My husband beginning of excessive drinking?

Question

My husband and I have recently gotten married we've been together for 2years plus and we've known each other alot longer.
In the begininng of our relationship within time i noticed an issue with him drinking. I spoke how i felt about this. Then knows it's a problem but doesnt kno how to fix it, within time came denial, but looked at it like I just didnt want him to drink. "me being in control so bad things wont happen" Not giving him the chance to prove it to me on his own.
We moved to a new location, old friends just werent there. Drinking stoped for over 6months now I dropped the issue just this past weekend I put away my own issues with this topic. Since we had a lil vacation..
We both drank, however I know how to control myself and no when to stop. He doesnt. I had one drink friday, he had 2..
Saturday, we drank got buzzed, he continued when I soo stoped. Sunday we went out to dinner I ordered a drink plus i had 1shot. He had 6 beers, plus

kept pushing the issue to drink MORE. I was patient and changed the subject. B/c I we had a great weekend i didnt want to ruin it. He kept gettin irritable and wanting to drink more. Finally I spoke how i felt and leading into a argument/disscustion the hole night.
He's going into the military where drinking happends often.. All I want for him is to be a responsible drinker, and no when to stop when ur ahead.He has no contol.. I'm affraid when goes away he'll be put in situations and I wont be around to remind him that he has a problem. I dont know what to do I feel like our marriage is at risk..I feel like he cheats but with alcohol and with in a matter of time cheating will happen b/c he has no contol. We've been this route before and I'm really scared b/c I have my own life to take care of & I'm tryin to be a good wife but Its seriously affecting my life. I'm so deppressed I want to leave him b/c I can vison how bad things will get. Please help I need advice

Answer 1

If he possibly has a drinking problem its probably not smart to drink around him. You said he doesnt know when to stop, so why are you drinking AT ALL with him? And he needs to get help, the sooner it gets fixed the better.

Answer 2

Sounds like the fresh start helped, but that the addiction is still very real. It is, after all, addictive -- so you should have stayed well away from it as well. If you're to the point of considering leaving as opposed to being married to ' a drunk' then put it that way to him, combined with your own committment not to any part of his reintroduction to it.

If he's not in control at all, then you'll see the fallout from his activities while you aren't there to rescue/enable him. You have to just let that happen, but you don't have to let it ruin your marriage unless other things are also telling you to get out.

Agreed it is not your job or destiny to be the wife of a drunk if you do not want that, and if he hasn't the strength to make that choice for you, then you have to do what you have to do.

Answer 3

nicely, if he's in basic terms violent while he beverages and not while he's no longer eating, that's an illustration that he has a eating problem and not an anger problem. while helping somebody with a drug and/or alcohol problem, that's important coach as plenty care as achieveable. that maybe no longer ordinary given what you went via with him, yet in basic terms understand that that isn't the actual him! he's no longer in basic terms abusing you! he's abusing himself by applying putting risky chemical ingredients into his physique in attempt to forget approximately some problem he has. that's necessary that or no longer it is got here upon what's troubling him! all of us can say that persons with drug or alcohol issues are terrible people who could be locked up and tortured for doing something something so undesirable! it extremely isn't the case! He needs help! the explanation some human beings drink heavily is to numb emotional soreness! the reality that he's a very good loving individual while he would not drink, is an illustration that that's how he truthfully is! There are countless drug and alcohol centers the place human beings can recieve nameless help. If he seems unwilling to oblige, ask him, "do you somewhat need to harm your self and persons, or do you in basic terms prefer the soreness to flow away?" I pray that he won't harm you returned, and that i pray that your husband will discover out whats bothering him and resolves it so which you the two can relax in peace! in case you sense emergency help is mandatory, do no longer hesitate to take him to a wellness center. The psychiatric ward of the wellness center is unlike interior the flicks! that's truthfully an somewhat comfortable environment, and he will in actuality discover those with the same issues he has. this would make him sense extra well-off and he will probable be waiting to get help extra convenient! The psychiatric group there are knowledgeable to help others and are certain by applying the regulation to maintain information very own. there is one disadvantage although. If he voluntarily indicators himself into the wellness center, the wellness center won't divulge any information approximately his stay and it will stay private, yet while he must be forced to verify in (the two by applying the police or different authority) it form of turns right into a offender record. i'm hoping i became powerful to you!

Answer 4

He may be an alcoholic. You should go to one alanon meeting. You will learn so much. About you, him, and what to do. If he is an alcoholic, your lives are going downhill already, you've just started finding out. At the same time, be loving and loyal. Its a disease that he can not control and denies he has, but you have to look out for yourself. Alanon will put you in the right direction sep. in a new town. Plus, the military will not screw around with alcoholics.

Answer 5

As a woman who is married to a functioning drunk, I feel who better to break the news to you but a fellow seasoned vet such as I, yep, I married a man who drinks to, and I knew it when I married him, and it doesnt get better with time, actually it gets worse, as alcoholism is a progresive disease that not only effects him, but you as well, so you are now just as ill, because this is a family disease that takes everyone close to the drunk down with it, so heres my advise I give to you, seek out help, dont drink along with him, if you drink with him, you only worsen the disease and show him that its acceptable behavior, and its not! If you want to save your marriage you best nip this in the bud now, while its at its early stage, and for gods sake dont get pregnant, or start a family till he gets help, and keep in mind that he will only get help when hes ready. So here are a few helpful suggestions, go to a Alanon meeting, the people at this meeting are a great sorse of support, and they have all been where you are, theirs no shame, theirs no judgement calls, only caring people who can not cure his disease, but teach you as a person how to better understand the insanity of it and how to cope, make no excuses and go! Its free and their are meetings everywhere at almost anytime of the day or night, good luck!

Answer 6

Well I think leaving is a good choice because my sister was in the military and she told me alot of stories he is going to cheat imagine you are not there who is he going to have sex with you need to get your mind together and tell him you are going to leave him. And that you need a break because you do not want an achololic or if you really want to go far then you can tell his cheif about his situation and ask if the can help.

Answer 7

Sounds like an alcoholic....you can't ask them to drink just a little...it all or nothing. There isn't a gray area for alcoholics. Either they drink or they don't...plain and simple. So if there are issues, then there shouldn't be any drinking at all, by either of you.

Answer 8

You betterface it that your husbands shows signs of becomming and alcoholic and can not control his drinking. You have choices to make. Get yourself to an ALANON group who can educate you and help you. Good Luck.

Answer 9

certain people will never be responsible drinker. it's just not in them. if you don't want your husband to drink, then you shouldn't either. he doesn't and will never know when to say stop.