I'm so lonely. Can somebody please answer this question?

Question

At school (I'm in 8th grade) nobody hangs around with me. I am always alone, nobody ever comes up to talk to me and even if I come up to talk to anybody they just answer so shortly that I feel snubbed. This girl in my class HATES me because (in her own words) I'm so childish, when I am like one of the serious people in my class. That is not a reason to hate anybody, is it? Because they are childish? I'm so lonely, and I've been in this school for three years, and not one friend in those three long years. I'm getting fed up. I got really upset in fourth grade, once, when my.........;-( ........ my best friend died. She was the sweetest friend ever. And I had only her as a friend, and I vowed to myself that I would make more friends so that my grief and sorrow and loneliness would diminish. But nobody's giving me a chance. What should I do to make friends with the people I really want to have as friends?

Please help me. I'm so confused!!

At my school, we don't have a counselor, otherwise I would have gone much earlier. And all the friends I have ever had (around 7 really good friends scattered all over the Earth, including the one who died), I have been loyal through thick and thin, even when it costs me my own neck. I would readily get in trouble to save a friend.

Answer 1

well first that girl who called u childish is probaly just jealous and keeping people away from you. First does ur school have any soical events coming up if so try going u may meet somebody there who u can talk too. keep trying to talk to them too. but if they just won't let u in. try asking about transfers with ur mom

Answer 2

After reading about your problem, I believe that you are a lot more mature than most people your age. That could be the reason why you have trouble finding friends at this moment.

First of all, don't feel bad because of that. I think the most important thing is to have confidence in yourself. Self-esteem is the basis for charisma. Once you truly believe in yourself, you will find that people get attracted to you.

Secondly, try to be more cheerful. Nobody likes to be around a person who's always grieving, because it drags them down as well.

Thirdly, it may be hard, but don't behave like you're lonely. At your age, most people are quite superficial, and they tend to ostracize people who seem to be lonely. The only way to get out of this "downward spiral of doom" is to take people less seriously. For instance, when people snub you, don't take it to heart. The girl who hates you is just too dumb to appreciate your good qualities.

Lastly, as you grow older, your peers will start to mature too, and they will learn to appreciate your maturity. :)

Answer 3

you will be starting highschool probably next year and there are a lot of people most likely about 2,ooo so the chances are you are going to make a friend just be yourself and go up to people and introduce yourself. If they don't want to be your friend, you are way better off without them. That girl that hates you, just don't let it show that it bothers you and she will most likely leave you alone and chances are that she doesn't have nothing else better to do with her life and she is irrogant. But, someone will like you just don't let it get to your head because the next friend that you get may be your best friend for the rest of your life. I am sorry about your friend

Answer 4

Virtual or bodily proximity isn't the equal as emotional connection! Having individuals round you, both in individual or through the Internet, does now not imply your soul is getting its fill of connecting/sharing with different individuals. Leave the pc and nosy friends at the back of. Rather than studying approximately that park or new eating place, get in the market and notice it for your self. Who is aware of who you'll be able to meet or what reviews you'll be able to percentage with any one...even simply your self.

Answer 5

The girl that said you were childish is an idiot. You are in 8th grade. How does she want you to act. The world is full of people like her, so if you cannot find friends in school, can you find them outside of school? Can you join a ymca or some type of club for kids your age? There has to be something around there you can join? Ask your mom. I bet she'll know something. You can meet friends outside of school. Even if you find one good friend, it beats having 5 bad friends. Good luck!!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

I'll be your friend.. Try looking deep inside your self and see if theres anything that can be changed to make you more attractive to other people. Sometimes you need to lead by example, for example if you see a better way of doing something or can see something needs to be changed but nobodys doing it, you can do it. This may earn you respect and acknowledgement from your peers.
Other ways to instant popularity is start dealing drugs or playing in a band but i wouldnt recommend them if your intellectually bright.
Find an interest like a hobby or sport or activity.

Answer 7

Hi Ginny. My name is Amy. First of all, I really like your icon. The other thing is, and maybe you have heard it already... Kids can be cruel. At your age, EVERYONE is insecure about themselves, even the so called cool kids who do not seem insecure and also the ones who make you feel snubbed. And no, the girl in your class has no reason to hate you, she is most likely just insecure herself, and picking on other people may make her feel better (about herself) Yes, really. I have 3 pieces of advice. First, if you are close to your parents, talk to them about the problem you are having. Tell them you feel hurt and really need to connect with other people your own age and just cannot seem to make the connection. They may have ideas that will help you. If you do not want to talk to your parents, see a guidance counselor and tell them how you feel. Ask for advice about this problem from them also. The other thing I think you should do is hold your head high and carry yourself with confidence. Make a list of your talents and unique qualities, this will help you in building confidence and once you read your list, you will know that there is a neat person looking back at you in the mirror. A few ideas about how to make friends... ask your parents to help you find a program like BigBrothers & BigSisters. If you go to church, participate with the youth group there. Become involved with any group possible to give you exposure to people in or outside of your school, and to help alleviate your lonlieness. The other thing is, having lost a friend myself, I know this really hurts, make sure you are really open to making friends. You may seem unapproachable and not realize it. It has a lot to do with body language. Don't hold your head down and avoid eye contact with people. Hold your head high, smile and look people right in the eye, even if you are kind of scared too. Say hello to the girls you would like to make friends with and call them by name when you do it. Just try this for a few days, see how it works. Please email me back and let me know how its going. Good Luck, Ginny! P.S. I did not have many friends in high school, but I still have the close friends that I had then, now that I am in my 30's... and just the other day, a woman who was one of the "cool kids" in high school came to visit me and we are making friends. I really understand how you feel.

Answer 8

If the girl in your class is picking on you or bullying you, the best thing to do is not respond. Don't let her see she is upsetting you. If she doesn't get a reaction from you, she is less likely to continue her bullying.

If she does persist, tell a teacher or principal or guidance counselor.

Next, look for someone else at school . . . someone who like you seems to be always alone. I promise you, there is someone else at your school experiencing the same loneliness. So look for the person who is sitting alone, or standing alone. Say "hi!" to that person.

Join in the school's extracurricular activities. One is more likely to make friends with people who have similar interests. So find a club or activity that interests you, and join in.

Good luck to you.

Answer 9

its usually by the 8th grade when groups have been cemented in which mean if you havent been talking to any of these people within the years that youve known them BEFORE ANY OF THIS there is no way your going to get full setence anwsers from them unles they are the most friendy people in the world. forget those kids, STUDY, one day you'll be in a pent house sweat looking down on the beautiful lights of Tokyo of something while they're stuck in the same home town in their same little groups. you've got a computer make new friends online just dont get so wrapped up in wanting to be frinds with people who dont want to be friends with you Hun

Answer 10

Okay look, get over yourself. People don't like sad peeps to hang around. Heres a thought GO UP TO SOMEONE AND START A CONVERSATION randomly. Join clubs and make friends that way, otherwise OH WELL. Enjoy the solitude while it lasts. I envy you...>.O I dislike people bugging me. Yeah vote me down or what ever, but seriously, moping and whining online isnt going to get you a VISIBLE friend.
-Ryko

Answer 11

Gosh, this is tough. I feel sorry for you. I know what you are feeling right now from reading your question. Let me try to help you out.

Firstly, do you have like a proper class? I mean do you guys get posted to different classes for different subjects? Or do a group of, say, 20 students who study the same subject combination stay together all the time? If y'all do, then it's easier to make friends since you people are together all the time. If not, do you have like a couple people who go to almost all the same classes as you? Try to make friends with them. Since y'all are like studying the same subjects, it's easier since you all have some common topics, isn't it?

You can reach out to a wider circle of friends; do you have an interest in sports or hobbies? Try joining the swim team or the drama club, for example, if you like it. Then, you will be hanging out with the same people with common interests as you.

See that girl sitting alone in the cafeteria? Go up and talk to her. You two may just become the best of pals. Are you picky when choosing friends? Do you like prefer to hang out with the cheerleaders to science club nerds? If yes, then it will be a little more difficult.

Acquaintances are everywhere. They become friends when y'all have common goals and interests. Good friends take time to develop. You need to become frank and honest with your friends so that y'all will become closer. You don't need to change for that girl you talked about. Some people just have issues, probably they are just jealous of you for your looks or grades. Trust me, I have seen quite a few of these people. Most importantly, be true to the people around you - let people feel you are approachable, friendly, kind... Sometimes, you must also learn to let go of the past. Just because a person isn't really the same as your best friend (who died, I'm sorry) doesn't mean you two can't be as close. Reach out - it's important.

"In philosophical discussions of friendship, it is common to follow Aristotle (Nicomachean Ethics, Book VIII) in distinguishing three kinds of friendship: friendships of pleasure, of utility, and of virtue." http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/friendship/ I find this piece from Aristotle very meaningful. Go read it.

I had been through what you are going through. I know sometimes it's so difficult to make friends 'cos they simply ignore you, snub you... It's until when you get to know people who have the same interests, ideas, attitude etc. as you then will you consider them as friends. I really hope you can get through this. Good luck, gal!

PS. I agree with the post below me. But don't fret. You can still get friends.