My boyfriend and I met online almost two years ago through a chat room. We've gotten very serious in the past year and are living together. I've recently caught him chatting in far away state rooms, pretending to be someone else (black, tall, sexy, with a big d*ck) while he's not black or tall. He's sending these women fake pics and asking for their naked pics in return. When I busted him he said it's because he wants the pics and he uses the far away rooms because there's no chance of him hookin up with a chick that's far away. After that it escalated to text messaging with one girl and the **** hit the fan. He said he'd stop, well guess what....he didn't. He's just doing other forms of it. Dirty myspace surveys sent PRIVATELY and he still occasionally chats. I love him and I know 100% he's not physically cheating on me, but I can't seem to accept the fact that he's even talking dirty to these other women. It makes me feel worthless, useless, unattractive, unneeded. NEone?
2007-11-20 01:11:08 · 18 answers · asked by psuns 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Is this important? Certainly!
He's taking affection that you deserve and giving it to someone else. He's got a serious problem that he needs to fix.
He needs to stop or you need to go. He obviously doesn't care enough about you right now to stop. That's all it is, he only cares about himself. He doesn't even care about those on the other end of his chats or he wouldn't lie to them about what he is.
If he stops this you need to make sure he won't do it again. Make him blow his cover to all of those he's with. Make sure they all know that he lied to them, which he has.
2007-11-20 01:16:55 · answer #1 · answered by Yun 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie,
First of all, cheating is not only a matter of physicallity, it is emotionally based.
If you feel that what he is doing is taking something away from your relationship with him, then he is in fact cheating on you.
I am sure you have told him many times that you don't like what he's doing. But, have you told him that it makes you feel worthless, useless, unattractive, unneeded?
Do you enjoy talking dirty to him or having him talk to you like that? If that is not part of your intimate relationship, maybe you could suggest that the two of you try it. It may be very awkward at first. If you have cell phones, have him call you - even if you are in the next room - the perceived anonymity makes it more exciting.
If he is not interested in spicing up his relationship with you, and continues to seek stimulation and satisfaction through the internet, then he has a problem. Suggest he seek professional help for what seems to be an addiction.
If all else fails, then it may be time to move on. As much as you love a guy, if he's looking elsewhere for sexual fulfilment, you'll never be happy with him.
Good Luck Sweetie.
By the way, YOU are beautiful, intelligent, talented and incredibly special. Remember that!
2007-11-20 01:28:55 · answer #2 · answered by Tauri Athena 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My dear, your mother would love knowing that you are communicating with a man online 13 years your senior. (NOT). I am a mom of almost 17 year old girl, and if she was communicating with a 30 year old, especially with a cyber love affair going on (even though you say it is harmless)- I would not be happy. That man, if he respected you at all would not even talk about things sexual with you. You did say that you did not want to him to do it at least a dozen times. HE is not listening is he? It is not funny. You actually showed him your pictures? What are you thinking? Please do not do this. You may think it innocent enough, but if he truly respected you he would not be writing sexual innuendos to you. It must bother you a little, or you would not even think that your mom would not approve. I don't want you to be hurt. One day, even if you say you would never meet him, that does not mean that you wouldn't - why do I say that. Because you told him 12 times you did not want him to talk sexual to you, however, he is and you are still letting him. Now for the question that I have been waiting to ask you. What do you think God thinks of your cyber love affair? Would He approve? That is what is even more important than what your mom would think, but yet you are worried about her.
2016-05-24 07:47:47 · answer #3 · answered by holly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm confused because you seem to be both asking how to accept what he's doing, and also stating that you cannot accept it. Either it's OK with you or it's not. Accepting it means shutting up about it, letting him do what he's enjoying, and no more sh|t hitting the proverbial fan. Not accepting it means packing your stuff, moving out, and ending this relationship permanently.
You're going to get people telling you there's a third option: making him quit. However, you have already proven that is not an option. You have clearly stated your objections and he kept doing it anyway. He said he's stop, but he kept doing it anyway. Therefore, it should be obvious that your only remaining choices are accepting or not accepting -- see paragraph above.
2007-11-20 01:18:38 · answer #4 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He is cheating emotionally. I am married and would never dream of seeing other men naked or talking dirty to them through chat, text or whatever. He is probably not going to stop his behavior, it's like an addiction and you have to decide if you are willing to put up with it or not...sometimes in life we have to choose our battles and you have to decide if this is worth the relationship or not...if he is making you feel the way say then it's probably not worth it....
2007-11-20 01:24:41 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs. Jack Sparrow ♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You would be wise to dump him...His reason for chatting with girls far away...is so there "is no chance of him hookin up with them".....That means he has no self control.....why do you allow him to treat you with so little respect? I don't think he loves you....or he wouldn't be on the computer pretending to be someone else in order to get nekkid pics of other chics...
2007-11-20 01:16:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Him chatting dirty and texting messages is not cheating, but he might as well be. You need to explain to him that it's hurting you and if he can't stop doing it then you should find someone that is worth your time and wants to look at you naked not other women. Good luck.
2007-11-20 01:15:38 · answer #7 · answered by Nikki 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like he is in love with the internet... not you.. sorry to say that. I think he might be obsessed with sex and online.
I bet if you confront him and tell him to stop just a week or two for you he'll get kinda aggressive and aggitated. Just go sumwhere, where there is no internet connection, that is my tipp for yall. Go make vacation or in a hotel or to the lake, theater or sumthin.
But DO IT before its too late!
2007-11-20 01:17:17 · answer #8 · answered by Marcus Paul 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have just experienced very similar things with my other half. I am hoping it hasn't gone as far as your situation has but it really really hurts. It too has made me feel that we are lacking something in our relationship for him to need the "buzz" of flirting with other unknown women. It has made me so insecure now and everytime he is on the computer, I suspect he is up to no good! I agree with you that they are not physically cheating but it still really hurts.
2007-11-20 01:17:04 · answer #9 · answered by cheeky_monkey 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It really sounds like he's a douche bag! It will keep going further and further until he just checks out the chicks in his area, then the next thing you know he's doing one. You will never know because he's already proved he's a liar! Use your head and tell him to piss off!
2007-11-20 06:33:02 · answer #10 · answered by M A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋