To dinner,but I feel very uncomfortable with him beening their since my husband will be out of town. And should I tell my husband that my ex will be there or not, because my husband gets so jealous.
2007-11-19 16:12:30 · 23 answers · asked by saw 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your kids are grownups now and they know right from wrong. It is unreasonable for them to ask you to invite your ex to Thanksgiving Dinner especially without your current husband knowing or approving. Even if your current husband did approve of this situation it would still be the wrong thing to do. If the kids want to spend time with their dad then they should choose a different time and place to do so. This sounds like kids trying to put a kink in your relationship and they need to grow up and just let things be as they are now instead of trying to make things return to a past life. Tell your kids that you love them a lot and that they have every right to love their dad and want to be with him but that you have your rights too.
Good luck.
2007-11-19 16:30:12 · answer #1 · answered by Twilight 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No bad idea...because for the simple fact your husband will not be there. It will cause problems for you with your marriage. I would tell the kids that if your husband could be there then that would be different but that it would hurt his feelings by being left out. Your children are grown now and I'm sure if you are honest with them they can understand how spouses would feel about their husband'wife having dinner with their ex like they were still family. Try to put yourself in your husbands shoes for a sec....would you want him to have a Thanksgiving dinner with his children and his ex-wife ( wether he has one or not) on the very day you could not go? I think you'd be hurt...and then upset and confused about how he feels about you.
2007-11-19 16:23:23 · answer #2 · answered by just bored 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are uncomfortable then do not invite him. Let your children make arrangements to see him later in the day. Your ex will not feel comfortable or welcome if you don't really want him there, and it's not worth lying to your husband. Just be prepared for your kids to be upset... But if they are grown and you've been divorced for a while I'm sure they're used to it.
I do wonder how you would feel if your children chose to spend the day with him and exclude you. My parents have been divorced for twenty-eight years and I have always had to go back and forth on holidays...it SUCKS OUT LOUD. My sister started having the holidays at her place and inviting both my parents and their significant others, now it's up to them to be together on neutral ground and behave. Much better!
2007-11-19 16:22:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It depends on your ex. Is he a mature male that will behave himself. I don't see anything wrong with your four children havin dinner with their parents. Wait, grown children that's a different story. The only way I see you inviting your ex is if he has nobody to spend Thanksgiving with.
Your kids are grown, they are old enough to know that they may have to spend the holidays with one parent and not the other. People can give you this advice that doesn't seem realistic. You don't have to be best friends with your ex. You've remarried and you deserve to have a stress free Thanksgiving. And your husband is the one there for you now. Let him enjoy this time.
2007-11-19 16:16:10 · answer #4 · answered by Journey 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, your children have every right to want to spend Thanksgiving with their father, but if it makes you too uncomfortable having him in your home, then explain that to your children. You don't have the same relationship with him that your children do.
However, if you decide to have your ex for Thanksgiving, do not keep it from your husband. He has a right to know.
2007-11-19 16:15:27 · answer #5 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's best to tell him the truth, because honesty rules over keeping quiet about something that your husband needs to know anyday.
And if your husband disagrees, just tell your ex politely that your husband is uncomfortable being seen with you.
You children can probably see him on other occasions with bigger get-togethers.
I don't know how a 13 year old boy's advice can help, but it's worth a shot :D
2007-11-19 16:16:12 · answer #6 · answered by Martin 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I dont think it's a very good idea at all.....Coupled with your husband being out of town.
Since your eldest wants to invite your X, suggest that he/she invite him to HIS/HER place. You are absolutely correct in feeling uncomfortable. You are no longer 'the happy lil family'.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
2007-11-19 16:40:00 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm not a lawyer and would consequently recommend in the previous the rest to get one or locate out approximately a thank you to have a father or mom appointed. i comprehend in maximum cases, you will desire to stick to the visitation schedule yet you could petition to alter the visitation if the little ones are unhappy. the mum of my husband's 2 females is corresponding to this occasion and he or she even have been given to the element the place she wanted one and not the different so the courts now require she take the two, consult with the two, write the two, and so forth. or never by way of harmful impacts it has on the oldest. not something yet time and comprehend can pull your little ones via and you will desire to evaluate a transformation in the order if it keeps. KC
2016-10-02 01:36:25 · answer #8 · answered by sorgente 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummmmmmm hold it. Don't do anything like that without telling your husband. Second, its your house. Why the hell should you invite the ex? Tell the kids...the grown kids that they should have their father over to one of their houses on the day after Thanksgiving or perhaps he could have them over to his house.
2007-11-19 16:46:53 · answer #9 · answered by wife2denizmoi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's understandable that your children want to spend the holiday with their dad...and they probably think it's okay to have him there seeing as you've obviously moved on and re-married. If he does come to dinner, make sure your husband knows about it because if you don't, and he finds out you kept it from him, his reaction is probably going to be worse than if you tell him upfront. Yes, he gets jealous, but the one thing he needs to know is that you left this other man, that you have no feelings for your ex, that it's all because of your children, and that you're with him and could never imagine still being with your ex.
Also...it wouldn't be very nice of you to tell your children no, their dad can't come, simply because of how jealous your current husband gets, because they might feel you're putting their feelings second to your husbands, and despite how old your children are, they probably still feel you should put their feelings before anyone elses.
Good luck with whatever decision you make. :)
2007-11-19 16:20:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋