing each other. Even preferring it. The same goes for your children. They'll be used to daddy not being there. It'll become normal to them.
2007-11-20 01:47:53 · answer #4 · answered by gatsgrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well your marriage and family is more important about good money. Maybe see if you can help him find another job closer to home and compare the money to see if you can manage with less money? Mabye he can find a good paying job closer to home too? Never hurts to look . I am sure his family is more important than money too,.....if you can afford less cash. Maybe, if you are not currently working you can get a part-time job when your daughter goes to school to make up the difference
2007-11-20 01:34:50 · answer #5 · answered by Cassandra C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband and see if there is another alternative. Maybe he can find a job making the same money but with a different company. Let him know how you and your daughter feel. Be honest with him. He will do whats best for his family. Maybe he can talk to his boss and do something else with that company.
2007-11-20 01:33:11 · answer #6 · answered by jmc24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure of the reasons that you guys don't move to where he is working. I wouldn't be away from my husband....when he goes on the occasional business trip it drives us both crazy....Money should not be the priority in your marriage and right now it is. Find a way to be together, because too much distance can really harm your marriage, the effects begin where you are right now.
2007-11-20 01:33:50 · answer #7 · answered by Ali C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people have to make sacrifices for their family, which is what your hubby is doing and so are you on the other end. But honestly be glad he's not over-seas. My hubby works infantry with the 101st airborne and he just deployed Oct. 16th, i won't see mine for another 13 1/2 months. Be happy you get to see him and cherish the time he's home. Hope everything works out for you!
2007-11-20 01:47:08 · answer #8 · answered by drunksurf 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel. I had this discussion with my wife once as well. We have always been very close and started working off hours and not seeing each other often, at some point you realize the money isnt worth it, and you'd rather have the spouse around.
2007-11-20 01:32:45 · answer #9 · answered by billgoats79 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing worse than an empty bed, I know. Sometimes the money just isn't worth the strain. Try talking to him, but don't make it a guilt trip. Good luck.
2007-11-20 01:44:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋