I have a three year old with my ex-husband. My husband is in the Marines. He is getting stationed in another state and my ex says he'll take to court and take custody of my son if I try to go. I have legal physical custody of him. His father has visitaion. He never comes and sees him anyways. Maybe once a month. can he do that? Will I be able to talk to the judge and tell him the situation and be able to take him with me?
2007-11-19 14:38:15 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My point is he never sees him as it is. When he does it is for a few minutes and he leaves him crying. It isnt going to be any different if i live here or i Move to another continent...he'll still not see him. He is suppost to see him every weekend but never does. He tells him he'll come but never shows and he cries for days about it. He's very smart he knows when his dad lies to him. I just tell him daddy is busy. My new husband is closer to him than his father.
2007-11-19 14:56:12 · update #1
If a visitation order is already in place then you should get a lawyer and file for a modification. If your ex doesn't agree to interstate visitation ( summers and every other holiday is usually the norm) then you can go to trial and the judge will work it out for you. But I don't think a judge can forbid you from moving out of state nor take your child from you for moving. If there is no custody order through the courts then you can move without your ex's permission. Also if you have to go to court make sure you document when he see's the child and when he blows off his visitation as the judge will look at that when making his decision. Good Luck.
2007-11-19 14:46:38 · answer #1 · answered by project_princess_2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The judge will decide in the best interest of the children. Not the best interest of the parents. Judges often believe that a child should have regular contact with both parents provided one is not fit. Move aways can be a dangerous thing. Depending on your state the custodial parent may be able to move without the other parents consent some states permission by the other parent may be required. Since there are no universal guidlines on this it often comes down to what the judge thinks is best. My advice: consult an attorney in your state. But think about this: Is the move in the best interest of the child. Children need fathers too, no matter how politically incorrect.
2007-11-19 14:45:46 · answer #2 · answered by Aaron S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget who's a bad guy in this situation. Just talk to a lawyer and find out what is possible and what is not. Your child's father may have visitation but he's sloppy and neglectful about using that right. That could change. In 5 years, he could be the ideal father to his son just because he matures some or gets his own life in order.
Your present husband can be the best guy in the world but your son will always know he has a biological father out there and he will want to know about him and feel shut out if he is kept from him. He and his Dad will have to work it out slowly and painfully together but it is his Dad. And your son is also the son of your ex.
As I said, a lawyer will tell you what is likely to happen. Just try not to take sides against your ex with your child now.
2007-11-19 15:05:22 · answer #3 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you should tell the judge you would like to move some where else because you think it would be a more stable environment for you and your child. All the courts care about are the safety of the children so you should be able to move with no problem. Many mothers move with there children from another state where the father does not live.
2007-11-19 14:44:44 · answer #4 · answered by Sammy B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes he can do this, u have to have permission of the court to remove this child from the state, and it dosent matter if your current husband is being stationed elsewhere as the court dosent care if a parent leaves the state but to take the child u need permission of the court, and it would be the same if it was your job that wanted u to move, whoever has physical and legal custody of the child has to ask permission to leave the state,
2007-11-19 14:45:54 · answer #5 · answered by Dale T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no. a 3 year old does not know when daddy is supposed to see him. a three year old does not know weeks or hours. you are transferring your own anger and your own problems onto this tiny, innocent baby. my strong advice to you if you do not YOURSELF want to hurt your baby is to not talk about this in front of the child. do not bring the father up to the child. fill up the hours and days with activities with the child, outdoor, play, happy, kindness, love. a 3 year old does not care or know when or where daddy is. does not ask constantly. this is you doing this. this deal where you say the child is crying for daddy is ridiculous and harmful, and you are doing it. cause, sweetie, you are the only parent the child sees. there is not a 3 year old on the planet who is going to just spontaneously cry for daddy unless MOMMY is making a big deal about it and discussing it in front of the 3 year old. 3 year olds cant read a calendar or tell time. a 3 year old should not have anything to think about except play, eat, sleep, and love. dont expose this innocent child to your drama. so just stop it already.!!!!!!!
2007-11-19 16:27:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with the previous answerer.
The only legal way, unfortunately, to resolve this issue is go before a judge and ask for modifications.
In the situation you're in, I would ask for full custody without a restriction on where you live, because if he moves, then he could legally demand you at least meet him 1/2 way for visits...and that's asking a lot.
2007-11-19 14:44:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can go with out any troubles. You have full custody and as long as you let the courts know what is going on and where you are going, and agree to meet half way on visits there should be no problems. And you must work out a schedule with your ex before you go to court.
2007-11-19 14:43:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
All you can do is talk to the judge.The father has the right to do that.Think about what the child wants and whats best for him, not for your marriage.The child didnt ask for all the crap the adults made for him.
This is what happens when people marry make kids divorce and remarry.
2007-11-19 14:42:21 · answer #9 · answered by Joe F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to do wants best for the child, talk to judge and move if that best for child life, do u think u can make a better life else were than do it, father is to busy to do any thing
2007-11-19 14:51:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋