I love my husband but lately he's been driving me crazy. I'm 3 months pregnant and he's never home. He works full time and is an assistant football coach at the high school where I work. He goes there after work so he gets home around 8 or so right when I'm ready to call it a night. Then on the weekends he still wants to go out with his friends and I have put the breaks on that but it aggravates him so then he gets mad w/ me that I want him to stay in and we have a horrible time. At first he was really excited about the baby but now I feel so alone and I am craving for attention. Is this just hormonal? He thinks I overreact but I just want him around and for US to do things... This is more of a venting session but any advice of how to POSITIVELY handle this would be great! :)
2007-11-20 00:41:16 · 17 answers · asked by *~Cam's Mommy ~* 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let me add..on the weekends, it's college football all day Saturday and NFL Sunday...and I try to get him to go places etc. and hang out w/ me but the TV/FOOTBALL is more important!!
2007-11-20 00:41:49 · update #1
Well, you are in the earlier stages of pregnancy where you are tired all the time, and hormones can take over. However, if you want to spend more time with your husband, you have the right to tell him. It's not overreacting.
You know you shouldn't force him to stay around all the time - he needs a life of his own as well as a life with you, and if you try to place restrictions on that, he will grow to resent you for it.
I know you have needs that you want your husband to meet, but can he realistically meet all of them? If you are lonely and craving attention all the time, you need some friends too. He goes out with his friends, why don't you go out with yours? If you don't have any close friends to go out with, join a club, or class, or similar and make some. You can't expect your husband to be your entire social world - that is too much to ask of him.
Make a social life for yourself. When your husband sees that you aren't quite so needy of him, he might be more inclined to stick around more. Men are a bit funny like that...
Above all, don't stress out too much over it. You need to look after yourself and your baby. Take care.
2007-11-20 01:25:02 · answer #1 · answered by helly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Venting is good, but action is better!!!!!
Write him a letter telling him how much you love him and miss his company, then point out to him that you did not marry to be alone, and that he is on the path of a fast divorce if things do not change and quicky, YOU MAY AS A PEACE MAKING TELL HIM THAT YOU WILL GO WITH HIM AND SUPPORT WHEN IT IS IMPORTANT FOR HIM TO GO, OR YOU CAN FOUND OTHER INTEREST TO KEEP YOU HAPPY ON THOSE OCCASIONS,I do not like that he gets mad at you, it shows immaturity. I know you are not going to like this letter,but I can see ten years down the road, no I am not a psychic, just life experience
It is going to be much much worse as your pregnancy goes on and after baby is born, Fix it now! Or divorce him now!
He must have been a sport freak before you married him did you not see the signs? Did you hope he would change?Good luck
Married people cannot live in each others pockets and it is healthy to have out side interests and hobbies, but this is a tender time for you and if he cannot be there for you now then you may as well forget it
2007-11-20 09:08:39 · answer #2 · answered by Loretta M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
PREGNANCY ALERT!
Just because you have put on the brakes to a life outside does not mean he must, right now.
I understand that you do not find smoky bars fun without drinking, but to make him go cold turkey as well is a bit unrealistic isn't it?
High school football season is now over so that should not be an issue.
I understand that you are hormonal and vulnerable as well as craving attention. He has not gone through that yet.
Give him a loose rein or you will make him as crazy as you think he is making you.
Also please understand that he will not ever be as excited with this as you are. Men tend to get involved with the kids when they are able to walk and talk.
Step back and take a deep breath. You are pregnant he is not. If you get through this time without wanting to get that divorce two weeks before delivery or having him out chasing girls who are not yet pregnant you have achieved some level of success.
2007-11-20 08:58:47 · answer #3 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, maybe it's not just him!?!? Maybe it is you too. He wants to go out, you don't, you want to do things at the same time he wants to do something else. It's called compromise. Just because you are pregnant doesn't mean you're dead.
Try taking a nap during the day so that you are awake when he gets home. Try going out every other weekend. Go shopping after the game. Maybe he can pick a couple games to watch, then do stuff at the other times.
If you give a little, he will probably be a lot more receptive than you just cutting him off.
2007-11-20 09:08:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like somebody got married, And pregnant, with different expectations for the relationship. Most men do the sports thing and most women think they're men are insensitive. You need to find some middle ground or there's trouble just ahead. Your only 3 months pregnant, neither one of you have even seen the hormonal flood that is yet to come. Good luck to ya.
2007-11-20 09:10:19 · answer #5 · answered by lenzix5 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sorry if this sounds rude or anything but it is true that we can be a pack of B*itches when theyre pregnant you know sore back and many many other pains bothering us. he may not show it but im sure he's happy about the whole baby situation too but you need to think about him too. He has to work to help take care of you and your soon to be baby. that hospital bill isnt going to pay for itself you know. anyways just try to sit down and CALMLY talk to him about the situation and explain to him how your feeling. Dont be angry about him leaving on weekends and watching football games HE A GUY and they do that besides he's probably got some stressfull thoughts of his own that he feels that he can let out with his friends. basicly what im saying is listen to his side of the story as much as you tell your own and if you both cant make ends meet atleast trying to make it half way.
Good luck and i hope your baby is a healthy one
hun
*Kiz
2007-11-20 08:51:46 · answer #6 · answered by Kiz 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your hormones have something to do with the way you feel but damn all you are asking for is alittle LOVE!!! There is nothing wrong with wanting to be with/ around your husband!! Try doing things the both of you like or maybe just give in an sit an watch football with him maybe that itself will fix him women aren't allowed to watch football man sport, but just try different things!!!Good Luck
2007-11-20 08:49:05 · answer #7 · answered by ajjsdj4ever 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Forcing him to stay home is, as you can see, counter-productive...what you describe is true for most of the married men in the USA. Try to get him to set aside at least sometime for the two of you to spend together and alone...there won't be any time once the baby comes.
2007-11-20 08:44:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
just talk to him, tell him how you are feeling. say you know he may think your "overreacting" but if he really wanted you to be happy he would stay. With the baby comming along it might scare him, and he isnt ready to be a dad. so he is trying to fit in the things he dosnt thing he will have time for when the baby comes, You must try to understand his point to, this is a mutual thing here. just sit him down one day and ask flat out why he wants to go out with his friend over stay with you.
2007-11-20 08:46:57 · answer #9 · answered by vetchick13 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He needs to understand he is no longer single and has a family who he needs to put at the top of his list. If you don't fix this now you will be sitting home alone with your baby while he lives the single life...
2007-11-20 09:07:57 · answer #10 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋