My boyfriend was being jerk of the century and to make a long story short, we fought and I filed a domestic assault report on him-I just wanted to get back at him for being so inconsiderate of me.I know now it was a huge mistake.I thought I could just "drop the charges"whenever I wanted to -apparently the state pursues it if you don't.Now he's in jail and b/c of how many women who ARE being abused try to drop the charges-they're not going to believe what really happened!!!My son misses his father and I'm afraid they won't drop the case....any good advice on what could help our situation will be immensely appreciated.............~sarah
2007-11-19 17:02:43 · 9 answers · asked by sarah283724 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
As someone who has been a victim of the same thing and who suffered incredibly for phony charges filed purely out of spite, I will tell you that your relationship is most likely over.
The way some counties handle it is to put BOTH the man and the woman in jail because false accusations of domestic abuse are all too common, so they don't make assumptions and let the judge figure it out. As a result, phony domestic violence charges are way down in those counties. But not all counties do this. Many are happy to keep their jails full of men who were called in because their girlfriends got mad at them and thought they "could teach him a lesson" and then the girlfriend lost control.
Thank you at least for being honest enough to admit what you have done here.
I truly hope other people who think they can call it off at will will learn that no...you completely destroy everything when you do this. I've counseled with men who ended up losing their kids, their jobs, their cars, their home, and virtually their entire future as a result of phony charges of domestic violence brought against them.
I myself have simply decided it is far too dangerous to even date a women in the police state society we now live in because it is far to easy for them to lie and even the police and the judges will tell you that if you are the guy, you will get screwed. You are presumed guilty until proven innocent and that can be a very hard thing to prove when the D.A. is under pressure to convict more heads for domestic violence. Your case gets caught up into a quota system where politics and appearances are more important that the truth.
I decided to completely leave the state and start over elsewhere, but not without a lot of depression and wandering...my life and my career were ruined by this and it has taken years for me to recover.
You can't just put the toothpaste back into the tube now. I think you can kiss your relationship goodbye and if he comes back to you, he is a fool because you will probably do this again, just as many women do who can't resist pushing the panic button and calling 911 out of spite, revenge, or ego-related reasons.
2007-11-19 18:53:59 · answer #1 · answered by John S. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This isn't as easy as you may think. If you tell the truth to the court you may be in trouble for using a false charge against your boyfriend. This is a matter that is best handled by an attorney. I wonder how your boy friend will react to you after he gets out of jail? I hope he isn't vindictive and goes after you.
2007-11-19 17:09:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, so you're actually evil, huh? Because filing a police report is really, really bad. That's more than "just getting back at" someone. In fact, I think it's more than just being immature. You've just created a criminal record against someone who probably trusts you. You have really damaged everything now. I think the best thing you can do is to get counseling. You need to improve your relationship for the sake of your son. You also need to show your bf that you are going to change. You both need to change for your child. It sounds like you need to grow up. You have really, really f'ed this one up. You may not be able to erase it, even by saying you lied. The best he can hope for is probation, but you need to get yourself fixed through counseling, so you learn to handle frustration better.
2007-11-19 17:13:59 · answer #3 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you may not drop quotes, by using fact which you're actually not the guy who data quotes. You referred to as the police, that's a checklist.. not quotes. the reason at the back of this.. is plenty too many enjoyed ones violence victims are threatened or intimidated into "dropping" quotes. What befell, befell. it is not approximately what befell earlier, yet what certainly exceeded off. you may communicate it with the DA's place of work, yet i think of the call is on them as to what gets filed with courtroom.
2016-10-02 02:53:30 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did he hit you? push you? knock you down?> smacked you? if the charges let me tell you if he doesn't get help now it will be worse down the road for you... you have to decide what is right for you and your child. don't stay in an abusive relationship for the children . they grow up and are still resentful.
2007-11-19 17:25:47 · answer #5 · answered by sheilasays 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ONE of you committed a serious crime, and deserves to go to jail.
Either he assaulted you, and he can be jailed for that, or he didn't and YOU can be jailed for filing a false police report.
Richard
2007-11-19 18:19:16 · answer #6 · answered by rickinnocal 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Domestic violence charges can not be dropped by you now that you filed them.
2007-11-19 17:06:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could call the DA who is prosecuting the case and tell him that you lied about the abuse.
2007-11-19 17:11:09 · answer #8 · answered by Ti 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Dump this guy before you get hurt!
2007-11-19 17:13:15 · answer #9 · answered by eccentriclady 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋