We were both into our 3rd month, everything looking up. We never really talked before and since we both got pregnant (her first, my second) we have been emailing a couple times a week. I heard that she had a miscarriage today from my dad... Should I write to her today or wait for her to announce it. What kind of thing can I say to her?? THanks for any help!
2007-11-19 13:33:49 · 16 answers · asked by Mommyof3 BGB 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
If you two have been in touch recently, it might hurt her feelings if you avoid her. Try sending her an ecard (sympathy card) just to let her know you're thinking of her. Don't be hurt if she doesn't respond for a while. It might be very hard for her to deal with pregnant women and babies for a while.
2007-11-19 14:00:02 · answer #1 · answered by Little Red Hen 2.0 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should probably approach her in a private, yet personal way. I'm not very experienced with these types of situations but I would suggest maybe a phone call before she announces it, as she may not say anything because of embarrassment, which would make things akward for you especially. Since you both seemed to have developed a relationship, it would probably be better if you talk to her as soon as possible since she is a very rough time in her life right now. Whichever way you choose, good luck! I hope that things go smoothly and you can help her get through this!
2007-11-19 13:39:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First i'm sorry for her i ahve been thru one and it's not easy you have all these plans, however that isn't your fault. Something was obviously wrong or her body wouldn't have miscarried. She cannot blame you i realize she may have a hard time facing you with you being ok and it may be hard but all you can do is support her. I would wait for her to contact you and let you tell her what happened. Give her a little time she can try again. Just tell ehr if she needs to talk your there don't push yourself on her and realize also that she may have a hard time being around you for a while she may look at you and only think of what she's lost but her life will go on and she will have to just take her time with it. All you can do is be there and don't be hurt to much if she dosen't want you around for a little while.
Good Luck
2007-11-19 13:40:36 · answer #3 · answered by life as we know it 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your Dad wasn't under instruction to keep it quiet then I think it would be fine to email her now. I would probably avoid cliches such as "I am so sorry for your loss" etc and just be honest. Tell her that you are there for her if she wants to speak about it but that you understand if she doesn't want to talk to you right now. People react differently to miscarriages... some want to talk and have people acknowledge that their baby was a little person...they may even like to have a little ceremony or something. Others just want to move on. Maybe you could ask her if she would rather that nobody mentioned it to her so you know whether she just wants to forget about it (but be careful of how you word it as you don't want it to come across as though you think she should just forget about it).
2007-11-19 13:44:21 · answer #4 · answered by ஜBECஜ ~Mama to Lucy & bump~ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through something simular, my sister-in-law, had a still born, then about a month later I had a baby, it was very hard on everyone, but I feel you should maybe wait, but for only a day or two, then approach it in a way, that you have been doing nothing but thinking of her, and ask if there is anything you could do for her to ease the pain she must be going through.
2007-11-19 13:39:23 · answer #5 · answered by Debbie W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is probably still in pain so let her bring it up when she is ready from what it sounds like ya'll arent all that close. Let her husband, parents, siblings etc. deal with it. Then once she is in the healing process if she wants to talk about it then talk to her about it but only if she brings it up!
you can email her to say your sorry for this tradegic accident or something but other than that I'd wait for her.
2007-11-19 13:38:48 · answer #6 · answered by RCPD Expl. Captain Beckner 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh gosh this is going to be a touchy issue. I would definitely wait until she says something, then just say, yes, I heard, I'm so sorry for your loss. Try not to talk about your pregnancy too much around her, or the new baby when it comes, I know it will be hard, and you have every right to still be happy about your baby, but just try to be gentle around her for a while.
2007-11-19 13:38:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would depend on whether the two of
you have formed a bond through the
contact that has been made.
What a traumatic loss for her. Maybe
she needs someone with a compassionate
heart and a listening ear to work through the inevitable
pain she'll encounter.
Good luck and health in your pregnancy.
2007-11-19 13:39:01 · answer #8 · answered by So Cal Homie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for her and listen. She won't hold against you that you are still pregnant. I know a girl who loves to death her husband's brother's baby, even though the baby was due at the same time as her baby that she also lost. Maybe send her card or flowers, or just call and tell her you are there for her. Best of luck.
2007-11-19 13:37:37 · answer #9 · answered by boncarles 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi me and my siter was pregnant at the same time she lost her also in her 3rd month and im due for my baby in 14 wks time!! thats all you can do is be there 4 her its hard as ure happy that u are but sad for her pain.i would write to her definately as ur cousin and just tell her ure there if she needs u whenever just say sorry thats all u can say!!!!! i feel 4 u and ure cousin.goodluck
2007-11-20 02:02:57 · answer #10 · answered by missyfastandfurious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋