Is a man who kisses other men while married to a woman still considered bisexual or on the down low?

Question

I've been married since April. My husband before we were married had been known to make out with other girls while we were together I found out about it later but he promised that since we were married that would no longer happen because he believes in the commitment of marriage. To my knowledge he obided by that until recently. I found out this past Friday that a week before that he made out with someone else and not just anyone else but his best friend A MAN!!! As the woman he's with I consider this a complete discrase and embarressment. Not to mention that he did this knowing that I'm pregnant and hard at work to support his jobless butt. He's dated men before (never had sex with them but done other sexual things) and the man he kisses he used to date. But he's been swearing to me for almost a year that he's straight!! When I confronted him about it he claimed that it was because of the alchohol. But I know for a fact that alchohol only brings out your desires not changes them.

I finally told him about this and he finally confessed that he had lingering feelings for this GUY!!! And that he's been lying to me for over a year and a half. He at first claimed that even though he had feelings for a man he wasn't bisexual after talking to him more he finally confessed that he was. He's not claiming that kissing this guy some how magically made his feelings that he's been harboring for this guy for years disappear and also has magically made him straight somehow. What are your opinions on this. Please mature individuals only!!! He also mentioned there was no tongue but he said made out becuase that's how he defines any kiss longer than a minut long. Any answers to what you think is going on here would be very helpful to me. I will tolerate a lot but I REFUSE to be married to a man who has desires for other men!!!

Answer 1

I am truly sorry that you are in this situation, it seems to me that your husband was denying these feelings that he had concerning the same sex. The problem that this denial represents, is that it lured you an innocent bystander into this mix up betrayal. Some men think that by going through the motions of marriage and having children that they can cure themselves and become straight. It doesn't work like that, then they think that if they can lead a double life unbeknowest to anyone, that they can actually get away with it. You have a lot of deciding to do, trust him and hope this situation will resolve itself or be disappointed and hurt in the long run. Time is the answer and only time will tell if this man is truly being honest about his feelings toward you and his unborn child. Maybe you could separate for a while to give him a chance to discover himself and find out what he really wants. My prayers goes out to you and this betrayal that has been bestowed up on you.

Answer 2

WHAT MAKES U THINK HE HASNT HAD SEX WITH THESE MEN CAUSE HE SAID SO LOL. you are playing not only with your health and life but your babies also, RUN DONT WALK to your ob tell him your husbands behavior and get tested and dont let him touch u again unless he wears a condom, and ask your dr if u can use a spermacide with nonoxydol-9 in it as this is supposed to help kill the aids virus,in case the condom fails, and dont believe what he says about not having sex with these men u have too much riding on this to depend on his honesty, KICK HIS JOBLESS WORTHLESS LYING BYSEXUAL BUTT OUT NOW, DONT WAIT UNTIL LATER, at this point in your marriage he should be on his best behavior, and furthermore all the signs were there before u got married, THIS WILL NOT GET BETTER ONLY WORSE, and u cant FIX HIM, get out now u are not qualifited to treat a bysexual alcholic, and that is what he is dont let him snow u any longer, please for your sake and your childs sake. being bysexual does not mean he cant be a good parent he can be, but being an alcholic does mean he cant be a good parent and he needs treatment for that too. the defination of being an alcholic is that it is affecting your daily life and or relationships and u keep doing it. the only difference between being bysexual and being on the down low is that being on the down low means u are keeping it a secret to the people that count, and if u are supporting him now that wont change either. RUN RUN RUN. BEFORE U WASTE ANY MORE OF YOUR LIFE ON HIM. sexual orientation is not a choice, and if u stay u will be dealing with this until either u have had enough, or he decides to leave u for a man, make the break and try to stay of decent enough terms to be good parents for your child

Answer 3

He is not straight! He is bisexual but that isn't even the point here. He cheated on you and then lied about it.
You need to be honest to yourself can you trust him after this? Do you want to continue like you've been?
He needs to get off his lazy A ss and get a job and he needs to be honest with himself does he want to be married? Or is he going to keep desiring other relationships? He can't have it all either he is faith full to you or he leaves period. No kissing no touching no men!
Alcohol is not an excuse he put himself into the situation. He knew he had feeling for this person. He needs to take responsibility for his actions. He is the only one that controls what he does. If alcohol is that much in control of his actions then he has a serious problem and needs to go get help asap. But somehow I really don't think that is the issue.

Answer 4

What do you mean you refuse to be married to a man who desires after other men. I hate to break the news to you but you are married to a man like that and has always been a gay man. Who kisses with their mouth closed now a days no one i know, and you can bet your life that he gave that man one big juicy wet kiss tongue and all.
It's understandable that you are in a state of shock and denial and to be pregnant on top of all this turmoil is a damn shame.This should be the happiest time of your life, and for your husband to be playing around is selfish and very mean.Your marriage has no chance in hell of working now, not unless you are willing to share him with others. Your not the first woman to get taken in by a gay man and you won't be the last.
Sorry;

Answer 5

I wish I knew how old you were. If both of you are still young, then he just might be trying to figure things out for his self. The bad news to that, if he has to make out with a guy to decide his sexuality, then guess what, he is bi or guy. Straight men do not have to do that. We have no desires to do that (alcohol/drugs or not). Furthermore, you said this other guy was an ex-boyfriend. Ding ding ding ding, red flag, whoop whoop, look out. Honey, if he has had a boyfriend, then you already know the answer to your own question. As long as he is "strapped" to you, he will find extra marital, "male" companionship. I wish I could tell you differently, considering you are pregnant, but I can't. Thankfully, you are the one with the job, and you will survive with out him eating up the groceries you are buying, the rent you are paying, the electricity, etc. etc. You have a long hard road before you, look to the heavens, and pray to God for strength, and guidance. God Bless

Answer 6

I think the best thing you can do is pack your stuff up and move far far away from this man. I cannot believe that while you are pregnant he is sitting on his lazy butt day dreaming about men while you are working! That is crazy and I think its a bit of an insight as to what kind of person your husband really is! I know that this must really hurt but you have to think about yourself and your baby. Do you want to come home oneday to find that he has left you to live with his boyfriend.... You are so much better than that and your baby deserves better too...

Answer 7

Yes, you're husband is bisexual. If he wasn't, he would NOT be interesting in kissing any other male regardless of intoxication.
You should not be with this man! He's hurt you before and is only hurting you and embarrasing you more then ever. Other then that, it's dangerous that he could be sleeping around with men, it's more common for homosexual males to be carries of HIV & AIDS.
It's time to leave this man and get tested to make sure you don't have anything at all, no STD's.

Answer 8

Your husband is not bisexual, he is GAY and hiding in a relationship with you so he doesnt come out of the closet. Alot of gay men don't like to admit they are and even marry and have kids and live a secret life. From what you described your hub is gay and has been for awhile. I personally could not be with no man who ever messed with another man cuz that is gross.

Answer 9

Listen very carefully. Seriously, are you ready?
YOU ARE MARRIED TO A GAY MAN. If it makes you feel any better, this type situation happens more than you think. You really seem unwilling to accept what would be pretty obvious to most. It's not your fault but you have to get past the denial, especially since you were having unprotected sex with this man. Please be careful.

Answer 10

WOW!!!! ummm...cheating is what is would call it!! Wether he is kissing a woman or man, he is still cheating!!! I agree, alcohohol only makes you less afriad of what you want to do. make you bold and uncaring of what you do!! if he is doing this bisexual thing then he might not be ast STRAIGHT as he swears he is!!!!j i would do some long hard thinking if i were you!! and make a decesion before the baby is born!!