My husband and I have been married 7 1/2 yrs. She has done things and said things to me and is trying to come between us and he allows it. He won't listen to me or believe anything negative I say about her. In his eyes she can do no wrong. He doesn't treat me with respect or even caring. He says he loves me, but disses me all the time where she's concerned. We are christians and I've showed him some bible verses about how husbands should love their wives and put them first. He even argues with God's word. I bellieve he is a sociopath because he cannot see that he is doing wrong by me and has no conscience and is unable to care about the pain he is causing me. I believe in the wedding vows but I don't know how long I can live with the pain he is causing me. I would never try to come between him and his daughter but he is letting her come between us. He has another daughter that he has disowned for a stupid reason. He turns love on and off like a light switch. Advice please.
2007-11-20 00:59:52 · 17 answers · asked by kbear 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
People don't wake up and suddenly become sociopaths one day. If he is a sociopath now, he was a sociopath when you were dating him and he was a sociopath the day of your wedding. He's not going to change now.
Therefore, the question becomes how to cope. The answer to that is to love him for who he is. If the relationship with an adult daughter, who presumably doesn't even live with you, is the only problem in your marriage, you're doing very, very well. So, ignore the words of the daughter, rise above it all, and behave at all times with courtesy and aplomb. In other words, don't take the bait. Don't play the game. Simply live your life, be happy, and treat the daughter consistently with this reality: she is truly not an important part of YOUR life.
2007-11-20 01:31:17 · answer #1 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love husband puts daughter child anymore 27 married
2016-02-03 08:17:24 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow this sounds like a hard pill to swallow! In cases such as yours its best to leave the answers and advise to the pros, so with all due respect, I think it may be time to call one, their are many great christian marriage therapists who can better handle your dilema, I can sit here and tell you to talk to your hubby and tell ya to leave if he doesnt put you first, but you know and I know that none of this is gonna work, so I say go seek marriage therapy soon! Sometimes in a marriage when you put a 3rd person in the mix, who doesnt know you or your hubby, the 3rd person who has nothing to gain or lose can show your husband how his charactor defects are causing you hurt and pain, maybe then he will see the truth, because right now you are helpless, you cant do anything or say anything to make him change, he will only think you are nothing more then jealous of his little girl, and yes I use the term little girl, because this is how he still sees her, and she knows it too, in her mind shes daddys little girl and she wants to stay in her spot of daddys little girl, so It,s your job to put a end to the co-dependent twisted behavior, and this is why I will leave you with my advise to seek therapy, its the only way to change the situation.
2007-11-20 01:28:31 · answer #3 · answered by penelope 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First off, you are going about this in all the wrong ways. Observe his daughter when she interacts with her father and see what it is she does that has helped in always per-swaying him to her way. My guess is that she probably acts sweet to him, helpless, and this has worked for her like a charm. While you on the other hand, have acted in a complaining tone, even challenged him by God's words in the bible, this has not worked. My advice to you will be to toss out the complaining hat and replace it with an angels hallow. It seems odd how once a woman gets married she forgets how it was that she was able to capture her man in the first place. I bet it wasn't with complaining, it was with sweetness and kindness. So stop doing what has not worked and call on all your women's sweetness to alert and get that man to listen to you. Best of luck!
2007-11-20 01:26:22 · answer #4 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You're not going to win this battle...accept his daughter unconditionally (does the Bible mention unconditional love?) Have you talked to her about these things she has done and said to you? Instead of running to your husband maybe you could confront her and clear the air. Usually when rude people are confronted they back down quite a bit. If she knows she can get away with it she'll likely continue.
And I don't know the circumstances but if my parents divorced when I was older, I might have more issues with the new step-parents.
2007-11-20 01:10:29 · answer #5 · answered by laura1977 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a loser. He has no thought for you or consideration and she will always come first; more his fault than hers. Of course, saying negative things about her will not help either; never come between a parent and their child. However, he does sound abusive, I wouldn't call him a sociopath though. Honestly, at this point, you can try joint marital counseling but looks like divorce would be best for both of you.
EDIT: To DRMATMA or whatever your name is, first off, I am not WRONG; you may disagree with my response but that does not mean I am wrong, merely that we have vastly different POVs. Thanks for the editorial though!
(I TOTALLY disagree with your response but I would never say you were WRONG. Learn some tact/politeness/consideration/common sense when you answer here. Makes life easier for everyone...)
2007-11-20 01:06:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
There may be many things in their past that bring your husband and his daughter to this point. Perhaps something in her childhood that he feels guilty about-maybe he wasn't there for her when she needed him. or something. Whatever happened, he probably won't tell you. Maybe she is trying to do that-force him to choose her over you & over her sister. He should not disown his child nor should he be forced to choose between you. That does not mean he should allow her to disrespect you in any way. I have no idea what she is doing, but you can deal with this in time. Don't be alone with her- Defend yourself to her when you feel under attack; making sure that your husband understands that if he will not defend you, you can and will do it yourself.
2007-11-20 01:22:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is really messing up, because your his wife and his daughter shouldn't come between you and him. i am a christian, too. if you showed him the verses in the bible, and he argues with the lord's word then he aint really a christian. i got a question: why is he doing this to you? tell him if he dont stop this you will leave him. that's i would do. he shouldn't put his daughter first and not you
2007-11-20 01:13:44 · answer #8 · answered by depressed chic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO thisisme is wrong....! divorce is not the option. you have to understand that thats his child... he HAS to put her before anyone... she will always be his daughter but you are replacesable just like he is in your life... what needs to be done here is having a talk.. it seems like you have something against his daughter and you shouldnt. you should know saying negative things about his daughter will cause issues between you two. maybe try to establish a better relationship between you and his daughter.. but the anger aside...!!! and stop the feud between you three... its the only way your marriage would work...
2007-11-20 01:10:19 · answer #9 · answered by DatDrMaHeLuvs 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
First of all She is not a child! And if he turns it on and off and has disowned one child there goes his stability in Christianity! He does owe it to you to give you respect. If he is unwilling to do that,I would be divorce court bound. Are you willing to spend the rest of your life second to her? If she won't give you a chance and he definitely isn't prepared to demand she respect you because he doesn't. then run. It will only get worst.Hit him where it hurts in court
2007-11-20 01:11:11 · answer #10 · answered by cindyokie1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋