Thanks for all of the answers to my earlier questions. I have started going to counciling and have recently found out that my husband has been keeping tabs on me. He has a calendar and writes down everything that I do or don't do. He has even gone as far as to go through the bathroom trash to see if I'm on my period or not. It's really starting to scare me. He has gotten more controlling and has started cursing at the kids more. He even used the f**k work toward our 4 year old. I really need some good advice how to handle this. PLEASE HELP!!!
2007-11-19 08:10:51 · 32 answers · asked by Very Blessed!!! 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
don't stay with a man like this, he sounds as if he has some unresolved issues with life or his past. seriously u need to find a way to get out or get him out. he sounds really unstable like he is keeping a book on u sounds as if he has some anger about something. but u did not break him so why fix him. get out while u can, even if u have to go back home.
2007-11-19 10:55:17 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say it is time to leave. I have read you other questions and it seems to me you are in a really bad situation. I have had psychology. With him being so obsessed with you cheating it means he has. He is keeping calendars on you. It kind of makes me wonder if he isn't trying to catch you in something to have an excuse to leave. Has his behavior progressively gotten worse since the woman moved back into town. If so I think he might be trying to push you out. He is being aggressive towards your children. The emotional stress they will go through from being away from there father is far less than their father verbally abusing them. If you can't do it for yourself do it for them. This is a bad situation. I don't believe in divorce but there is a point where you need to do the right thing for your family. Good Luck and God Bless.
2007-11-19 08:32:35 · answer #2 · answered by timarasmith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you know the answer to your own question.
Leave him...your counselor has already told you that. Why go to a counselor if you're not going to do what they say?
You have to want to help yourself...that's the first step. You need to reach down inside yourself, pull yourself together, make a plan, and GO...GIT...LEAVE the creep.
I work with a woman who complains constantly about her horrible life with her horrible husband, yet she does everything he wants her to do, goes anywhere he wants her to go...even if he gets mad at her in the car and drives like a madman, in & out of ditches, and dumps her out at 2:00 in the morning....and on and on and on. Her reason for not leaving him is "Why should I have to leave all my things and my home and start over?" She can't stand for him to touch her, but she'll have sex with him just to shut him up. You get the picture here? She's as bad as he is...and I'm beginning to think they deserve each other. You know, some people are happy being miserable together.
So, you see, it's up to you. Either accept him the way he is and hush, or get yourself GONE from him! I don't mean to sound unfeeling, but again, you must want to help yourself if you want help from anyone else.
I wish you luck!
2007-11-19 08:42:20 · answer #3 · answered by Barbi T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave this man it is not good and this is not good for your kids he is being a jerk and that is not good for you or your babys so get even though you might not think so but you are getting abused and there are places that can help you look in the phone book or look in your county find shelter were you can stay and look for the health and social services department they will be able to help you get out of this mess it is time to say stop no more abuse and leave.
2007-11-19 08:19:58 · answer #4 · answered by Lost 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
can you not see that he will never change and there is no point in asking him to go to counselling with you, he is selfish and self asorbed and in his eyes the way he treats you and the kids is normal.....obviously you dont like being abused in this sense so move on out or kick him out he is disgusting and has no respect for you, you must also protect your kids think about it what kind of parent swears abuse at their kids, is this how you want your kids to grow up in.... because you see monkey see monkey do!..... and there fore the cycle of abuse will not be broken. Take charge of your life and make it better , safer and happier for you and your kids. You do not need a loser like him in your life , I mean come on this is no way what so ever for anyone to be living by....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-11-19 08:43:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's time to get rid of him, it's great that you are getting the help you need but I think before something really drastic happens and he hurts one of you; you need to get out. He is your husband, not a probation officer or even your father. He has no right going through your stuff like that
2007-11-19 08:19:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy is trying to make you feel bad about HIS trangresses. He doesn't trust you because HE isn't trustworthy.
How to handle this? What do you want for you and your children? What kind of dad and husband should he be? Do you think he will ever be that for you and your children? If yes, then go to counseling together, if no, leave him now before you waste more of your life with him.
2007-11-19 08:25:52 · answer #7 · answered by DeeGee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I want you to think about this..do you want to live like this for the rest of your life?
That part is simple, knowing what to do next is the hard part. I WAS married to someone like that. The behavior only escalates, and he WILL get worse. Possibly even he will become physically abusive, he's on that road honey. Trust me, I've lived it. If you truly love him and WANT to attempt to make it work, go to therapy and see if he works at it as well. Just remember your child, he/she does NOT need to see that behavior. I had three kids, and it took months and months of therapy to help them overcome the things they saw their father do to me. Know that inside, you DO have the strength to do this. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Gentle hugs, Lynn
2007-11-19 08:20:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Take your precious children, pack up and LEAVE! It's only swearing now, who knows what the next thing will be? The f-word to a 4 year old? Looking for your period blood? He's not stable. Go, go, go, and God speed! [PS refer him to a mental health worker, in case he needs medication. Really.]
2007-11-19 08:20:30 · answer #9 · answered by Linni 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow....your husband has way too much time on his hands. That's crazy (and disgusting). I think I would have to pack my bags quickly one day while he was at work, grab the kids, and RUN before he realized what I was up to. That's scary! He sounds like an awful man. Be careful!
2007-11-19 08:15:43 · answer #10 · answered by Jacqueline D 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋