iS THIS SENTENCE CORRECT?

Question

Hester had flung away the scarlet letter “A” and let down her hair because she was overjoyed to be making plans of escape to Europe with her lover, Reverend Dimmesdale, so when she summoned Pearl, the stubborn little girl would not come because her mother’s appearance was different than the look that Pearl was used to seeing for over seven years.

Answer 1

It's very long and thus loses some of it's focus. "Had flung" is an awkward construction, so I'd just use flung. It's still past tense and matches the tenses of "let" and "overjoyed". Matching tenses is one of the things that polishes and perfects your writing.

I would end the sentence with Dimmesdale, and start a new sentence with "When she summoned Pearl..."

I don't know why, and I don't know where you'd look this up, but I think you should say "different from" rather than "different than".

Long sentences tend to blur the meaning. Simple is usually better. Avoid semicolons unless you're sure of their proper use.

Answer 2

Yeah, it's technically fine.. and if done for dramatic effect (depending on what was before/after it) you could get away with it... but... there's no reason not to break it after Dimmesdale (here). Then, lose the "so" and start the 2nd sentence with the word, "When"

Answer 3

I would suggest breaking it up into smaller sentences, and making good use of semicolons. The way that you have it now is too long to be coherent.

Answer 4

this is a run on sentence