Ok so last night my hubbie was coughing his guts out and I was so angry at him that he didn't nip it in the bud and go to the doctors weeks ago before it got this bad, but last night when his mummy dearest suggested going to the doctors he was like "oh yes mummy you're right, please make one for me". Not only that, but when I offered to make him a concoction of homemade remedies to try and ease his cough he was having none of it but as soon as his mother offered to do the same thing, again he was like "yes mummy please make it for me". This pissed me off. Then she came into MY bedroom while I was there and watched over her son to make sure he was changing into warm clothes, she also tried to tell me what medicines I should give him even though I told her nothing worked cos i've tried them all but she told me I was wrong, like I didn't even know my own husband.
What really pissed me off was when she said "mummy's only next door just knock on the wall if you need anything" even
2007-11-19 21:13:37 · 18 answers · asked by Scampi 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
though she knew that I was lying in the bed next to him!! You think I'd be his first port of call!!
Anyway I felt so shitty last night by being undermined so much by my hubbie, I'm so pissed off at him that I really don't want to talk to him, he just doesn't get that they both made me feel like ****.
He's never a mummy's boy, but yesterday he was big time and she was just lapping up the whole "look my son wants and needs his mummy more than his wife".
I have made so many sacrifices for him such as living with his mum cos he wants me to and dealing with her ****, but i am soooo angry at him, I want to move out but he wants to wait, I am sick of hearing his excuses and want to get out but I've put so much hard work into this marriage and given up alot to let Satan Incarnate ruin it.
Tell me am I making a big deal out of nothing??? I was in tears this morning cos they made me feel so ****, I expect it from her, but never my hubbie.
2007-11-19 21:21:32 · update #1
Laura K - i doubt very much she's concerned, she's certainly not concerned when she's threatning to kick us out of the house because we haven't done what she wants us to do even though we pay rent and shouldn't have to. It;s all about the money then. She's the biggest hypocrite on the planet.
2007-11-19 21:24:19 · update #2
Just to let you all know when we got married we were young and naiive and had no money so had no choice but to live with her, instead of renting for double what we pay her, my husband decided it would be better for us to pay very little and save up for our own house. Better for him more like it. I'm the one who's bloody suffering. My hubbie keeps telling me we will be going soon but it's not soon enough, I have told him we should start renting our own place instead, but he's having none of it. It's like talking to a brick wall, he needs a slap so does she.
2007-11-19 22:03:13 · update #3
Sounds like he needs to tell you both to back off! He is a grown man, he should be able to dress himself and be responsible enough to take his on cough syrup!! His mother should p!ss off and leave you to be a family, her job is done but he needs to grow a set and tell her himself. If he doesn't want you to behave like his wife why did he marry you?? Have you tried smothering his mother in her sleep? :)
2007-11-19 21:21:02 · answer #1 · answered by Banny Grasher 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That sounds like trouble ahead... For your husband, that is a very comfortable position, with a small harem of two women dancing around him and competing for his attention. But this is not how a marriage should work.
Maybe you want to wait till your husband feels better, but then have a very serious, non-confrontational one-on-one talk with him about what your MIL's (partly well-intentioned, no doubt) interference in your married life does to you. It's crucial that you make your husband realize that this is a serious problem, not some sitcom situation to laugh off. And it's crucial that you get his full support (many men react admirably to a little pressure). Once you have achieved that (which may take more than one talk) you might have a talk à trois with your mother-in-law, telling her that you appreciate her love & care for her son's well-being but that it would be better to keep your lives separated. Have clear rules ready, which you can hope she will grudgingly accept if met by a united front. Of course you need to make her feel that there is no personal rancor, just finding a way for all three of you to live in harmony.
Best of luck to you!
2007-11-20 05:28:17 · answer #2 · answered by cyranonew 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why dont you wait until your hubby is better, stick it out. When he feels better - you move out. With or without him.
The way she acted can be explained by jealousy and bitchiness and bitterness. The way he acted... hmmm... Maybe just being an asshole and not appreciating you and putting himself first.
You are not making a big deal out of it. This is a shitty situation. I would NEVER want to live with my parents or in-laws, no matter how great they were. An adult man nowadays should not live with his "mummy".
Tell his friends he asked for "mummy" - that would really put a perspective on what he is saying and acting like.
2007-11-20 05:53:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
the mother in law should back the f*** off and give you some space, your hubby should back you up 100% and listen to you, you are worth more than this chick, so give him an ultimatum, and mean it! tell him it's either you or his mum, as you all can't exhist in the same house like this! you need to get a place of your own right now if you stand any chance of your marriage continuing. you can't have much more of this chick it's destroying you and you deserve so much more, you deserve to be happy!
so stick to your guns and tell him straight out what you want and what you expect from him, and if he doesn't want the same as you, then i'm affraid you have your answer.
no marriage is worth all the c*** you are getting
men generally don't listen untill you lay it on the line, remember not all men are a******s, some are dead x
good luck
you know where we are if you need to talk xx
2007-11-20 05:30:32 · answer #4 · answered by Missfit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sweetie you need to stop allowing this woman to make you so upset. talk to your husband and inform him that you want a date as to when you and him will be moving. let him know that you want to leave tomorrow but you will wait til his date, which should be no more than six months. so start saving the money and income taxes to make it happen. and once you and him leave you should have a better relationship with her. that is her son and will always be and when he is sick and suffering she will go into the mother mood and not realize that he has a wife to care for him. stop taking everything so personal. deal with it prayfully you will only have a few more months to go. you need to put your foot down on these issue. let him know that you are uncomfortable, and feel like so crap and etc. its called communication. GodBless
2007-11-20 06:31:51 · answer #5 · answered by Crystal G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG, I so sympathize with you. That was my hell for 6 months until she had to move back to California. She never saw any of his flaws and everything was my fault. I am too controlling, I never let him do anything he wants to do, he is not an alcoholic and I deserve every mean thing he says to me in a drunken rage.
Yes, you can tell him to do something until your blue in the face and it won't make sense unless someone else suggests it . Don't that just make you want to......Aghhhh. And not let go!!!!
Mine solved the problem for us, she had to pack up and move back home. It was hard on everybody. She was driving eveybody nuts, my husband , the kids too! there was a lot of hurt feelings between us and to this day, I have not spoken to her. She left in March.
Good Luck
2007-11-20 05:42:54 · answer #6 · answered by kimberleyelizabeth 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the best thing to do is talk to him, i know its easier sed than done. iv recently found out that my hubby went to his mummy when another woman tried it on with him and i was the last to find out they didnt think it was 'important'. so i sat down and told them both how they made me feel, she also tries to tell me hopw to bring my kids up and that where i draw the line she now knows i will bring my kids up the way i feel best for them and me, not the way she did it 25 yrs ago!!!!! u really nedd to pluck up courage to tell them both how they made u feel otherwise it will happen again and again, but do it in a nice way or it could turn out horrible for u all and u will only end up more p*ssed off.
good luck
2007-11-20 05:55:01 · answer #7 · answered by anna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I LOVE the title to the question. I am in a rush so i didnt get to read it but i had a **** head mother in law too and all i can say is dont giver a **** what she thinks tell her to **** off and if hubby doesnt like it, show him the door:)
2007-11-20 05:41:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The problem here is not that your mother in law is interfering with your lives, it's that you are allowing her to interfere with your lives by living under her roof.
Is there any particular reason you and your husband live with his mother? Since you're paying rent anyway, why not move into your own place instead of living in her house? It seems to me that would solve the problem, and would probably help improve your relationship with her.
2007-11-20 05:34:30 · answer #9 · answered by Steve T 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get the heck out of that house, girl. It's time you two "set up shop" on your own. I would have been sooo pissed also. Knowing myself, the next time he got sick I would ignore him, and if he started whining, offer him some cheese to go with it, (lol) or send him to his mamma. I dont know what his deal is, but he needs to cut the apron strings and realise your his family now.
2007-11-20 05:28:43 · answer #10 · answered by beentheredonethat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋