Can you be nice, while suing someone for child support?

Question

When my daughter was 4 months old ,her father and I split. I was very naive, and agreed to $200/month. That was 4 years ago, and my expenses have grown. Her father and I rarely talk , and when I do ask for money he becomes very hostile. He tells me to "get a 2nd job-step up to the plate".I pay for her shelter,food,clothing and over $600 a month for daycare. I make little more than he does, but I believe he lies to me about how much he is making.She sees him every other weekend, and loves him . I do not want any animocity to exist.For my daughters sake. Her grandmother is very helpful, until I bring up taking them to court.I can ask her for money, but I think its his responsibility,not hers. I can make it without the extra help, it just seems so unfair.And it would help.I recently became sick of asking ,"can you buy her a coat,pictures,etc" and being turned away.When I bring it up to his mother she turns into a different person, and not so nice. They act like 200 is a fortune.

He lives in a house his mother bought for him, a car she bought for him and has virtually no bills. We were never married, ( BE RESPONSIBLE ,GIRLS!)Like I said , as long as I dont bring up going to court, the Grandmother is so pleasant, and like a mother to me, but if I bring up going to court, she becomes outraged and turns against me.She recently said "dont ask him for money, you know to ask me", it seems like she is protecting him from having to pay more.She was a single mother with little help, it seems as though she would know how this feels. We should have never made a verbal agreement, I should have gone to court in the first place.There is no relationship between the father and I , so there are no personal reasons for doing this, (there were when my daughter was 4 months-and I DIDNT take him to court) I just want his help. What is the process once you file papers ( he has never been late and doesnt owe me anything) and I cannot afford an attorney, should I be okay?

Answer 1

If there's animosity, he brought it upon himself. I get the impression that you two agreed upon this verbally, without any way of enforcing payments?

Go to court and get it established in writing how much you should get, they will take into account his income and yours (with employment records and pay stubs to prove it), and they will extract the correct amount from him. If he refuses, then he doesn't have to see his daughter. Simple as that.

It seems like neither the father nor the grandmother don't want the courts involved due to issues with pride and image. You need to swallow yours and do what's best for your daughter, which is to do your part to provide for her.

Do you have any support from your family? The father is not wrong by saying that you might need to get a 2nd job, but that shouldn't replace his paternity obligations.

Answer 2

Even if you don't want the money you have a duty to your child so get money and save up for college and things like that.

You get a free lawyer through your state's child support system and they'll file everything and figure out how much you should get and enforce payments.

I think it's horrible that he and his mother seem to treat your child simply as an expense.

Good luck

Answer 3

Get a lawyer and take it to court. The court will decide how much he has to pay. Talk to family services or legal aid and they should be able to help you. It is always better to have a legal agreement as it is easier to enforce.

Answer 4

Get him to pay up. Take him to court. Get all your figures right for the judge, they don't take **** from people like that. If he loved his kid he would give with out even putting up a battle. Do they think a child cost only $200 a month, my gosh tell them to grow up and get the hell on with it. What can you pay with that money, NOTHING.

Good luck girl and just be BRAVE.