Afraid to leave but afraid to stay?

Question

I have been married about 4.5 yrs the marriage on a whole has been very emotionally rocky for me. I am going to be turning 26 yrs old soon and my husband is 39 yrs old we have a daughter(adopted)who is 3.5 yrs old after i could not concieve even though i had no medical issue.My hubby has a son from his first marriage so he did not care.Looking back i think i was more infatuated with the gifts he was giving me,i liked being shown off and all the attention.It felt like love but my feelings started diminishing shorty after we got married because i was so lonley.My husband travels 4-5 months out of the year he will let me buy whater i want but is cold and ignores me 90% of the time.He is very controling expecting a copy of my schedule for him to aprove so he can call to check in as much as he likes.Emotionally cruel i suspect an affair and physically has shoved/pinned 5x and 2 days ago slapped then shoved i fell into a glass cabinent(i needed stiches).I signed a pre-nup and have never..

worked through out my marriage.I slipped up with an ex.bf who recently bought the shop my hubby takes his muscle cars too.I was not thinking all i wanted was someone to talk too and it was dumb.I'm now pregnant and terrified?

Answer 1

seems as if u really don't have a choice as u can't trust the man, or your future with him. men do get cruel when they are betraying u and want out of the marriage. begin making plans now, because your not going to be able to stay in this marriage. its easier to be alone than be mistreated and abused. u were lonely thought he loved u, its not your fault. but get out as soon as u can abuse doesn't change.

Answer 2

What you will most likely do is what you have done before; find a guy to solve the problem. He is out there. You may already know him. There is really no mystery here. Have the baby or don't. Get a divorce or don't. Get a job or don't. Move in with a guy or don't. There are not that many options.

Just know that your first instinct is going to be to make the exact same sort of decision that got you in this situation to begin with. And it will likely have a very similar result.

Imagine you are someone else, and you have been given the task of rescuing you. What would you say to yourself? I hope it would be, get a job, make friends who have jobs, and get involved in something you really enjoy. You're going to be okay. It's going to be different; but different is good. It's not like your choices have made you happy. Try something completely different.

You do not need a baby right now. And you don't have one yet. Terminating a pregnancy is a valid option. At least you know that you have the option of having a child when everything else is right.

If you know where you are going, you'll figure out what path will get you there. Choose your destiny.

Answer 3

What you will likely do is what you have completed earlier; come across a guy to sparkling up the subject. he's obtainable. you will possibly be able to already comprehend him. there is quite no secret right here. Have the child or do not. break up or do not. Get a job or do not. circulate in with a guy or do not. There are actually not that many techniques. in basic terms comprehend that your first instinct is going to be to make the coolest comparable type of decision that have been given you in this occasion first of all. and it would probably have an exceedingly comparable effect. think of you're somebody else, and you have been given the job of rescuing you. What might you're saying to your self? i'm hoping it may be, get a job, make friends who've jobs, and get entangled in something you particularly rejoice with. you would be ok. it is going to likely be diverse; yet diverse is stable. it is not comparable to your possibilities have made you happy. try something thoroughly diverse. you don't desire a infant authentic now. and you have not have been given one yet. Terminating a being pregnant is a valid option. a minimum of you already know which you have the alternative of having a infant while each little thing else is right. in case you already know the place you're going, you will decide what direction gets you there. % your destiny.

Answer 4

Get away from the creep! You will be helped by your county's social services. Just call and find out what to do or have someone that cares do it for you. You will be fine without him. You were fine before you met him, right? You'll be fine without him. Don't tell him anything about what you are planning to do in hopes he'll straighten up and treat you better. He may just for a little while just so you won't leave and then he'll be even more abusive once you're back with him. Don't be manipulated anymore! Go with your gut and leave to a friend or family member's home. Your community will set you up if all else fails. But once you leave, have no contact with him what-so-ever! God is with you, be brave!

Answer 5

A big oops. You need to start respecting yourself enough to care about you. And then you need to care for your children, the adopted on and the one in you. When you respect and love yourself you will lose some of your fear of being on your own. Do you really fear being on your own more than you do staying? Your question suggests otherwise. I'm sorry things are tough right now. But I think you deserve better. A loving woman's shelter would probably be better than a cold empty house. Email me if you want someone to talk to.

Answer 6

signing a prenup doesn't mean that you can't divorce his ***, yeah he may have money and you don't but that pre-nup doesn't mean he doesn't have to pay child support and alimony, anyways if he's abusive and as controlling as you say then thats not the kind of environment i would want to raise a child. Money is no reason to stay with a man like this. You only have one child, yes it will be difficult but you can make it on your own. There are womens clinics you and your child can go to that will protect you from him and will help you get all your paperwork started for divorce, child support, and alimony, also help you in getting started on your own. I hope this helps and please don't stay with this man for the financial security, because obviously this is the only security you have from this man.

Answer 7

Okay, now imagine that instead of you that was pushed/shoved and required stitches, it was your daughter. Would you still be asking this question?

You need to pack a suitcase, find a lawyer and get out. There are no other options, not really. You can work through the other stuff (the absence, the lonliness, etc, etc), but when you're being abused you need to get out, regardless of how shaky your finances are.

Answer 8

You better get out now. Leave and do not tell him where you are or that you are going. If you are scared he will hurt you get a restraining order against him. He obviously has a control problem and trust me it only gets worse. If you continue to let him get away with it he will continue to abuse you or worse you will get so fed up you will end up doing something you should not have and he will get you in trouble for it. I know I have experienced it first hand. Do not let him get away with it ever again. Run as fast as you can and take the kid.

Answer 9

oh my dear you are in trouble look the first thing i hope your smart enough to do is make shure you can prove you were physically abused in your marriage it sounds like you need to run and fast but be smart about it dont do things in a rush talk to a lawyer explain your situation you need to get out of it i think you know that imagine him finding out you cheated and the baby you got coming isnt his i cant imagine youd be safe prepare for the worst and fight it out i promise if your a good centered person youll make it on your own be smart

Answer 10

call 1-800-370-4103 crisis hot line. they will help you with everything you need. they will even move you out of state to another shelter if your afraid of him finding you. tell the ex b/f that your pregnant and once you get to a safe place and feel no treat then you will contact him to let him know your safe.