my wife cheated on me and she wants a divorce but i want to work it out what should i do?

Question

she said i made her feel invisible i dont know how i did that

Answer 1

I have to say bro it's time for you to move on. I know it's hard, but some times it's for the best.

Answer 2

I guess the question is does she want to work it out? She is the one that wants the Divorce.Saying you make her feel invisible could be just an excuse she is using for cheating, but I can't say for sure, but you never know. How long have you both been married?? That could be the reason why she feels this way. She just happen to come across someone who gave her attention, but what happens when she divorces you and gets together with him for a few years and the same thing happens where he dosen't give her the same attention he did when they first met. I don't think she is thinking about the future, she is just living in the moment and whatever happens happens. Give her the divorce if that is what she wants, but I'll bet she'll regret it in a few years!!

Answer 3

If this is what she wants and there is no way to change her mind, then you should move on too, and end things as friends rather than fighting for years about it. It's would be hard but it would be best. If she loves someone else, she won't feel the same towards you ever even if she decided to stay with you, you won't have the same love again!

And...Men don't all cheat to be powerful! I have 2 friends who cheated and then ended up divorcing their wifes. It was because their wifes just wouldn't put out at all! No sex unless the wifes wanted to! And according to my friends it was 3 or 4 times a year! So The women can be very much asking for it too!!!

Answer 4

You can't make her stay. If she wants to go - let her leave.

If she does not want to work it out .. and she wants a divorce .. your offer to work it out - may be too little, too late.

Or .. since she cheated on you .. she may want to be with the other guy. And .. her invisible feeling may be just a reason, or an excuse.

However, the invisible thing, is an age-old problem between men & women.

No one knows the real reason, but her.

Many women feel invisible because the husband ignores them, and the husband does not pay attention to them, and does not relate to what the wife tries to tell them. The wife's words just goes into thin air -- unheard by the husband. The woman begins to feel unimportant .. and as time goes on, the woman begins to feel less and less important, less loved, and she feels so much taken for granted .. kinda like she was not even there .. thus. invisible. The woman even sometimes to feel like she has lost herself to her mate who does not seem to know she exists. The woman usually does not get her husband's attention .. no matter how hard she tries.

The man usually just does not get it. The woman usually gets the husband's attention when she has her bags packed, going out the door. Then the husband usually wonders .. what is wrong with her.

You could express your love .. tell her you want her to stay .. and that you want to work it out with her. The choice would be hers.

She cheated on you .. which is BIG. So .. she has room to straighten up .. and definetly plenty to work on. It seems that you have forgiven her - since you still want to work it out after she cheated on you. That tells that you really want to save your marriage to her.

Confess your love .. give your heart to her again. Do is sweetly, and sincerely.

If she still walks out the door .. then it is because that is what she wants.

Answer 5

The question should be... she cheated on you, but she doesn't want a divorce; what should you do?

But she not only cheated, she doesn't want to stay married, either. People either want to stay married or not. All the excuses and hurt feelings don't change that. Makes it hard to deal with, but doesn't change the intent.

My personal opinion is that she has already decided she wants a divorce and all the rest of it is just excuses to ease her conscience by blaming you for it. If the way you 'treated' her was really the issue, she would have dealt with it differently long before this.

I don't give you much hope. It takes two people to get married and it takes two people to stay married.

Answer 6

Wow, it sounds like she has her mind made up and is going to use any excuse or reason to justify it. It is not your fault she went outside of your marriage, she made that decision on her own. Unfortunately if she is determined to leave, she probably will. Ask her again to seek counseling or get help with your marriage since she did make a vow in front of God to love you forever forsaking all others...to do otherwise is to be a liar. (I am not talking about cases involving abuse, addiction or adultery in which the person cheated on wants out) Good luck guy...sorry for your situation, but you can and will get through this. Church is always a good place to find support.

Answer 7

No matter what people on here tell u u have to talk to here about this get it streight from the horses mouth as the saying goes shes the only one that can answer that question 4 u and see if u can work things out mabe sugest a marrige counsler then if she still wants a devorice no matter what u say or do (some times a woman needs to see that her mans willing to change 4 her if u love her set her free if it she comes back it was ment to b )if not then move on

Answer 8

You need to do whatever you can to make your relationship work so you don't look back 5 years from now thinking, "I wish I'd tried harder." Sit down and talk to her to find out why she feels invisible to you. It sounds as though you didn't pay her enough attention. Maybe you didn't remind her enough how much she meant to you, or give her enough affection. Not saying its your fault.. she may have simply lost feelings for you. If she's set on divorce, there isn't a whole lot you can do unless she's willing to see a marriage counselor with you or work it out on your own terms. Good luck!

Answer 9

She is doing this because there is something missing from the relationship. Even if she comes back to you, she will always be searching for whatever that is and she will definately cheat again.

She probably does love you and is sorry it came to this but she felt she had to move on. She will probably end up cheating on the next guy so count yourself lucky.

I'm sure you can find a lovely lady to take her place, someone who treats you with respect.

Answer 10

marriage is serious and she obviously broke her vows, but if you want to work it out I would talk to her. I would ask her what made her feel that way and why did she cheat. My husband cheated on me as well and I wanted to work things out and I thought things were hopeless but we are trying to work through everything. Suggest counseling maybe. If she doesn't want to work things out or talk then I would just let her go and that just means there is somebody else out there for you who is better.

Answer 11

Tyler, I did the exact same thing to my husband so let me help you out here. See my husband did the flowers, candy, bubble baths, romantic get aways, he did it all. But he also hurt me emotionaly. The brick wall with metal bars that my ex built, my husband brought down and rebuilt it stronger. He made me feel like every thing I did was wrong, he made me feel like it was his way or no way, he made me feel like I was nothing and he was everything. What happend with us is after we got married only two weeks after I found pictures of "himself" e-mailed to an other girl. Had I found them before we got married we wouldnt be now. Then I cought him texting another girl. So I got my revenge and I cheated on him. No two wrongs dont make a right but he put the emotional dammage on my heart. I fell out of love with him but he despratly wants to work it out. and too when I wanted to see a marriage counsler, he said to me "I refuse to let someone tell me how to run my marriage what do they know" when I wanted to go to start going church, he said; " I dont want to go because that is what is expected of me" now all the tries that I attempted to save our marriage, he wants to try them. Here is my e-mail address. Maybe you can help me from a guys point of view and i can help you. [e-mail] you can also see who we are on my space just look up the same e-mail address. we are now seperated and a small amount of me wants to make it work but at the same time i am affrad things will change for a while and then go back to the same why of him being "boss" My birthday gift to him before we split up, I am taking him to go watch dallas play thanksgiving day.