To both men and women. How much individual time away from the family unit is healthy for a man to take a week

Question

I'm husband of a wonderful woman and step father to her two children ages 11 and 9. We are expecting our first baby together very soon. As the economy in our state is very soft, I've been the only breadwinner of this family for some time now. In addition to working full time, I am a graduate student and we are renovating our home to make room for the new baby.

On average, I take roughly two to three hours every other thursday night to play some cards with some old college friends of mine. Whenever I do this, I get dirty looks and a cold shoulder from my wife. Is feeling the need for two to three hours of individual fun time with the guys every other week asking too much? I view it as theropy only cheaper and more effective.

And Raymand, my family's health goes as my health goes, both physically and mentally. I work in sales. If I'm not 100% on my game, my family doesn't eat. I suspect that your understanding of that sort of pressure is somewhat underdeveloped.

Answer 1

This is so highly individual it would be very difficult to answer with any surety. I can tell you that my husband meets with his buddies (or tries to) every thursday and this is very important for men to have male relationships that are not always connected with family. In addition I think it is reasonable and healthy for a man to have a sport or hobby that he can feel free to follow once or twice a week. Younger couples probably feel less able to get "away time" especially those with small children. They count on one another as back up when the responsibilities are at an all time high. We seem to relax that a great deal as time goes by. I also have time away from the family with girl weekend travel trips, happy hours, lunches, etc.. I think that as long as your partner and children are not feeling neglected and your relationship is healthy overall this is totally up to individual circumstances, family styles and a cooperative understanding between partners.

Answer 2

I play hockey one or two times a week. If I didn't, I'd go nuts. I also like to go fishing in the summer. I get out once every other week on a Saturday morning.

My Kids are older and my home renovation days are finished so I have a little more time.

I think you have to have some sort of hobby or activity that is yours. One night every other week is not allot to ask. To be fair, she should get out once in a while too.

Answer 3

If he's like most men--he's already gone for 8 to 10 hours at work each day. That's A LOT of time away from his family--taking into consideration that at least 6 hours per night are spent SLEEPING.

A better question would be: How much time should a HUSBAND and WIFE have alone, without the kids, per week?

Answer 4

Depends on the people involved, I'd suppose. My guy doesn't seem to need any regular time away. I, on the other hand, require for my sanity to have at least 1 evening a week to myself to do with as I please.

Answer 5

As much as your spouse takes. If no children are in the family then it's whats best for your marriage.

Answer 6

Since you're asking; it's the health of the family you should be concerned with. Who cares what's healthy for the man,except the man?

Answer 7

Depends on the man. Mine personally doesn't feel he needs any. I on the other hand feel the need for quiet/alone time every day.

Answer 8

Anyone who calls his family a unit probably doesn't get enough time away from them. I suggest a month long holiday in Bermuda. ASAP.

Answer 9

the same amount of time you give your wife away from the family!!