is this poem harsh or selfish?

Question

i dedicate this to all of my suitors.

let me be
let me become
let me join the wind
let me tell the story of how i reached the sun

dont try to hold my hand
dont attempt to take my breath away
dont stand in the way
close your lips
let me forget that you are near

for this soul has been floating around to find the questions
for my mind is settled on an unending adventure
my possibilities have been discovered
your attention is now only seen as futile

too late, i no longer feel alone
i am satisfied on my own
ive realized the truth of completing
the self before attempting to move out of it


let me be.... for i am free


....question is, have you ever felt the need to be single in your life, like you dont want anyone to be loving you romantically at a certain period of time, i dont know if there is something wrong in my head or im just afraid to love, what do you think of this poem

Answer 1

The German poet Rainer Maria Rilke considered the dynamic of young love to be problematic, believing the young individuals involved to be merely inchoate half-beings that have yet to experience the world in a meaningful way. What could such individuals offer each other in a relationship when each are themselves incomplete individuals?

So I don't believe it's an unreasonable sentiment to want to establish sovereignty over the self at certain stages of one's life. I often feel that too many people (especially young folk) try to define themselves in terms of their romantic relationships. Why define yourself so narrowly? What's the rush? Find out what it means to be you on your own, so you know better what you have to offer the world.

Learn to rock climb, play the oboe, take up knitting, become a wine and cheese connoisseur, get an entry in the Guinness Book of World Records, write a blog, run a marathon, see the Great Wall of China...ANYTHING that you can call your own that can never be taken away from you no matter what relationships you go through.

And frankly, the more personal achievements that you have to support your id/ego/superego, the more likely you'll find opportunities to meet the kind of people who share your interests. And by then, you can choose to be in a relationship because you want to be, not because you feel like you should be.

As to your poem, I think the voice of your poem establishes a very convincing tone of vindication in establishing a path of self-determination. This is reinforced by your emphatic list of imperatives, "don't try to hold my hand...."

However, as with many aspiring poets, your poem sometimes rely too much on abstraction versus providing vivid details.

For example, the line "...for my mind is settled on an unending adventure" (in fact that whole stanza) is a good example of generalized exposition. Why even mention the word "mind"? The fact that you are writing a poem on the specific theme that concerns you ALREADY demonstrates that you're in a process of reflection and expiation.

And "unending adventure" sounds at first grandiose, but it doesn't really say anything about your individuality (which is what the poem is supposed to be all about) as far what constitutes adventure for you as the poet. Lots of people want grand adventures, but what does that phrase mean to you?

For further inspiration, I recommend reading the poem "Her Kind" by Anne Sexton. It deals with a thematic issue similar to your own in that living in the 1950s, she felt oppressed by the expectations of what it meant to be a woman at that time. Her poem engaged in a figurative identification with the historical prosecution of women wrongfully accused of being witches (i.e., an intolerant society trying to "put a woman in her place") and is very powerful because of those specific, vivid details. There's even an audio recording of her reading it.

http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15297

Of course there a tons of poems out there you should read, but I thought this poem had relevance to what you are trying to do in your poem. Good luck to you and your muses!

Answer 2

The more succinct statement "Buzz off, I'm okay with myself" lacks the poetry, but says the same thing.

There's nothing wrong with self-sufficiency. I'm saddened that you still see a need to question your solid conclusions. The numbers add up, lass: two and two really is four. Human beings don't have to proceed in pairs. You can get by handsomely without a swain screwing up your adventure. The mystery seen by one is best pursued by just the one who sees it.

Not a bad poem, not a great poem, but a clear statement of intent. Good luck with it--but drop us a postcard now and then, okay?

Answer 3

I don't think it is harsh or selfish. I think it shows the personality of an independent and strong woman. Nothing wrong with that. And about not wanting to be in a relationship, that's normal. Sometimes you just want some you time. Not selfish, smart. Then when the time comes to be in a relationship you will be willing and ready.

Answer 4

Never felt the need to be single, sorry. I would like ot say though, that your poem is a great message to those women who feel the need to be by a mans side to let go and be their own person. It is a true story of indepence and confidence with yourself.

Keep writing :]

Answer 5

You say selfish like its a bad thing, humility is useless.
The "for"s in the 3rd stanza is arguablely badly placed and the poem has kind of an anti-climatic end compared to the powerful subject and matter-of-fact tone.
Subject is excellent.

Answer 6

Try being an only child and then getting married....Oh I freakin' know what "wishing to be single" is. Don't get me wrong, I love my wife but somedays I just need to be alone. Constantly being with someone can drive you nuts.