Do I have the right to be mad? 10 pts...?

Question

My boyfriend and I let go of a serious relationship about 3 months ago due to distance. He still called me on the phone every few days, because we agreed to be friends. Last week, he sent me this long love letter asking me if I still loved him- he told me he cries at night, and a bunch of other cute mushy gushy stuff. He was incredibly passionate, so much that it actually seemed like he'd never get over it. I believed it- because he was always like that.
I told him we had to let go, if not for the time being; it'd be easier, and if we're meant to be we'll get back together.
Then he sent me another telling me he couldn't let go- the letter was even more passionate than the first. It sounded a little obsessive, but knowing him, it sounded like he'd never get over it.
Last night he called me at 1 AM. He mostly complained about school, but didn't even mention the letter he wrote me- which apparently had him all shook up.

Other then those few problems he was having in class, he seemed perfectly fine.Then I asked him what the letter he wrote me was all about, he told me he didn't even know what I was talking about! Like it never happened or something….
It's not that I care if he's seeing other girls. I WANT him to let go. But to pretend he's so devastated, and then move on with such ease- enough to inform ME about it? And to lie and tell me that he doesn’t know what I’m talking about? I was so mad, I hung up right then and there. I'm thinking they may have been drunk love letters that he's embarrassed about. Whatever happened, don’t I have a reason to be upset? I gave him the chance to justify himself, and he didn't. Should I just ignore him?

PS: I know for a fact that he wrote those letters. He has a unique writing style and his letter showed that.

Answer 1

What does he have- temporary amnesia or a split personality?

Sigh. No wonder you have to ask in here- it is hard to figure out.

He sounds more elastic than rubber band, more changeable than diapers on a but+.

Tell him to rope his two personalities together then you can have a heart to heart talk, all three of you.

Answer 2

Maybe he thought it all over and thought he was pushing it a bit. That maybe he should ease off if he has a shot of having a relationship with you ever again. Does he use a lot of alcohol? That may be why he became unstable. He may need to go into a treatment program if he is drinking too much. I dont know why you would be mad if you wanted the distance in the first place. Do you feel like pulling away when someone gets too close? Do you have trouble getting your distance right in relationships? Sounds like a borderline personality a little bit. Look up the characteristics of a borderline personality on the internet. A lot of people have it, and you can get over it with some therapy. Good luck in all of this.

Answer 3

It sounds like he is a little unstable. The letters could very well have been written in a drunken state. I wouldn't get mad about it. I would be a little frustrated as to the unstableness of the situation; but getting mad only puts the burden on you, not him. You need to distance yourself from him. Emotional people like that will bring you down and make you unstable, questioning yourself. It sounds as if you are pretty stable and strong. Stay that way, and get away from him.

Answer 4

NOTHING wrong with him being emotional, he is letting his feelings out. If you believe that he is a little obsessive you are probably right, you know him more than we all do. Use your gut intuition. I would let go for now if he is behaving like that and not giving you straight answers. I would ignore him completely. Me, personally I would question that, especially if you know already that he had written those letters then him not admitting it? Why would HE be embarrassed IF he had THAT kind of LOVE for you...Doesn't make sense. I would cool it for awhile.

Answer 5

no, you dont have to feel mad. you should just be confused and irritated because of the way he reacted when you asked him about the letters. ya, i think he might have been drunk or under something (high) when he wrote those letters.

you should just keep your distance from him so it can help him move on. find another guy to like :) move on with your own life, as well. good luck

Answer 6

actually, i dont think you have the right to be mad.
so what if he didn't admit those letters to you? he might've been embarrassed of it or scared of what you would have to say to him. since you keep telling him to let it go, maybe that's what he doesn't want to hear.

it's a lot easier for someone to express their feelings in writing and NOT have to confront another person about it. you know what i'm saying? don't get mad.

Answer 7

He just trying to save face by pretending he didn't write the letters since he obviously poured out his heart and soul and didn't have the desired results!
Let him have his dignity.

Answer 8

i think you do have the right to be mad. i also belive that he could be trying to balanace his life and get his act together and like yeah maybe he just isn't ready for a realtionship at the moment. i can realte to this my ex was the same way and like he tried controling me and then when i wanted to be alone he would pressure me in to things and like then we worked things out. and from his letter it soundds like he really loves you i would say if u belive you are ready to be with him go for it and like yeah go for it.

Answer 9

Mad? Nah... annoyed? sure. You're letting go of him anyway so, what difference does it make if you find out now that you're done with him that he can't confess to his own letters?

Answer 10

I agree will Uncle Tim (the 1st answer). You are right about moving on.