i have been married to my husband for about 4 months now and he is a bit emotionally unstable. when we married he was a virgin and our honeymoon we freaked out and didnt want to have sex and said he be fine if i have sex with another man and get pregnant cause he will take care of that child, but now since i am beginning to show he decided to file for divorce and also decided he wouldnt care for the child he is saying that i had an affair, but he said it was ok to have sex with another man on our honey and he is now turning the tables what can i do? i dont want to lose?
2007-11-19 09:50:58 · 62 answers · asked by Hi T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
looks as if u trusted the wrong man and its impossible to know who will be safe to marry and who won't. but it doesn't look like u have a leg to stand on here. he won't have to pay u support. and theres not much u can do about it. u listened to the wrong person and its going to come back to hurt u.
2007-11-19 10:05:49 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Your husband clearly has some issues, which you had to have known prior to marrying him. Anyone who tells their spouse its ok to have an affair and on their honeymoon clearly has something wrong with them. You should have been strong and refused to sleep with someone else. Talked things over with your husband, when a guy is the virgin in a relationship he might feel uncomfortable that he isn’t good as guys you may have been in the past. With some patience and understand perhaps you wouldn’t have gotten yourself in this situation.
As far as the child is concerned if you all are still legal married he would be the legal father and may have to pay some sort of support. But if he is unstable as you said he probably doesn’t need to be around any children period. As someone else said if you all have never had sex then your marriage is technically incomplete and you could seek an annulment.
2007-11-19 10:29:04 · answer #2 · answered by Spread Peace and Love 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You're both guilty of something here. First, he shouldn't tell you to have sex with another man and freak when it happens. Second, you shouldn't have sex with another man unless you have the guts to accept responsibility for what happens next.
Your husband is being a jerk but you both should have gone into counseling the second you got married. Or even before that! This would NOT be happening if you had done that in the first place.
You have 2 choices:
1. You try working things out and make him understand why this is happening.
2. You leave him and get a lawyer who will understand the situation and will help you win your case.
! don't know who would win, but I do wish you good luck.
2007-11-19 10:00:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
it's better to get out of a relationship early before it escalates to something scary. he was probably just upset about not having sex, i think he would most likely be mad if you had sex with another guy. just bring it up in an argument, that way it seems that you just thought of it and haven't been plotting.
but you have to be a few steps before him. go to a lawyer and a financial person. have the accounts frozen (so he doesn't take all the money) and have a place set up where you can go and stay for a while (a siblings, parents, or friends house is good) make sure to be clear on what you want in the divorce, he will probably find loopholes in contracts.
i hope i helped you
2007-11-19 09:57:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it's not his child, then he shouldn't have to pay for it. That is by law...of course he told you differently. But you should get some help and at lest 50 percent of everything from the divorce. And WAIT...why don't you try couples therapy just as a last straw??
Besides that, there is something very wrong with BOTH of you. He needs to grow up and be ok with sex, and you need to realize that sex outside of marriage is never ok, even is someone says it is. I think maybe he didn't realize that you would ACTUALLY sleep with someone else...and once you did, it freaked him out. I don't think he was ready to be married at all.
2007-11-19 09:56:19 · answer #5 · answered by Marie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Serious??????????
What make you get married in the first place? Just think......wait I cant go off on you , you asked a question.... well are you in contact with that other guy and is he going to be in the childs life? Think about the kid before you spread your legs next time, II truely hope you pull it together and do whats right for the baby. You need to get a divorce and find a place far from the guy and try to bring up your baby ... to be not like you.!
2007-11-19 09:58:45 · answer #6 · answered by Marcus 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lose? Just own what happened. You are pregnant from another man other than your husband and your husband wants a divorce. Everything else is a story. If he leaves, he leaves. Tell him how you feel and try to understand how he feels. If anyone wants out of a relationship you can't make them do anything. You just have to live and let them live.
2007-11-20 00:24:15 · answer #7 · answered by analog girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow! What a mess. So you took his advice and had sex with another man and became pregnant? That was one of many mistakes. He will not be obliged to support that child if testing proves that it is not his. The man who really impregnated you will be obliged to support the child, and he should have thought about that before he unzipped. I hope you stop living a soap opera before this child is born. He/she can do without it. Sadly, the one who may lose the most here is your child.
2007-11-19 09:57:34 · answer #8 · answered by colder_in_minnesota 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Did you have sex just to get pregnant or because he wouldn't do it? I can understand wanting a baby but can't understand being with someone else just for sex. You should just let the divorce go through and hopefully find a love where the feeling are mutual. Good Luck
2007-11-19 09:56:33 · answer #9 · answered by sunshine25570 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nothing maybe you should have been a stronger woman and kept your legs closed you got married only 4 month ago. Move on! Why stay if you want to go out and have sex with other men. Find out who the dad is and have him pay for the baby.
2007-11-19 10:22:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get yourself an attorney and run. Really, look at what you wrote, you got married and he was a virgin, he freaked out about having sex so he said you could go have sex with someone else and get pregnant..... He is highly unstable. Now, did you guys ever have sex? You need to consummate the marriage for i to be legal, it can be annulled like that in almost any state.
Either way, your his wife for now, I would request a psychiatric evaluation.
2007-11-19 09:56:53 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋