he has been working long hours and he has been tierd but am a little bother that we didn't go out or he didn't bring anything home but a chessecake! i don't expect a romantic dinner since we have two kids to bring along with, we could of gone out as a family, i think he still should have done something to celebrate our day, should i let this go or should i go to him about this?
2007-11-19 02:12:46 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sometimes women have a tendency to sit around and wait for the man to be the one taking all the action, while we sit and complain about him never doing anything for us or because he didn't do it right. I do understand wanting to feel appreciated and wanting him to put some real energy into coming up with exciting and fun ideas. However, in his defense, you just said that he's been working long hours and has been tired (right)???
Well then maybe you should have planned a special dinner for the two of you with some candle lights. You could have planned it all out, made sure the children were feed first so that you could put them to bed early or asked someone to take the kids for a few hours (there had to be someone). You could have had some nice music going, a bath running with bubbles and candles to help relax him after woking (So Hard) like you said:):) and for you, nice little nighty or just something you know he finds sexy. You could serve him his wine/drink in the tub and give him a run down of the nites menu/plans, washed his back or wherever he may have needed a hand and made the best of it.
You have to realize, it's "His Anniversary TOO", but you sat back to watch what he was going to do "for you". It's almost as though you didn't expect him to remember and I'm sure maybe you have reason to feel that way, but I just think sometimes as women, we expect and want them to do it all and that's how we short change ourselves.
I do understand that maybe you cook all the time and you just wanted a night without having to prepare your own dinner, but that's where knowing your husband comes into play. If you knew that there was a possiblity that he'd for get and that he probably didn't have anything planned, then maybe all week long instead of trying to see if he would even remember the day without you mentioning it... You should have told him what you wanted to do for your anniversary and planned for it. I know the feeling of just wanting to know that they still find us special enough to remember and put the extra effort into make our anniversary a special night without you having to remind them. However, the cold hard reality of the matter is... " It doesn't work out that way". Some women might say, they were glad to have the cheesecake because at least he remembered it was something you liked and he didn't forget the day entirely.
What I would suggest doing (all though your anniversary is over)... Plan a night as though it was as special as your anniversary. If you can't afford to go out, then make it a dinner for two at home. It doesn't have to be an elaborate dinner, just something nice. GET A BABY SITTER, a niece, a nephew, cousin, aunt, uncle, mom, dad or a good friend, but find someone that can give you two a nite or even just a few hours. You two need a spark to flare. Try it!
2007-11-19 03:00:25 · answer #1 · answered by kskate2jbs 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, There are some things to consider.
1. He remembered
2. He did something
3. That's more than alot of men do.
It's sounds like you have a wonderful man, don't blow it over a cheesecake. Because it's his anniversery too, right? Did you get a sitter for the kids for a couple hours or over night? Did you go out and buy something sexy for him? Did you simply write him a letter saying why after all these years you still love him? Did you at least put the kids to bed early?You see how easy it is to say well you didn't do enough? If he has a job and works to keep it. Love what you got, it could be gone tomorrow.
I'm just saying as a husband myself, who does all the romancing, well my wife used to leave lil letters for me, which was cute. But it's our day too, just a lil consideration would go a long way.
People just seem to be disapointed, because it's not how they invisioned it happening.
Try this get a sitter for the kids and when your hubby walks through the door, jump his bones right then and there, and see if he says anything about well you should have done more. If he does I'll pay you. Instead I bet he'll take you to any restraunt you want to go to. It's called being appriative of what someone does for you. We generally don't like the crazy ties you give but we usually don't say well you could have done more, right? The bottom line is cut him some slack, it sounds like you have a great gift in a good man every day of the year
Hope this helps
2007-11-19 02:57:10 · answer #2 · answered by walker9842 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie there are many ppl who dont get that! You need not be so immature. You said he worked late. How do you know he isnt planning to do something on the weekend where he may have someone to watch the kids? You need to grow up and realize this wont be the first or last time you may not get the big Sha-Bang like you feel you deserve. You have something that alot of ppl may not have and thats a husband who has a job and before you complain be thankful that he has a job, his health and strength. Dont get so caught up in the hype that you forget the little things that are done count too.
2007-11-19 02:24:33 · answer #3 · answered by Sugastack 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What did you do to celebrate the day for him? I wouldnt make a big deal out of it. If he is working long hours, he probably just wants to come home and relax. He did bring home dessert and thats more then most people get.
Maybe on the weekend suggest that you go out for dinner to celebrate.
2007-11-19 02:21:56 · answer #4 · answered by TAS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to agree with the majority of the answers: Be happy that you received the cake. He had to go out of his way, after working long hours, to get the cheesecake for you. What did you do for him? I say there are many, many bigger problems in life...just let it go.
2007-11-19 02:40:08 · answer #5 · answered by GoGreen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was his anniversary as well....Like you said...he has been working long hours and is tired....Is it possible that you can celebrate when he has a day off? I think you should let it go and plan something when he hasn't been at work all day...I know that is how I would prefer to celebrate my anniversary...on a day where we both aren't worn out....
2007-11-19 02:18:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can see two reasons, why he did not take you out. for one he may be very tired. two, yes he could have took you out, but with the kids? an anniversary is a time for both of you should spend time alone, together. but with kids. to him that may look as just another time out with the family, not and anniversary. both of you need time alone together. so he may have seen it as. 'he did not know how to be alone with you. so he had no choice or idea what to do.
2007-11-19 03:04:55 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your anniversary is the celebration of the happiest day of your life....so for me and my guy it's VERY important. You need to sit him down, tell him it really made you feel awful that he didn't want to celebrate the day you vowed to be together forever and that you're concerned that he's working so much that it's interferring with your relationship.
2007-11-19 02:29:53 · answer #8 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The poor man is busting his hiny supporting you and you are complaining? He brought home cheesecake, be happy he remembered. You are the one who should have set a romantic table at home...
2007-11-19 02:17:36 · answer #9 · answered by kitkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He only brought home a cheesecake? OH MY how dreadful! I think you need to be more appreciative of him especially if he is working long hours! I think it was very nice that he brought home the cake!
2007-11-19 02:17:26 · answer #10 · answered by Karen S 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋