Ok, I just moved into my girlfriends home. I also moved all my sons stuff. Now I did go thru alot of his toys and gave them to good will. He does not live with me, but comes to stay with me alot. Her daughter does not play with like him and never goes in her room. He loves to be in his room and play with his toys. Now my girlfriend just blow up on me saying I need to get ready of more toys since I asked for her daughter to get rid of some toys a month or so ago since she doesnt play with them. Am I wrong for keeping what he plays with? How would hand this? It got so bad my girlfriend said I will just leave when your son is in town...
2007-11-19
14:24:59
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21 answers
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asked by
duh.....
1
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wanted to add that this is the first fight we have been in over 2 years. She did calm down and said she was attacking me about the worng thing..
2007-11-19
22:42:20 ·
update #1
Kids need the security of familiar thing yet there needs to be a compromise. Larger rubber maid bins might be the answer decide what is a reasonable amount of bins for each child ,my two boys have the total of 4 bins my daughter has 2 bins.Art supplies and family games are in the hall cupboard.I find this keeps the mess under control and clean up is easier.Each bin is marked cars, logos,firefighter set,and sports/mis. My daughter's are Polly pockets and girl stuff.
2007-11-19 14:43:14
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answer #1
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answered by noteworthy5 3
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This has less to do with the kids than it does about change.
Now you can see why people talk about how kids can really come in the way of a relationship! But really, it doesn't have to. Hopefully, in time, they'll be sharing things, like art, but not until they're comfortable playing together, and the parents have things straightened out. How do the two of you plan to parent if you're bickering!
OK, g/f is nervous b/c you asked her dd to get rid of toys, to get rid of some clutter. You did the same with your son, as you will prob. still do when he gets there. Christmas is around the corner, after all!
Lovingly ask your g/f what's going on. Is she nervous? getting cold feet? Calm compromise is essential. So far you're moving in with her, not moving in together. Nothing is fair here for you and your son. You are two parents trying to look out for what's best for your children. You need to find a way for her to care about your son, or deal's off. (Don't put it that way to her unless she refuses to budge, though!) After all, caring about your son is part of caring about you! (Nobody wants a wicked step-mom!)
Your son doesn't look at it as a weekend retreat: he looks at it as HIS home when he is with his dad! He deserves to feel this is his home, too.
2007-11-19 14:30:24
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answer #2
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answered by Jen 4
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Your girlfrind is doing what most parents will do when they feel their child isnt being put first, she's getting defensive and acting out (much like a child) now this isnt to say she is rite. Now I am in a sitution where my husband's father has chosen his wife over his children many times and I have seen the pain that this can casue my husband. You need to nip this in the bud, if you realyl love this woman and want to have a relationship with her then you need to make sure she understands that your son comes first in your life. You have to put your child before any woman...well you dont have to but you should. Dont let her hurt your baby and always treat her daughter as an qual to your son nd if you do that then you ahve done nothing wrong. So to answer your question no you arnt wrong.
2007-11-19 14:34:23
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answer #3
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answered by smile2cute 3
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Dump the girlfriend. She has no right to tell you to get rid of toys your child plays with. She has no right to tell you how to do anything with your child. And she has double standards if she thinks you have to listen to her about your son and she doesn't have to listen to you about her daughter. Do you really want a future like this? Move on
2007-11-19 14:35:55
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answer #4
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answered by J M 4
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u just got there and already things are in the toilet, it sounds like a lot more is going on than just a small dispute over toys when she is willing to leave when your son is in town, your son needs more stability than this, time to be a man and get your own place and that way neither you or he are at the whim of someone else, and like i said there are more problems here than a disagreement over toys
2007-11-19 14:32:18
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answer #5
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answered by Dale T 4
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Best thing to do is move out and get a place of your own.You son is number 1 in your life not your g/f.
Unless you and her are on the same page when it comes to parenting then it'll be a big fight from now on.Especially if your daughter mistreats your son or she gives you a hard time.Your g/f will be saying "she aint yours and you aint disciplining her!"
Also you need to think about the example you and your g/f are setting for your kids.You want them shacking up when they are 15?
2007-11-19 14:30:32
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answer #6
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answered by Joe F 7
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She sounds like a crazy f*ing biotch! You only get to see your son on the wknds. so u should have some stuff there for him to play with so that he feels at home and is content! Does she think her daughter is better than your son? U need to re-evaluate this situation! You SON should and ALWAYS come first. (There's plenty of fish in the sea)
AMEN Jennifer W!!!!!
2007-11-19 14:33:25
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answer #7
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answered by Tabatha 4
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yes that is fine, esp if he plays with them. just explain to her that hey, she can keep every toy if she plays with it but if she doesn't then ask her to have her and her daughter sit down and pick some toys that she doesn't really want, maybe you and ur son can do the same. tell them that if they can get rid of 3 toys they can get a new toy. so they will be happy to get rid of 3 for the price of one new toy. compromise is the key! good luck!
2007-11-19 14:30:28
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answer #8
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answered by Smile 2
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Have a garage sale sell all the toys they don't play with and use the money to buy something you all will play like a board game,bikes, camping equipment or the likes good luck
If you let the children choose what to get rid of it will help.
2007-11-19 14:30:36
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answer #9
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answered by Jerry M 1
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WHY did you two move in together? This is insane! Leave when your son is in town? What a terrible thing to even say! Is she serious! She isn't even willing to try with your son, but she expects you to be there daily for her daughter? What's wrong with this picture!
2007-11-19 15:04:18
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answer #10
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answered by Steve 3
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