Can my son bring his daughter back home to the family she knows?

Question

my son's wife took their daughter out of state without his permission. there is no divorce or custody papers as of yet. The police say she was within her right as a parent to take her..so my question is..can he go and bring her back home the same way she took her?

let me also add that his daughter is 1 year old and has NEVER been away from our family and DOES NOT know her side of the family. She has been raised with us.

She left because she cheated on my son and admitted it. And yes she is a ditz!

Answer 1

He probably could, but I would not advise it. The bet thing to do now is hire a good attorney and fight this in court.

Good luck.

Answer 2

With there being no court order, I'd definitely be careful. Our court order states that an itinerary has to be provided to the other parent prior to the trip being made. But we can leave the state...

I would talk to a lawyer and just see what they say. Consultations can be free if you find the right people. And if your ex says this is okay, get something written up, notarized, and keep it on file. Provide an itinerary to her and basically, get everything signed. If when this does go to court, she says she never gave you the okay, you can have it in writing that she did.

But again, without a court order, I'd be careful! It's easier to prove something after the fact then have to defend your actions. Check out deltabravo.net. Great site with lots of information on custody situations.

And it can't hurt to ask the police if you would be protected at all. I'm sure they'll say that without a court order, you're taking a big risk. And not only that but you're putting your child at risk. The last thing you need is for her to report you for kidnapping!

**ADD**

My husband did not have a court order stating any sort of visitation and we had my stepdaughter at my house and her mother wanted her home right away. We said no and that our time was until 5:00 pm (we had our own visitation schedule as we waited for our court date) and she called the police. They showed up on our doorstep waiting for us to pass over my stepdaughter.....she was my husband's daughter and we had no court order and the police sided with her mother. We then explained the story to them and they said "get a court order now" because they know how the system works. It's far too risky to play games when a 1 yr old is involved. Be the bigger person and wait for your day in court. Document everything that this child's mother does that's both positive and negative. So you can show that she's willing to work with you guys on some days and other days she doesn't care. If you show that your son is always trying to work with the mother, a judge might lean more your way.

Just be careful, if the cops can show up on my doorstep trying to take my stepdaughter away, they can do it to your son too. And please, the one thing I'll never forget is the look on my stepdaughters face when she saw not one but FOUR police officers at our door as her mother stood on the other side. 1) that's something kids don't need to see, 2) kids shouldnt' ever have to have both parents in a room and say "pick one" because that's exactly what the cops on our doorstep did to her. 3) even with her mother submitting papers to the courts stating that my husband was her father and that we currently had every other weekend visitation between everyone....nothing protected us. Just be careful.....

Answer 3

This kidnapping thing ... is it really such a wonderful idea for the baby? What are your true objections to the mother having the baby? You can edit your question to answer if you want.

Disguised angel.. think about what you are asking, please. Will arguing forever over the baby help the baby to have a settled life? No. Momentous events happen in all our lives throughout them until we each die.

Lots of mothers are ditzs ( a ditz i presume is a person who operates on emotion rather than reasoned thought with love thrown in for good measure, a good look in the mirror might help here for you ) and still raise great daughters and sons who learn to love others and respect the lives of others.

Think about the ensuing uproar and upheaval in this grandchilds life if you pursue the mother all over America legally or illegally. Is that kind? Is it wise? Is it right?

It seems your objection is frivolous and that because you love the grandbaby you should have the grandbaby.

Think about you when you were very young and had your babies. Are you claiming before God that you were the perfect mother always right and wonderful? Come on.

Answer 4

One bad egg is enough for the legal system. Let her look the part of a bad parent for taking the daughter away from her father. He needs to look stable, concerned, level headed to get his daughter back. Her running may be for reasons you do not know about or because she is a ditz. In any case get a legal issue in front of a judge. In his home state and county not the one she moved to or he will be traveling to fight his divorce case. 15 years later we still are having to go to the county where my husband and his first wife had their divorce. The money racks up fast for hotels, travel, food, seeing the lawyer, and mail being late has cause problems. Take action now you can always stop it if they decide to stay married, IMHO.

Answer 5

Nope he can't go get her. Since there is no order of custody the mother automatically retains sole "custody" of the child since the child is so young. If your son goes and attempts to get the child the mother CAN file kidnapping charges why wasn't an order of custody/support drawn up when they split? Obviously it isn't the mother of this child that is a ditz

Answer 6

Boy that a tough one, the time is now to get a lawyer. The parents power play can destroy a child, so I pray they work together to keep the respect for each other so the child can feel safe in loving both parents at all cost.

Answer 7

he could go get her if there is no custody papers or if a petition has not been filed...but it would probably cause problems...BUT if the child is of school age then this could cause problems because he is interfering with the child's education. If the child is old enough, ask her where she would rather be.

Answer 8

because there are no papers, he has as much of a right to the child as she is..i am going through that in away with my daughter and her ex, he went from new mexico to colorado to get my grandson, the school told my daughter that if it happens again they would have to let him go with dad,she called the police when daddy dearest came to the door, and the cops made him leave...soooooooo, he didnt get my grandson, thank the good lord....but i do know parents fighting over their child is never a g ood thing, for the child.

Answer 9

I don't think the question is can he but should he. Think of his daughter being taken by the mother out of state then him trying to take her back. It would be like a tug of war with her stuck in the middle. he should get legal advice fast.

Answer 10

if the child is established as in school, then no. otherwise he can get charged with parental interferrence. and shame on him for thinking this way. if he wants custody....go file for it. do it correctly. if he crosses state line to go get her to bring her back across state lines, she can file for custody and he would be in even bigger trouble. the judge would strip him of his physical custody. don't go that route.

if he talked to the police...then he established he does not have custody. and the intent on taking the child away from his mother is destructive to the child.