i'm under a lot of pressure at work. my husband says HE is going to see my boss about it. is this appropriate?

Question

i'm often upset due to problems at work. my husband,who can be a little bit controlling, is talking about HIM going in to speak to my boss to see if there is anything they can to do ease the pressure. personally i think this is intrusive. it is MY job, MY boss, and MY responsibility to do something about it. should a husband be behaving like this.he says i'm his wife, therefore he is responsible for supporting me in any way he can

Answer 1

I think it is inappropriate for your husband to speak to your supervisor. How would he feel if one of his employee's spouses came to complain about something.

If you're under a lot of pressure at work, then you need to speak to your supervisor by yourself. Your husband talking to him/her could cause unwarranted problems for you.

Good luck!

Answer 2

OMG your boss will loose all respect for you and you will loose your credibility in the company. That is worse than taking your mother or parents to a school meeting when you were naughty. You need your husbands support not input and control. This is your problem and the only way you will get the results you want is if you do the hard work and speak to the people about your position, your problems and if your not happy with the outcome move up the chain until you get the result you want.

Answer 3

No, this is not appropriate. Your right, you should be the one talking to your boss. Everyone has stress in their jobs. Would you go talk to his boss if he was all stressed out over work? It is our job as a spouse to support emotionally but we can't take over for the other person in the working world. Tell him that you appreciate his support but you will take care of things. From now on when you talk to him about the amount of pressure you are under at work. Make sure you start the conversation by telling him that you just need someone to talk to and you don't expect him to do anything but listen. If he can't do that then you need to stop talking to him about work and stressful situations. Instead, talk to a girl friend.

Answer 4

Yes he is responsible for supporting you but not like that. He is likely to get you fired unless you have a good relationship with your boss and they are super nice. I would tell him to butt out however controlling he is. Also a hint try not to bring your work home with you as in telling him about it. Say you had a good day even if it sucked. Otherwise you are adding fuel to the fire and he will insist on taking matters into his own hands which may end in a mess. Tell him after your next shift that you sorted things out yourself as you had , had enough. Hopefully he will believe you enough not to go in there and talk with your boss. Good luck.

Answer 5

If he wants to support you, he'll back off. It is absolutely inappropriate for your husband to intervene in this way. If your boss was harassing you or threatening you, your husband would be right to step in, but this is your problem to deal with. Talk to your boss and ask about getting extensions on any assignments you have. Appeal to him or her and tell them you're feeling pressure, but can handle it if you just have more time, or whatever help you think is appropriate (perhaps an assistant). Tell your husband you are glad he wants to help out, but he can support you by listening when you need to vent, and continuing to be loving and help out at home. Not by storming in there and jeopardizing your job.

Answer 6

Your husband needs to start looking for another job, bad economy or not, and not give notice at this job until he finds another one. Even if it is at the same salary, he can tell this boss now that while he regretfully submits his resignation, the other company made him a financial offer he simply couldn't refuse in these uncertain times. If she's as you say she is, it shouldn't take her too long to find another "confidante" and gradually lose touch with the both of you as time goes by,

Answer 7

It would be frowned upon by the people in your job, and they would likely just treat you worse.

That being said, you should take matters in your own hands and see your boss. If you are often upset about problems at work and venting to your husband about it while not doing anything, no wonder he wants to go talk to your boss about it.

Answer 8

Your husband's reaction is quite normal, he is acting protective, which is part of male nature (in the animal kingdom mamals are quite agressive when it comes to protecting their family). However since we are human beings and not animals, your husband needs to learn to overcome this urge.

Im not going to lie to you Helen, I too would have a tendancy to react like your husban if MY wife was mistreated at work. However, in the end of the day, it IS your job, it IS your responsibility.

I suggest you simply tell your husband that you will take care of it, and that he shouldn't worry.

Good luck, and don't let people mistreat you and take advantage of you. You are an employee, not a slave.

Answer 9

You will be thought less of at work, by your boss AND your co-workers. Doesn't matter if it's your idea or your husband's for him to see your boss. The only time it's appropriate for someone else to intervene on your behalf with your boss is if it is your union steward doing the intervening. I can understand your husband wanting to help but if he "fights your battles" at work it will only make things worse. Talk to your boss yourself. Don't rant and rave, don't whine, don't be insubordinate. Just calmly, and firmly, state your issues. It will help TREMENDOUSLY if you have solutions to these issues that you can present to your boss (bosses love employees that are problem-solvers).

Answer 10

it's nice of him trying to do so but i think it's more appropriate for you to settle it yourself because as you say it is you job,your boss and resposibility.plus,it's kind of like school thing you know when parents go and see you teacher when your teacher give you too much work or there's something wrong at school...you know..just tell your hubby that you really appreciate it but you can handle this thing.you are lucky to have him as your husband!he's very supportive and protective.

Answer 11

He ABSOLUTELY should not interfere with your job.

Should he be behaving like this? I have no answer for that.

Try to find someone else to discuss work issues with, so hubby will not get so fired up and tempted to "help"!

You could also ask hubby to rub your back, and state that it would be the best gift he could give to help ease the stress at work.