I'm a teacher at a middle school in NJ. I love my job very much and I have a very close bond with all my students. While away, I give them my email to send projects to me.
Well, Today I checked my email & along with her essay One of students wrote to me saying that she thought she was pregnant.
She is fourteen years old and a great girl She makes straight As and is VP of the middle school. I was shocked when she told me.
I want to try to talk to her, but I'm not sure what so say. She's horrified her parents will kick her out, since her dad is a priest at the local church.
She made a mistake & I want to be able to discuss her situation with her. but I don't know what to say.
It's hard to look at her. but, I want to be there for her. What can I possibly say under these circumstances?
2007-11-19 12:05:35 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
as a fourteen year old girl. i know how hard it must be for her. all YOU can offer as a teacher is guidance and support, tell her to tell her family as soon as possible. to get that part over with, considering her father is a priest they probably will not have an adoption therefore she needs to realize she may become a mother sooon. but try to avoid scolding her, she KNOWS what she has done is wrong and she will hear it from her parents. she came to you for support, its important for her that you give her just that.
2007-11-19 12:12:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I disagree with the people who believe you should tell her parents. By e-mailing you, she's putting her trust in YOU, not her parents. You should respect that trust, but you should also ENCOURAGE her to tell her parents.
Whether or not she decides to tell them about her pregnancy, you should direct her towards a health clinic to make sure she's healthy, mentally and physically. She needs a pregnancy test to make sure she's actually pregnant. Ask her what her symptoms are. If she's just missed a period, tell her that htere are many factors that can lead to a late period, such as stress and a diet too low in fat.
However, if she is actually pregnant, she should know that there are many options from which she can choose. She can choose to have the baby and keep it, or give it up for adoption. Abortion is also an option. While her parents may not like the idea of aborting, it is ultimately her body and she must decide for herself whether or not she wants the baby.
Reassure her that while having a baby will make her life a lot harder, she can still achieve anything she wants if she puts in the right amount of effort. Tell her that whatever she decides, she can talk to you about it and you'll support her decision.
A visit to an agency such as Planned Parenthood is also a good idea. They can give her all of the information she needs, as well as social and emotional support, during the pregnancy and after.
2007-11-19 12:38:09 · answer #2 · answered by akatd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are a female teacher. Ask her to give you a call. Then ask her if she would like for you to sit in with her when she tell her parents. Are suggest to her to make sure she is pregnant first and for her not to panic. But most of all she must tell her parents as soon as she is sure. Otherwise please don't get involved. Other than suggesting the above to her. Stay out of it. The parents will be very upset with you. If the child doesn't tell them. You just may have to if you know them personally. It's one of those things that's sometimes it's not best to know. Are better yet. Tell the child you care for her. But you can't get involved. And be very careful what you put in mail to this child. You do not want it to come back and haunt you. Do you see all the choices. You have to use wisdom in this one. You are in a very awkward position. And if you are a male teacher don't bother about answering the mail not once..
2007-11-19 12:24:47 · answer #3 · answered by MS Williams 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Theres a case where i live where a teacher gave her student her email address because he wanted to talk to her about a relationship problem. The student denied this accusation but the teacher is getting charged. I find this very unfair because in some cases teachers are one of the only people kids find comfortable talking to. Just saying be careful. I think you should ask her to stay after class and urg her to speak with her parents.
2007-11-19 12:21:29 · answer #4 · answered by <3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i got pregnant at 15 and my son is now 10. I have a masters and I am working toward my doctorate. so, i would first say her life is far from over. It funny because the first person i told was my teacher. She really need only listen. Her only advice was I tell my parents. The thing was I was way too scared, so weeks drug on. Basically, she told me if I didn't tell my parents by the end weekend, this particular weekend, she would. I thought she was cruel at first then realized my window of open options was closing in. Not that she needs to abort but she needs to be aware of her choices. To summarize, you should listen, don't be all gloom and doom, make sure by all means her parents know... soon.
2007-11-19 12:16:35 · answer #5 · answered by kwali 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You could start off by asking her when it is due. Her Father should show some Christian charity. Ask her if she has a place to go and that you will talk with her parents. It's not the end of the world, it's the start of a new life. Treat it as a normal event. I have had this in my family and just love the grandchild.
2007-11-19 12:19:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my friend Chels had this happen to her last year when she was thirteen, except her mom was a suporter and she was raped by her brother.... I know that during that time my one teacher helped her out a lot, became more of a friend then a teacher, she just took her out of lunch about half way through and talked to her about things and tryed to help her through it. after about a month she was convinced into telling her parents and the rumor slowly leaked through the school. but she always knew she had that one teacher to count on that would be there for her, the best thing you can do is let her know you are there and be willing to discusss anything with her, even have her and some of her close friends ome and talk to you, or keep that email adress and have her talk via email, but she will apriciate it and stick with the baby, you can become this girls best friend just make sure she knows your there
2007-11-19 12:21:27 · answer #7 · answered by Secret 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would sit down with your school counselor and principal, figure out the best course of action, and then proceed. The situation is already emotional enough as it is, and you don't want to make things worse. Obviously the parents need to know, but she also needs a professional to talk to her. Before you do anything, she needs to find out for sure whether she's pregnent or not. Otherwise, it'll make you and the school look really bad.
2007-11-19 12:11:55 · answer #8 · answered by dg2003 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Just let her know that you are always there for her, you could say something like "I am sure this is not what you had planned." Encourage her to talk to her parents before she makes another mistake she regrets. Let her know that you care . Support and advise her the best you could.
2007-11-19 12:16:43 · answer #9 · answered by Paciência 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her how, but definitely try to avoid the specific details...for your sake & hers.
After listening, ask her if she would abort/keep the baby or what the situation is with her boyfriend/baby's father/random guy...
Mention the option of telling her parents last & depending upon what she says, always try to argue in favor of having her parents in on her condition. Remind her she has no way to support herself & her parents won't kick her out (Christians are supposed to be forgiving).
2007-11-19 12:11:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋