Husband having close female friends whom he says he is compatible and comfortable with .?

Question

I recently found a seperate secret email ID s that he has been using for one of them. Initially he was deleting all his messages and call logs and I never doubted him a bit.But now I know.If I tell him that it hurts me if he talks for long hours or text messages them frequently. the calls last anywhere between 1 hour to 1 1/2 hours.He claims that he has the right to think and behave in the way he likes and he needs personal space.He says the seperate email ID was created as he was afraid of my comments and resentment. I dont know if what am doing is invading his personal space? I am deeply hurt and confused.help

Answer 1

Wow, if I were in your shoes I would sincerely question his intentions. Secret e-mails, long phone calls (I don't even talk to my girlfriends that long), text messaging?!. It definetly sounds like there is an intamacy issue between them. If my husband was doing some of this stuff I would be throwing a fit! Put a stop to it now! He thinks he can get away with it because you seem to be allowing it to continue. If he's so involved over the phone, e-mail or whatever I would question how much more he is involved that you are unaware of. If it were me, I would be listening in on these calls if possible, getting ito those e-mails. Sounds very fishy. Of course he's saying he needs his personal space, he doesn't want you to find out what's really going on. I'm so very sorry that you are in this situation. I would give this guy an ultimatum, he's got to get rid of the other women in his life or lose you! I don't think men and women are meant to have close relationships with the other sex outside the marriage because it will only lead to trouble. This sounds crazy, be strong and confront him directly about this issue and get it resolved, for better or worse.

Answer 2

I am just wondering why your spouse was okay with the friendship earlier than but is insecure now, very instantly. How long have you and the 25 yr historical been pals? Is your spouse relatively asking you to end the friendship? I didn't get that affect except the end of the publish. Probably you and your spouse should have a speak about what an "emotional affair" is. It could be that she is insecure about dropping your friendship to this girl... That you will stop confiding in her and open up to your pal rather. It sounds such as you two have excellent conversation, so hold that up. I don't feel it concerns, fairly, whether or not you or she is being unfair. Is the opposite girl your only pal? Or is she just your closest friend? Are trying having some more friend time with your wife, particularly shut emotional time. Have you ever concept of getting together all three of you, together with some other buddies? Perhaps if she sees that you are not attracted to this girl it's going to ease her intellect... But i am guessing her considerations should not sexual, but emotional in nature.

Answer 3

Sweetie,

I know how you feel. In a sense you are invading his privacy and personal space. However, if you feel it is justified because you are afraid he may be cheating on you, then forgive yourself.

If he is talking with another woman or women for hours on end, then I have to wonder why he is not talking to you.

You must know that the key to a marriage is COMMUNICATION and RESPECT.

It sounds like both are lacking at the moment. It's probably time to remedy that. Ask him to sit and talk to you when you have time for a lengthy discussion. Ask him to be honest with you and promise the same in return. Then ask him what it is that he talks about with these other women. Listen to his answer without getting upset. Really listen to what he is saying. Explain to him over and over that the two of you need to be honest with each other. Without honesty and trust, you may as well call the divorce attorney right now.

Tell him how it makes you feel that he is talking to these other women. My guess is that you are feeling jealous of the time he is spending confiding in someone else.

Once you get this out in the open, you will be able to deal with it together and maybe create a new depth to your relationship. Heck, why don't you ask him to call you - if you have cell phones, he could be in the next room, but the perceived anonymity of being just a voice on the phone can be exciting. If you manage this, say things to him over the phone that you don't normally say face to face. Feel free to flirt and be a little vixen. He'll certainly enjoy it and when the flirty phone call is over, who knows what will happen when you are in the same room again. Sparks could fly!

Good Luck

Answer 4

You are his wife and you have the right to know what he is doing at all times. Yes, people do need their space but this is not an instance where they do. He is obviously hiding something and I can bet you something is going on with him and these other women. Why would he be texting or e-mailing them? That doesn't make any sense. He created a separate ID so he could be sneaky -- that's the only reason. I would personally give him an ultimatum to stop or I'd leave. Why should you have to be subjected to that?

Answer 5

i'm purely questioning why your spouse grew to become into happy with the friendship earlier yet is insecure now, very all of sudden. How long have you ever and the 25 365 days previous been pals? Is your spouse fairly asking you to end the friendship? i did no longer get that impact until eventually the tip of the submit. perchance you and your spouse might desire to have a communication approximately what an "emotional affair" is. it must be that she is insecure approximately dropping your friendship to this woman... which you will supply up confiding in her and divulge on your buddy rather. It seems such as you 2 have sturdy verbal replace, so save that up. i do no longer think of it concerns, fairly, despite in case you or she is being unfair. Is the different woman your purely buddy? Or is she purely your closest buddy? attempt having some greater buddy time along with your spouse, fairly close emotional time. have you ever seen getting mutually all 3 of you, alongside with another pals? perchance if she sees which you're actually not fascinated in this woman that's going to ease her suggestions... yet i'm guessing her concerns are actually not sexual, yet emotional in nature.

Answer 6

This is BULL.
I have been here.
Trust me noone is talking for an hour for nothing and he wouldn't get defensive if it was all on the up and up.

Don't fool yourself.
He wouldn't need secret ID's etc if he was being totally honest. He is already admitting he is hiding it from you.
I bet if you had that password to that new email, you wouldn't like what u saw in there.
Girl, there are too many guys out there who arent interested in games and are really ready to be all about you.

Your happiness is most important

Answer 7

He created a secret e-mail because he KNEW that you would be upset...and KNEW that it was wrong. Don't let him blame you because you would feel a certain way...I think most wives would be upset. I've had numerous experiences with bf's secretly e-mailing, calling, and texting and it's NEVER been innocent. If it WAS truly innocent he wouldn't have to hide, and he wouldn't try to make you feel bad for finding out. I have no problem with male/female platonic friendships but when they're hidden I have never found them to be platonic....and sometimes "personal space" has to take a back seat to the health of the marriage.

Answer 8

I think you should leave him. Marriage is sacred and there should be no other women on his e mail. Thats just wrong.
You should be the only woman he is comfortable and compatible with.
Men are dogs....always sniffing around and trying to hone in on other women. He is getting by with something and he knows it and if he cares that little about your feelings, then he does not love you. I personally would never e mail another man because I am in love the man I am with and I would never offend him.
You love him and he is hurting you. It will only get worse and your worth more. Pak your stuff and move on.

Answer 9

He is obviously trying to hide something from you. And he is trying to turn it around on you to make you feel bad for something that you shouldn't feel bad about. He is your husband and if the two of you aren't compatible, and he doesn't feel like he can talk to you like he does these other women, then you really need to consider your options and hopefully give him the boot. Trust is number 1 and if you can't trust him you might as well call it quits, because it will eat at you and stir up more arguments in the future. Hope all goes well for you.

Answer 10

Danger is ahead,,,, well any way not to make a joke but , o my, You are his wife, he should not be e-mailing other women, period, that is BS, and i should know my ex , 10 years together, started out that way, then started meeting with the women. i just don't want to see you get hurt, but this doesn't sound good. do you let him have outside relationships,? if not , and i guess NOT, then you need to get a couselor, or a lawyer, i feel for ya, been there, good luck, be strong, and take care of the problem