My husband is in the military. We live in Florida. My family lives in Ohio. His family [except his father who lives in Florida also] lives in New Mexico. We just got back from a most needed trip to visit his family in NM.
Anyway, we are in debt now. We've never been in debt. It isn't a whole lot but it's much more than I'd like to be in. [$1,000] There were issues this year with our Thanksgiving plans. [See link below.] Now, we're having issues with our Christmas plans!
My FIL made plans with his 'new' family before he was divorced to go to NM to ski. Now that he's divorced my SIL will only be able to go. DH has decided [and told his family] we will also be attending this ski trip.
I have many issues with this. Leaving the fact that I truly dislike my FIL and I haven’t’ visited any of my family in over a year--we are in debt. Between this Thanksgiving trip, Christmas presents, and so much more we are just going to drowned ourselves not to add this new trip. We have just got back from NM. I’m just going crazy over all these road trips.
So, what is the best way to approach this situation with my husband? I don’t want to nag and accuse him of not being thoughtful but I don’t want to just give in, again. I want him to understand that while I don’t mind spending time with his family I really enjoy having the holidays just us. He’s been deployed through many and I just want some holiday we can spend alone. Thanks for your advice on my situation!
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Atd.XYyuGNMhZYY5.ymSQansy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071117112050AATOcNR
2007-11-20 00:35:48 · 8 answers · asked by .vato. 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I also should add he has a problem telling people 'no.' So, sometimes [most times] even if he doesn't want to go he can be lured into it. It drives me nuts but it's his family so it's his deal.
2007-11-20 00:37:51 · update #1
Mr. Jessup--Sorry about that! Here you go: FIL means father in law. SIL means sister in law. DH means dear husband.
2007-11-20 00:42:56 · update #2
The reason why he's not concerned about our debt is because we'll get our tax return in January and be able to pay it off. [We get about 6K back...] Even though we can pay it off quickly I still feel uneasy about it. You know?
2007-11-20 00:46:56 · update #3
Just tell him that you really want to stay home and just be the 2 of you for xmas this year.
Tell him that you would like to save money and you can do the NM ski trip next year as well as going up to Ohio to see your family.
2007-11-20 00:40:37 · answer #1 · answered by Jo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just talk to him about the situation cuz from what i can tell your just going to be worried about the all this money your going to need at thanksgiving, and then chirstmas and the folllowing year... why spend money when you don;t have an stress over till no end? not worth it. just tell your husband straightout that you guys don't have the money to go on trips right now. there ALWAYS next year and you guys can always travel to your families in the summer or some other time. or why not let your family come down to your house in FL? nice weather out here also..just tell him what you think and your feeling about thing and you guys don't have the money to spend on things you don't have or able to pay off. debt is a serious thing and it can build a lot over time... good luck
2007-11-20 00:45:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need to have a heart to heart with your husband. Lay it all out.
1. You both are in debt. It's not wise to get further into debt.
2. You just were in New Mexico.
3. You haven't seen your family in over a year. It should be your turn.
4. You would really like to have some quiet time around the holidays, just you two, to reconnect, relax, etc.
FIL = father in law
SIL = son in law
DH = dear husband
2007-11-20 00:43:01 · answer #3 · answered by Unsub29 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you said here is what you need to tell him.
"I want him to understand that while I don’t mind spending time with his family I really enjoy having the holidays just us. He’s been deployed through many and I just want some holiday we can spend alone."
Think of the kids. These are the memories they will want. Waking up in their house Christmas morning.
2007-11-20 00:43:34 · answer #4 · answered by just me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain you need fmaily not extended family time. Hopefully he can understand. Maybe you can be the one to tell the family you aren't going to get him off the hook. I feel for you and i know what you are going through. Saddly i have a hard time saying No so i should say my wife knows what you are going through
2007-11-20 03:04:51 · answer #5 · answered by Big Daddy R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first you need to start clipping coupons because it starts out small then the debt just builds up. Dont shop,no fastfood,or Nights out. Second you need to do what you need to do.If the only way to appoarch the sitaution is by him thinking your nagging hiw,well thats too bad.
2007-11-20 00:43:28 · answer #6 · answered by molly k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I share our extended family time.. we both are close to our families and we make sure that we see them equally. Let him know that his family is importan to you, yet you also miss your family and want to see them.
As far as the debt, let the money be the least of your worries. Life is too short to worry about money, if we spent all of our time worrying about it, then we will never enjoy the important things in life.. (i.e. family, friends...LIFE)
2007-11-20 01:06:20 · answer #7 · answered by jim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you told him that you want to have a cozy time alone this year? If he can't say no then how can he say NO to his sweetie???
2007-11-20 00:57:30 · answer #8 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋