I have been married to my husband for about 4 months now and he is a bit emotionally unstable. when we married he was a virgin and our honeymoon we freaked out and didnt want to have sex and said he be fine if i have sex with another man and get pregnant cause he will take care of that child, but now since i am beginning to show he decided to file for divorce and also decided he wouldnt care for the child he is saying that i had an affair, but he said it was ok to have sex with another man on our honey and he is now turning the tables what can i do? i dont want to lose?
*need more answers*
2007-11-19 11:26:49 · 16 answers · asked by Hi T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hello!! Anyone up there? You had sex with another man! You should have showed him how o have sex or never married him in the first place. Find the other man and, tell him your carrying his child and get child support from him. Your husband has a right to leave sorry....
2007-11-19 11:32:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well seeing what situation you are in, im going to say the majority falls on you, not to say its completely your fault, its definately part of his but Id say it lays more firmly on you. you should have known he is emotionally unstable before you married him and not to say there is something wrong with marrying people like that cause they can be great people, for example my friend is married to a man who is also unstable he used to throw such violent fits over nothing, but she just would grab him and hug him tightly after seeing a therapist and medicine he is a really gentle and loving person, his fits were only cravings for attention (immature childish perhaps but there is more to the story) you should have been more respectful to your husband, he is a virgin after all and you simply took advantage of him during his "episode" you should have instead waited and showed him love. instead you showed how unloving you are. there are so many choices you could have took if things persisted of him being afraid of sex. you could have adopted a child (we need to give these kids good homes), you could have had him put the sperm into you so the child was yours, counseling, therapy, seducing him, toys for yourself. you didnt and now you have a child. you have no prove he allowed you thus it will be seen as an affair, he will not be obligated to pay you a cent, most likely you will even lose part of your assests. sorry
to add you had an affair on your honeymoon if he brings that up the judge will completely disgusted it will only bring you more problems.
2007-11-19 19:27:58 · answer #2 · answered by DJ M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I can say this is the first time I have ever heard something like this. but I do think the guy you married has some kind of problems. why did he get married, in the first place? and not wanting to have sex with you? is he gay? but if you get a divorce. the best thing to do is explain to the lawyer what he told you to do. just explain it to him the same way you wrote your question. I do think a Lawyer can help you with this. for it was your husbands decision for you to do this, so he can have children. doesn't you husband, know when this comes out will make him look so stupid, also people as I. I am still trying to grasp the thought, if he is not Gay? then I just can't understand what is wrong with him. but he has some kind of bad problems.
2007-11-20 01:48:26 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you have larger issues than him divorcing you. I don't give a duck's butt if my husband did say that crap to me. I WOULD HAVE NEVER TAKEN HIM UP ON IT. He said it on your honeymoon and you guys did not consummate the marriage. You could have and should have gotten an annulment, but you didn't and here you are in this screwed up scenario. This is insane. You made your bed so you lie in it.
The only thing in your favor is this. In most states a grounds for divorce can be withholding sex from the beginning of the marriage. Also adultery is obviously grounds for a divorce, but if the spouse forgives the cheating spouse then they can't use the affair as grounds for filing divorce. You can beat him to the punch and file for divorce on the grounds of him refusing you sex and fraud. That is the only thing I can tell you. Wow, some sh*t in this world still shocks me & this question was one of them.
2007-11-19 19:40:31 · answer #4 · answered by whatshername 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never have cheated, (regardless of whether or not he gave you the permission, you still had sex with another man) he has every right to leave you, did you ever think maybe he was testing you?? I don't mean to sound rude, but i mean you should have thought about all this before you did any of that.....all i can say, is like a few others stated find the guy you are prego with, and tell him, demand child support (if you have proof it is his) and get his child support, you never should have married him, when you knew he was unstable, and then to do that,
2007-11-19 19:38:35 · answer #5 · answered by tiffany w 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What don't you want to lose? It does not sound like this marriage was ever viable. Your husband will be presumed to be the father of the child, despite this odd situation, but maybe you do not want to have this man involved with your child as a parent. He sounds like a nut. Who is the real father? I would let him know what is going on. Perhaps he will want to be involved with his child. In any event, you are going to have to talk to an attorney to get this straightened out.
2007-11-19 19:39:43 · answer #6 · answered by Barbara K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had sex with another man after only 4 months? You are nuts girl. You should have seduced your husband until he was comfortable enuff to have sex with you. I don't blame him for wanting a divorce.
2007-11-19 19:45:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not judging you as the others are.
There's basically nothing you can do. You did what he said was okay, maybe he said it just to test you (men can be sneaky).
You will have to divorce him now. You don't want to lose? Girl, you lost since you cheated on your husband; with or without his consent, you still broke your vows.
Good luck.
2007-11-20 00:44:50 · answer #8 · answered by Rosie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dam you F***ed that one up lady he was a testing your *** he didn't mean it
Find the baby's daddy hes the one that should be helping you to look after the baby and by the way why would you married some one then sleep with some one Else on your wedding nite couldn't you wait for him what up with that
2007-11-19 19:45:27 · answer #9 · answered by Myra N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, I have no good advice for you. He said one thing, now another thing...unless you can prove it, I don't think there is anything you can do about it now. But, if there is ever a next time, and you know the guy is not stable, don't take everything he says at face value.
2007-11-19 19:42:57 · answer #10 · answered by Linni 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋