I was with my ex for 14 months. We broke up almost a year ago and I've been with m current bf for 6 months. I have not seen or talked to my ex since las December. It wasn't a particularly bad break-up...he has texted me a couple of times over the past year and I ignore them because I have no desire to communicate with him at all.
Just today, his brother in law contacted me on myspace. He said he ran across my profile and wanted to say hello. He and my ex's sister are now going through a divorce and I think he just wanted to talk to someone that understands how screwy the family is. I always got along very well with my ex's brother in law, at family functions, funerals, and we did hang out a couple times as couples. We seemed to have alot of the same morals and views. However, when my ex and I broke up I understood that I would have to also break up with his friends and family (sucks but it's life).
2007-11-19 08:28:38 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Is it acceptable that I still talk to his brother in law from time to time..offer support during the divorce? I want to stay away from talk about my ex and I do plan on asking my bf how he feels...just wondering how you all feel?? If it bugs my bf I wont thnk twice about not communicating..and no, I don't want my ex's brother in law in ANYWAY.
2007-11-19 08:30:39 · update #1
I would first ask your bf how he felt. The BIL probably just wants to talk to someone that knows the family and his soon to be ex wife. And if you two got along good and share the same type of viewpoints all the better. If you are nervous about talk of your ex just tell the BIL that you really have moved on and don't even need to waste time talking about him. Offer your support to him during the divorce and keep it light in that way. It is hard to break up with family and friends...especially when you get along better with them than you ever did with your bf or gf...
2007-11-19 08:44:14 · answer #1 · answered by laura1977 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have great instincts in wanting to clear any possible future connections with your ex BIL with your BF now - that shows class and sensitivity to his feelings. Assuming your BF has no problem with ocassional contact, I'd offer a sympathetic ear to the man. You two have a lot in common and it would be a kind,warm thing to do. Sounds like you got lucky when you got out of the nutty family and your ex.
Good luck!
2007-11-19 08:37:29 · answer #2 · answered by Gatubella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were in your shoes I would do what I want. I would tell my partner to cope with it. I would not be talking to my ex behind her back or giving her anything to be jealous about. Having an ex is a part of your past, and that makes it a part of your life. It is not something you can erase. During that time in your life, you may have met people and become friends. That's fine. Remain friends if you want. I would hope that all the friends I have met through my partner are not just friends because of her. I woudl like to think they are still friends if she and I split (though I hope we never split). Friendship is deeper than who is dating who or who is married to who. Friendship is a bond that you form despite outside circumstances. I say be grown up, be mature, be friends if you want. And if that means your ex comes back into your life, but you want him out, then cast him out. Tell his brother in law that you cannot be friends with him if it means bringing your ex into the picture is a package deal. I'm sure he will understand.
2007-11-19 08:41:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When i divorced my first husband i remained good friends with his sister and his parents for along time. so no it is not wrong, you were not married so there is even less of a reason not to communicate with your exs bro in law. you are an adult so do what you want. who cares what others think and why should anyone know anyway.
2007-11-19 08:39:39 · answer #4 · answered by picture 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you and your ex brother in law are talking, hey that's good, you sound like you have a good head on your shoulder, you will make the right decision.
2007-11-19 08:34:52 · answer #5 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see anything wrong with lending a little support here and there, or just saying hello. Besides, once he divorces, he won't even be part of his family any more.
2007-11-19 08:35:13 · answer #6 · answered by gatsgrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would ask my boyfriend what he thought about it first and if he has no objections, than it seems okay. as he probably isn't going to be doing much communicating with that family in the future.
2007-11-19 08:37:42 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I still keep in touch with my X's family and friends. No big deal, it shouldn't have to be that way. Especially the friends...what, they weren't your friends too?
2007-11-19 09:09:16 · answer #8 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can still stay friends.
2007-11-19 08:40:17 · answer #9 · answered by harold 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋