My best friend really upset me today....(pls give your opinion)?

Question

Basically I have recently gained quite a bit of weight (mainly due to an accident I had 4 months ago which left me depressed and trapped at home most days, the gym was a no go area). I was a comfortable UK size 12/14 which I was happy with. I am not happy with the weight I have put on.

Well my best friend who is 29yrs old (I am 22) knows I am unhappy and knows I have been dieting and getting back to exercise now that I have recovered. What has upset me is the fact that she is always calling me fat even before I put on the weight, pointing out my weight gain, and doing it in public very loudly, this evening I was with her for 1hr and she called me fat about 7 times, I had a go at her and she just said 'but u are fat' so we sat in silence all the way home.

I am feeling really bad, both about the weight and the fact that my best friend is calling me names that I haven't heard since I was in school. And don't know what to do about either.

HELP!!!!!!!

Answer 1

Your "friend" is obviously an insecure, jealous person. She seems to take pleasure in you having endured this misfortune. I would tell her that her behavior is hurtful and unsupportive, and that you don't need negative people like her in your life right now or ever. It sounds to me like she wants to keep you down and is secretly glad about the weight gain, and perhaps she has some issues with the fact that she is older (and clearly not attractive, at least on the inside). With a "friend" like that, who needs an enemy? Move on - it will be better for YOU in the long run. :)

Answer 2

How about telling her? Delivery is the key here. Just invite her for coffee of something. Tell her you really want to talk to her and then when you sit down, start it off by explaining that you want to talk about something because it's bothering you and since you love her and value her friendship, you dont want anything to get between the two of you. Then just say that sometimes you feel that she is critical of the choices you make and that you would really appreciate her being supportive instead of negative. If you approach it from a loving place, then you'll be fine. And if she is pissed off about it, then you know what? Maybe she really isn't the kind of friend you want in your life anyway. Negativity breeds negativity. I learned that the hard way. Get it out of your life. You will be amazed at what you can do if you surround yourself with positive people. Hey, you might even send your post to her? Ha. Good luck

Answer 3

First of all, to stay on the right path in life always follow this rule: cut the dead weight. If someone makes us feel less of a person weather it be with friends or in relationships, then those types of people do not deserve to be in our lives. Have you had a talk with your so called best friend about this and that it is really tearing you apart? That what you really need is someone who is going to support you through your hard time instead of make you feel worse about yourself? Let her know that her behavior is unacceptable and offensive and that if she continues you are going to cut the ties with her. AND STICK to it. If she still does the same thing, get rid of her. Don't return her phone calls, emails, don't talk to her anymore. She is really not your friend in the first place if she treats you like that. Easier said than done, but I hope if things do not change that you really will cut the dead weight. You need positive influences in your life right now, not some jerk bringing you back down. Good luck!

Answer 4

wow, that's harsh. remember what friends are for. they are there to make you feel good about your self when the time is needed. they are not there to make us feel bad about our selves.

it's hard to understand why a friend (knowing that you got into a accident) that caused you to be inactive, which then made you depressed. will freely add to your depression by calling you fat.

i don't know why she is doing this. actually i have a few idea's but listen. you did what you had to do which is to confront her.

so what i would do. is sit her down. tell her what you told us. that you have been through a lot. i'm doing the best i can at my own pase. tell her that this is my body and essentilly it is my business on what i do with it. if you can't be supportive of me. if you just want to put me down then i think that we should take a break from each other. coz you are really putting me down and it hurts.

if she really likes you and you don't take her phone calls for a week i promise she will straighten up her act.

if you don't do anything she will continue to do what she is doing. then your relaionship will end for sure.

good luck.

Answer 5

She may be a friend, but I wouldn't consider her a best friend as you are correct that she doesn't deserve this title. Personally I would distance myself from this person as she is dragging you down. A best friend don't drag you down but gives you encouragement and lifts you up. She's supposed to be someone you can trust with your feelings, but she's not too concerned about how you feel. You need to surround yourself with people who want you to be happy no matter what you weight. I have always been a 12/14 and have always been happy with myself. I have had friends in a size 3, but never not once did they call me fat. We all respected eachother and our feelings. I would continue to talk to your friend but I would treat her accordingly. She has taught you that you can't trust her with your feelings. She has showed you that she don't care how you feel and that what she says and thinks is right. So now you know to not share anything too important. You know not to depend on her to lift your spirits. You know that she isn't a good friend for you. So keep all this in the back of your mind and be aware for yourself. Don't allow her words to hurt you as she is a shallow person. She don't deserve such a good friend as she don't know how to be a good friend. Good Luck & God Bless!

Answer 6

This girl really isn't your friend because if she was she wouldn't be so hurtful and cruel.You've already told her i'm sure that this is hurting your feelings and the friendshipe you have with her(if you haven't then you should tell as soon as possible).If she still doesn't understand what you are sayin,cut her off as a friend.You would probably feel a whole lot better and be better off,you need someone to support you and make you feel great about yourself.Not bring you down and make you feel horrible about yourself.let this girl go, and know that you are a great person inside and out.The only weight you need to lose is this girl who calls herself your friend.Because the problem is not you its her.feel better and i hope you reach your goals.Goodluck.

Answer 7

I wouldn't call that a friend. Your friend must be very depressed and is upset that you are recovering and able to get back in shape. I would stop be friends immediately with that person.
A friend is someone that is there for you when you need support and understanding. Someone to tell you its okay and will get better. NOT someone that points and calls names.
Your better off with out that person.

Answer 8

Your friend's attitude sounds very immature, and cruel. Sad to say, I don't think a friend should be that critical, even if she sees you as fat, she should have empathy for your situation, and provide encouragement. I think you are able to evaluate her behavior based on how she makes you feel, and you know what the answer is.

Answer 9

Are you sure she's a best friend. A best friend mite talk to you in private not in public, and not loud. She would be considerate of your feeling. It doesn't s sound like she is. Don't feel bad. She maybe older but she acting like she's younger.

Answer 10

This person that you call your best friend , she seems like she is a bit jealous of you or maybe she is just insecure and does not want you to get into shape. you know what they say misery loves company. I hope that you get this problem figured our, but do not let her stand in the way of you getting back to your desired weight.