Is it rude not to bring something even if they told you not to?

Question

I was brought up that you always bring something when you are invited as a guest for Thanksgiving. If you are the guest either a dish, dessert, flowers, and or wine.

Why do people take everything so literal when some says Oh really don't bring anything. Don't you think its a nice gesture to the host? Am I wrong?

Answer 1

I was raised the same way. Even if I'm going over just for dinner or for a party, I feel that it's polite to bring something. If they insist that they've got everything covered, then I stay away from food, so I usually just stick with beverages, like soda, beer, or wine.

Flowers can get messy, and they can always put our gift in the fridge if they don't want to serve it.

It isn't rude NOT to bring something if you were told not to, but it's also not rude to bring something if you weren't told not to. Either way, it might be safer to bring something small, as a polite gesture to your host.

Answer 2

People always say not to bring something. But there is some hidden rule that you should bring something (if you can afford to)

I think its a good idea to bring some type of drink. Wine, or beer. I like the flower ideas as well. Or after meal mints, or a new movie, a game. Or even a simple Thank you card.

Answer 3

Sometimes when people say not to bring anything they mean it as they have been preparing this meal for probably months so have a menu already worked out.They ask you not to bring anything also because maybe your dessert will outshine hers or something silly like that.So if the host says not to bring anything...the only acceptable item is a bottle of wine or cider.Or bring a small bouquet of flowers just for her.

Answer 4

It is a great gesture to the host unless they absolutely insist that they have everything covered, just to come enjoy yourselves, if you was to bring a dish then, they may feel you were not comfortable with their version of that dish. So still then you would be appropriate in bringing a bottle of fine or something for them as a token of your appreciation for their dedication and work.

Answer 5

Well i was raised in the south so we were taught to always bring something when your invited as a guest it doesn't have to be food it could be a drink, flowers, or even a side dish

Answer 6

It's a good gesture. It is good to know that manners is not an ancient idea. My rule of thumb is to never show up empty handed. A bottle of wine for the host is always a nice gesture.

Answer 7

I think in most cases, it's a nice gesture. The only reason I think it would be uninvited is if there is not enough room for anything else. I love it when people bring another dessert, especially something chocolate.

Answer 8

no its not rude because they told u not to bring anything( they might also think that u don't like their food if u bring something when told not to)
but u can bring flowers
or better yet help with setting the table and cleaning up afterwards
no host would refuse this help

Answer 9

I don't think it's rude since you are following their instructions to not bring anything, but i would give the host/hostess wine or cider (if they don't like to drink) as a thank you for the invitation.

Answer 10

I usually bring something, but in the spirit of the "just bring yourselves!" command from the hosts, I usually don't bring a food item. If you bring even wine, or candy, they may feel obligated to serve it, even if that wasn't your intent. So, I prefer to bring something like a scented jar candle, scented soaps, or even decorative hand towels- just a token of appreciation for being included in the festivities, but not something they feel obligated to serve.