Everything has to be "his idea" when it comes to affection/sex?

Question

My husband and I have been married 20+ years, and its a good marriage except for the fact that he thinks he has to initiate all sex or affection. He gets turned off if it is my idea. When I start to be affectionate with him, he says I'm too needy or clingy. It kinda hurts my feelings when he pushes me away. Of course in the beginning of our marriage, I had to fight him off. I still look as good as I did then, haven't gained weight or let myself go. Any advise?

Answer 1

Well....it may be an ego thing. If he feels he is not being "man" enough if some area this may be his way of making up for it. (i.e., if he's not as successful at work, or you're making more money, etc.).

Or perhaps he thinks of women that are "sexually aggressive" as being unattractive.

The best thing to do is to sit down and talk to him about it. Ask him why he doesn't seem to like it when you are the aggressor. The answer might suprise you and/or allow you to understand him better. Do NOT attack or be defensive, just say (lovingly, maybe after you've made love) "you know honey, I love sex with you. But it really hurts my feelings when you don't seem to like me initiating sex. Am I doing something wrong?" and let him talk.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Thats very weird...I am with a husband that enjoys a sorta clingy wife, he loves to snuggle and make out with me when I initiate it. That would really hurt my feelings if I had a husband that didn't like that. Perhaps be more gentle with your approach, or try being more coy and playful. Change something about your approach is my suggestion, perhaps the hugs and kisses mushy stuff doesnt turn him on as much. Good luck.

Answer 4

I am sorry for my lack of advise. But I hope my answer will be enlightening.

This problem is a result of his ego. You know men have fragile egos. But what you should know is there is likely not much you can do without damaging his little ego.

But I still think you have hope. You need to be more creative in your seduction of him. Now there is the topic of your next question. How to seduce your husband in a sneaky fashion.


Good luck. Just make it fun.

Answer 5

try being a bit more subtle in your overtures. Try out some simple eye movements or a certain walk or something to see what might spark his interest without him knowing you were even doing it. Read up on the non verbal cues people send one another.

Good luck!

Answer 6

Sounds like he's bored with your sex it happens a lot with men try to find something to spice it up wear sexy outfits to bed and around the house to seduce him but let him think it's his idea ...

Answer 7

sopunds just like my hubby
i finally gave up trying
we have grown apart
17 years

Answer 8

how stupid is he? if your wife is willing take her up on it!!!!!