Advise needed about moving out of bf's mother's house?

Question

i'm 18 and my bf is 18. we are living with his mother right now, he's still in high school and this is his last year, he just got on a program that lets him work full time that started last week and ends jan 18 of 2008. I just got a job where my bf's mother work's, i work 3 days a week and 8 hours a day without a break. and she works full time. but she has been giving us a very hard time, basicly she's a money hog to be honest, i agree that we need to pay her money but not all of our money. we get payed weekly and we payed the morgage for her which was $670 and were going to pay $60 or maybe around $100 for a battery for the car she has. and we are trying to save money so we can move out on our own and get our own car but she wont let us and plus i talked to my bf about moving out now and he says i cant move out 'till i'm done with school and plus its a lot of money to live on our own, but 2 of his very good friends want to get a place with us but were thing about doing that if they ..

are willing to pay half of everything. my parents are all the way in oregon and we are here in shippensburg,pa. but is there any advise you could give us or any idea's on what to do?

Answer 1

Suggestions-
1. Make sure that you have enough money to cover not only your rent, but deposits, renters insurance, utilities, car notes, car insurance, gas, food, etc. This stuff can really add up.

2. Consider living with friends and not each other, since you are both so young. If something were to happen to the relationship, then you would both be responsible. Even though you both might not still live there.

3. Find friends that you trust to move in with. Make sure that you are going to get money from them every month. Make sure they have a stable job, a stable life situation, etc. And Make sure that you are all on the lease, so that they can not bail on you, and leave you stuck with the liability.

4. Live within your means. Find the cheapest place that you can find, in the safest neighborhoods for your first home. A lot of people don't think it will happen to them, but vandalizm and burglery do happen. And your friends and family do not expect you to go from mom's house (or boyfriends mom's house) to a mansion.

5. Do not sacrifice bill money for entertainment money. You will make it a habbit, and it will only hurt you in the long run.

6. Most landlords require that tenants make a monthly salary of at least 3 times the monthly rent, and expect you to have established some kind of trust worthiness with your job. IE, have been there for a certain amount of time.

7. Stay in school and get an education. And wait till your out of hgh school to try and rent. I know this sounds like something parents would say, but I am not parent. I am just getting out of the same types of circumstances at the age of 24.

Answer 2

If you are 18, you are an adult entitled to sign contracts, buy cars, rent an apt, etc., and you don't need anyone's permission - including your boyfriend's - to do so.

Bear in mind that having your own place and car will mean having more expenses, so make sure you have done your research and can afford the next step.

My first suggestion would be to get a full time job - and not working with your potential mother in law - so you have more income and benefits, to protect you. Find something with growth opportunities or the flexibility to go back to school so that you have the chance for a better future.

My second suggestion would be to create your own identity. It sounds like your boyfriend and his mother call all the shots, and that's not fair. You have a mind of your own, so use it. It appears that both are taking advantage of you, so it may be time to do what YOU want to do and if your boyfriend really loves and respects you, he'll support those decisions.

If it was me, I'd move in with people you trust to pay the bills, and that may not be your boyfriend's best buddies. Why not consider stepping outside of this whole circle and doing your own thing your own way?

Just a thought. This whole story sounds very one-sided, and not in your favor.

Good luck and best wishes.

Answer 3

You are in a very big hurry, which is natural; Wait, as your bf suggests. He needs to graduate from high school first. You both need to hold a job at least six months before you try to go on your own. What if you do not satisfy your new employer and you get a permanent lay off? Rents with heat will probably be $500 per month, food $50 to $70 per week or more, plus travel to your job on the bus or a car, and withholding from your pay check, and clothing expense, etc., and what happens if you make a mistake and get pregnant? Also, as a landlord, I would not rent to you unless you had a job a least one year.

Answer 4

First of all, it's time to stop playing house and grow up and act like an adult.

What do you mean she "won't let you" move? Does she lock the door and refuse to allow you leave? Does she hold a weapon up and threatens to shoot you if you try to leave?

You aren't even working full time, and are complaining she wants help with her bills?

If there are THREE of you living there, then you and your boyfriend need to contribute to 2/3's of the household expenses....why should his mother foot the bill for you?

Honey, you WON'T FIND a better deal that you have right now and with ZERO education, and ZERO working skills...you and your boyfriend will be broke for quite some time.

If you go to COLLEGE and get a REAL JOB then you won't have to worry about money so much or shacking up with just whoever will help pay the bills.

Answer 5

MARY you are so right.

Don't you just hate those money hogs of parents

These KIDS are playing house. Yes, they are in love (or is it lust).

Thank god, there are no kids (yet).

Answer 6

go move with your parents.