marriage trouble????????

Question

What should i do my husband and I been married for 2 years now. I want a divorce. He doesn't show me any attention. He comes home form work play the game, talk on the phone and get on the computer. We have talked about this soooooo many times. I can't take it anymore. I'm 23 and he is 29. You would think he would grow up. I'm a stay home mother right now. Our baby is 7 months. I will be going back to work pretty soon. I've tried the sex thing to get his attention and it works only while we are doing it. Then he gets back on the game, phone and computer. I don't know what else to do. I don't feel loved and I told him this. He's famouse saying is "well at least I ain't cheating". What the fu__k. So, "Am I tripin". What should I do. I feel like I to young to be getting a divorce. O, He doesn't want to go to counsleing either. I their for him everytime he needs me but I can't say the same about him. I feel lost. Ii don't know how to handle this...help"??????????

Answer 1

j I can understand your confusion with so many ups and downs. Marriage has lots of those, especially downs. You owe it to your husband to get to the source of his "issues" around your children and help him fix it immediately. HOWEVER: If he is not willing to work at bettering himself for the sake of your kids and your marriage, then there is no question about it....HE HAS TO GO!!!!
Marriage is a commitment, BUT when kids are involved....they have to come first!!! Any man that cannot accept that is not worthy of being married to!
Remember--
Kids are #1
Hubby is #2
That is how it should be.....you do what is best for your kids
1 year ago

Answer 2

I hate to see anyone get a divorce with children in the picture. This is a tough call because he really should spend more time with you, but at the same time I don't know what his job is like. Some people come home and play on the computer or talk on the phone to unwind after a tough day. The best barometer is really how he is as a father. If he is as absent a father as he is a husband, maybe you should consider divorce. He may come around once your baby starts walking, but you have some good indicators of how he'll be later on right now. If you're the one always taking care of the baby, chances are that won't change as the child gets older. I'd give him a few months more and see what happens. If you keep telling him that he's not giving you (and the baby) enough attention and he doesn't start to mend his ways and still won't go to counseling, it's time to think about what's best for you and your child.

Answer 3

Part of your problem, is you are a new mother and stay at home all the time. Adult conversation is wonderful, but when you have a husband that doesn't understand what your body just went through, is hard. I would not file for divorce, this will work out, but you need to stop fighting about this. When your husband comes home, speak when spoken to, go about your business as if he was not there. Find something to do, take a craft course, find something that will give you some adult conversation. It doesn't have to be for a long time. 1/2 to 1 hour is good. Calmly tell your husband you are going to get out of the house for a short while, and he can take care of his child. There is a solution to every thing, but to many people think they can cry, scream, and argue to get a sensible conclusion. Getting out of the house helps. If you don't want to do it in the evening, then do it during the day. Invite people over to do crafts, or do a book club, after all the house belongs to you also.

Answer 4

sorry about that airheaded child who answered first saying too long to read...she obviously doesn't understand the weight of the matter...probably under 16 too

wow, hmm, sounds like the way I treat my girl for the last 2-3 years I joined a rock band and party a lot. She doesn't come along. I tell her I ain't cheatin either, but I also stopped having sex, and I look, but I'm heavy so I don't have oppo to cheat. I don't want jsut anyone.

No your guy is a butt like me, honestly, what you see is what you get, most of us guys don't change, esp. when we give answers like that.

Will he go to counseling? If not, sucks you got a baby with him, but either deal with it and learn to find your own happiness though he's ignoring you OR start preparing for a better life. It might be hard at first, but if you find the right guy, you'll be worlds happier BUT...good guys are getting hard.

Now, you have a kid already, but if you work on your spirituality through meditation, good diet and exercise to keep nice body, and have a decent job, you are a sweetheart and you get out there to find a good guy like at church or group mediation...you'll be just fine!!!

Remember Rome wasn't built in a day. Maybe you temporarily live with your rents or friend while working and saving money and mingling....

If you really love your current man and are willing to accept he is immature and selfish and will probably ignore you a lot, then you learn the great lesson of acceptance and tolerance. It's some karma you are balancing. You don't have to take full punch so consider your options.
Good luck sweet thing!

Answer 5

If you're unhappy you're never too young to get a marriage. It sounds like your willing to fix things and he's just not. He doesn't realize that something is wrong. He should be coming home and spending time with you and your child before running to video games or the computer. And for his comments about "at least I ain't cheating" that makes me wonder if he's hiding something.

You need to comfront him and say directly: "This isn't working. Do you want to fix things? Or would you rather we file for divorce and I'll leave?"
Don't play games with him. Make sure he knows it's either he is willing to make a change in your relationship or it's time for you to go. I know you don't want to have to get a divorce at such a young age, but you need to not only think about your happiness, but also how your child will feel being raised in a home where you and daddy don't get along.

Answer 6

Insist on counseling-it's not as hard as you may think. The law will be on your side and so will everyone else. Make an appointment and go by yourself if he won't go. Don't give up on counseling even if he is not involved at first. It is important to save your marriage if you can.
If you can't , there are worse lives than being a divorced mom. Good luck

Answer 7

Take your kid and leave for a week or more go visit your parents/friend that lives far enough away that if he calls you can't rush back to save the day. you need to get away from the sitituation to think about, while your there your emotions will be changing while he is home, gone, phone, game, tv, etc. and the time apart may change your mind or just comfirm it. Its going to be hard for the kid but it is better that you do it while they are young because they won't remember any fighting between you and your husband over who gets what and child support and all the stuff that goes on during a divorce.

Answer 8

maybe you could show him that you care enough to spend time with him doing the things that interest him, (computer, game, etc.) and then maybe he will see your effort and follow suit. Tough situation though when he doesn't seem to be trying. Men are funny though, they really are just wired different, try this and try talking to him, tell him that you are grateful to have a man whose loyal, faithful, but that it would help you be a better wife if he would just spend a little more time with you, this way he doesn't feel like you are attacking him saying he never spends time with you, that really pushes men away....Good luck, please really try to fix things before deciding divorce, you guys got married for a reason, try to remember what that is.

P.s. After Men come home from work, sometimes they need time to destress if you will to unwind, although it may feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders with all of the home stuff, he's out there consumed with providing for his family, which can be a lot

Answer 9

I can't believe I'm actually answering this. Throw away the video games and the computer. Turn off the phones and find some hobbies. If you can't figure out he has ADD and that he cannot handle the items you own, I don't know what to tell you. Bottom line, it doesn't take a nice set of hooters to distract your man. Get rid of the garbage in your life. Stand your ground and make him divorce you or be your husband.

Answer 10

Wow I don't really know what would be best, maybe you should talk to a counselor just to make sure you are going about this the best way. He seems to have lost interest in you and doesn't want to be interested in you anymore. Unfortunately you may end up divorced, but talk to a marriage counselor yourself, and have them help you with other options first before you end it. I hope this helps