Is that called abuse?

Question

I was stressed out on Friday because he talked about his Ex. Then I started asking questions about sexual things. He answered then he said that he is stupid and he shouldn't said anything about his ex. then he went to bed at 9. I was on the computer listening to songs and drinking wine. I came to him and said I am sorry for asking. then I started crying because I was missing my family( I left my family for him) I asked him for tissue he said why don't you go get it. I got the tissue and went to living room instead of bedroom. Saying that all I was asking for tissue. He came over and slapped me hard on the head saying 'Are you crazy?' I said Why you hit me? Then he grabbed my hand and pulled me on the ground. I asked to leave me or I will call 911. He hugged me saying he loves me so much. He don't wanna loose me? i said You hit me I am not going to stay in this house.He said that's fine I will file the papers.

we have been married for 5 months and he never did this to me. I was abused by my parents and that left me a big scar in my life. I can't deal with this again. Now we are fine. But I was wondering if this is called abuse.

Answer 1

Hi. Well, I know you have received many responses... here's another. I have been married with my husband for 10 years this December. When we were 3 months married he hit me. When we were 8 months married he hit me again. It has gone and on like that for almost 10 years. Things get good, hten we argue and it's okay, but then after a couple of arguements... he loses it. He can not stand an arguement, he can not be contradicted. We have 2 boys, the oldest is going to be 8 & youngest is 2. My husband is a hypocrit... why? Because he also has exgrilfriends... he also had sex with them, he was also very sexually active. But me... I was a virgin when I met him, he was my first... and so far my only. He is a hypocrit because he can not stand thinking of me watching some porno or talking about sex... but he did do all this before though. Yesterday he pulled my hair ( I have long hair) so hard & for such a long time that the back of my neck hurts so much right now. I don't know what to do? I have been with me for almost 10 years... we have 2 boys... he still hits me. Do you want this to be your life too? If he did once, he will do it again. Yes, it is abuse. Yes abuse is verbal, physical and mental. I ask you again, do you want this to be your life? You don't have kids yet, you are barely starting your marriage. I wish I could have/should have gotten out when he hit me the 1st time. Don't wait for a second time... get out now. You have already been abused once too much.

Answer 2

If this post is for real - YES, this is abuse. Since you grew up around it, you might be so used to it, you cannot longer tell which way is up.

Loving people do not hit each other. Loving husbands may be in a bad mood or feel unwell, but they DO NOT HIT each other and then hug their women and ask for forgiveness.

Please see someone who can help you discover the hurt and wounded you and help you heal her. Do this no matter what else is happenng in your life. Once you get clear on what a healthy relationship looks like and more importantly, feel very strongly that you deserve one and will not settle for anything less, you can leave,if you haven't done so by then. Whatever you do, do not move on to another relationship until you have done the work to get healhty, or you only attract that same type of abusive man back into your life and the cycle will not end. Stay away from men and relationships until you have healed a lot of your wounds...

Good luck!

Answer 3

Of course it's abusive no matter the number of times it occurred. It will get worse unless he gets help fast. If this happened to you in the past with your parents I don't think you need this again. Get out of the marriage fast OR give him time to make some changes. As for time I don't' mean a few days..try a few months or even a year. That is if he is even worth waiting for. I've been through an experience like this and time was all it took. Some men change while others never due that's the change you have to take if you want to take it.

Answer 4

u need to get away from this man, if he were sorry he would be doing all he could to convince u he was sorry, he should be showing more remorse, but instead he is telling u he is going to divorce u, and he is the one abusing u. never tell him your sorry for something he caused. get some therapy, find out why u are attracting abusive people. could have much to do with your exposures as a child, and u may feel comfortable with what was familiar. but u do not deserve this, no one does. all u need is a little bit of confidence, and some self worth and u will see him for who he is just look at his behavior, u can do much better than this. just because u grew up abused doesn't men u have to settle for the same treatment now. he sounds very insensitive and cruel. could be u are trying to fix something in your childhood that went terribly wrong, so sometimes people will seek out the same kinds of relationships u had with the parent who hurt u. love won't change him, this is who he is. learn from this, the way he treats u contradicts the way god wants us to live. get out of this, if u don't it will destroy u emotionally.

Answer 5

OMG! I went through the same thing. Only I put up with it longer than that. And it's only a slap on the head! It never has gone further than that. It's almost like he wants to hit but he holds back. I don't understand why guys act like this! I've been married for four years now and it hasn't happened for a long time. I do condsider it abuse. Because it hurts emotionally and physically. Getting slapped around is not normal.

Answer 6

It is abuse in the whole sense of the word. You need to take action in your life, as you said you were a victim of abuse from you father that left you a scar in your face. There are other scars that are worse that those in your skin, those are the psychological and emotional that take more time to heal. You have to decide how you want to live your life, with respect and love and consideration or to have your spirit broken forever and living in fear for the rest of your life. Learn to live with respect, think that your persona is a temple that God gave you as a gift that nobody has the right to take it or to abuse it and you have the responsibility to protect and care because is your gift. Now that you are young, go and face the world and live your life with dignity. Don't just read the messages and go back to your life and pretend that nothing happened, this is serious and you have to know it. Don't be another statistic please, as a woman I feel the obligation to tell you that don't be afraid or scared, there are places were they can protect you and help you. God bless you and I hope that I lit a light in that dark tunnel that you are now.

Answer 7

You know very well it is abuse you dont need to be asking on here whether it is or not!... If I were you I would leave it will only get worse and you know that too. You have only been married for 5 months so it shoud be easy for you to leave, you do not need this in your life so many women stay in abusive relationships....why is beyond me....good luck and get out of it now before next time he does more than just slaps you in the head~!

Answer 8

It doesn't sound like a good situation. What he did is abuse. Nobody should ever hit you. What he did afterwards was totally like an abuser does...they become sorry for what they do and they are ok until the next time they hit you. Or, they try and make you think it's your fault that they hit you.
Please don't fall into that trap. If you feel threatened, go back to your family and be safe.
Good luck to you.
I know what an abusive situation is like, as I lived through one in my early years, and I will NEVER forget it.

Answer 9

Yes. As you know, once they do it and get away with it, then it will happen again. He should have never slapped you. I would have called 911. No one should ever hit you. Ever.

I would leave him. He may say Sorry, I Love you, and he may mean it. I would leave him. He needs counseling. It sounds like you should have some too to help you deal with your past. I am so sorry these things have happened to you.

Answer 10

I wont answer until i hear both sides of the story, but you said he slapped you on the head, and that could mean that he was trying to snap you out of something or make you think a little.

But if he did to hurt you then YES it is abuse.