Everytime we quarrel, he don't realize that he's pushing me away. He never avoid doing those things that I hate. This makes me think of my ex-bf way back then, everytime he does things that insults me, especially my sensuality. My hubby has sexual desire that is not acceptable to me. But i know i am good in bed. I just can't afford to give him my ***.
I hate him all the more when he's reminding me of his infidelity by doing things that somehow refresh my memory of the pain it caused me.
I don't know how to make him feel that i'm beginning to bear hatred with him.
I
2007-11-19 17:01:10 · 14 answers · asked by lonely girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if he is insulting you in any way, then you should spend some time apart for a little while, or go see a marriage counselor. I would tell him. It might make him see what a jerk he is being.
2007-11-19 17:14:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say he never avoids doing the things that you hate. Does he know that you hate them? Do you think he's doing them on purpose or do you think that they just sort of happen and he forgot that you hated those things?
I would talk to him. Tell him that you feel like you're pushing away from the relationship, and you surely don't want that to happen. I'm sure he doesn't either. Let him know some of the things that you would need to see changed, but don't give him generals like, "I need you to stop hurting me." Tell him specifically what he does to hurt you, starting with the things that hurt you most and working your way down to the other Top 3. Just give him 3 to deal with at the moment.
When he stops doing those things, tell him how much you appreciate it, and then tell him the ONE thing he can do to make you feel more loved. This thing has to be something that he can do in the immediate future, not like "You need to show me that you care for 20 days in a row." What ONE THING can he do now to show you that he loves you?
If you do this often enough, sometimes it turns out that you get what you need and so does he. Good luck!
2007-11-19 17:08:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't be afraid to tell him because if he loves you he will respect you enough to work with you on this. You mention his infidelity so perhaps he is going elsewhere for the sexual things which you will not do, which is a bigger danger to you both because of diseases one or both of you may get. Often a person gets into another relationship after an abusive one too fast and that may be the case with you and your husband. You need to see about getting some counseling and see if he will go with you if you want to try to save the marriage. I will give you a link to a site about choices in life and that may help you as well. If he insists upon sexual things not acceptable to you, he is not feeling love but lust instead and you need a divorce in order to find love instead. Good Luck to you!!
2007-11-19 17:15:28 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do but you don't allow him to make you pregnant. Because already there is a problem between both of you and again your child will suffer in this. Any way ther e is no hope in this relation better to go for divorce but before that you discussed your problem with him take the help of marriage counseling give him all the chance. And try to make your relation beautiful. But even if your all try go failed there is no point in carrying relation with a insensible partner who is making your life hell today and will ruin your entire life in future.
2007-11-19 17:41:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie you need to leave the marriage temporarily at this point because you have no self esteem and you are allowing him to take on the daily the little that you do have. sweetie you are a married WOMAN now and you need to start acting like it. its called COMMUNICATION. your husband can not fix something that he doesnt know is wrong. you need to get a life and a grip and open your mouth and express your feelings on whatever and allow him the chance to change or roll. no one has time to be trying to figure out whats going on with you and as you know already if you dont he will find someone who will. GodBless
2007-11-19 17:11:08 · answer #5 · answered by Crystal G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is doing things behind my back, he hides things from me, I'm not a lier, I'm scared of losing him, I feel alone and he doesn't show any happy feelings with me its all hate
2015-06-24 20:39:36 · answer #6 · answered by Brooke Vanfleet 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but I feel your marriage is doomed..... He is totally insensitive to your feelings and a cheater to boot!
I would just tell him his behaviour is unacceptable and you can't put up with it any longer. Then leave him!
Best Wishes
2007-11-19 17:08:01 · answer #7 · answered by Chatterbox 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HE is the problem hon. HE is cheating on you. You both need counseling and he needs to use protection if you don't demand him getting tested for AIDS & Hepatitis.
2007-11-19 17:07:02 · answer #8 · answered by silvrhawk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him what its doing to you. Tell him to cut the crap.
2007-11-19 17:08:01 · answer #9 · answered by wife2denizmoi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell him how you are feeling..not to the extent of hateing him though............ good luck
2007-11-19 17:16:25 · answer #10 · answered by jess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋