My husband won't touch me anymore b/c I gained weight.. are all men so superficial? (opinion..pics)?

Question

I gained a lot of weight with my pregnancy. I had an eating disorder for 11 years, and although I had gestational diabetes while I was pregnant and had to maintain a very strict and healthy diet, they weight just PILED on. FAST. I weighed about 130 when my husband and I were married, and now I'm much heavier. Everyone says I'm still pretty, but I think they're just being nice.. Please look at all the pics (I promise they are safe, I'm linking from my photobucket acct.) and tell me the truth. Does my husband ignore me and refuse to touch me because I'm completely disgusting now?


When we were married:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v38/sugar_coma82/Random%20pics%20of%20me/dork.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v38/sugar_coma82/Random%20pics%20of%20me/7-1.jpg

Pregnant:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v38/sugar_coma82/Random%20pics%20of%20me/100_3581.jpg

Now:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v38/sugar_coma82/Random%20pics%20of%20me/glow.jpg

More current pics:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v38/sugar_coma82/Random%20pics%20of%20me/76576.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v38/sugar_coma82/Random%20pics%20of%20me/erte.jpg

When I was sick:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v38/sugar_coma82/Random%20pics%20of%20me/untitled34.jpg

Answer 1

Well I'm sorry to say but thats a man for you...I think you are still beautiful either way but men are so focused on the outter apperence (not all but most)

You have put on weight and that happens to women when they have a child..

He so should be more sensitive knowning that you have had an eating disorder in the past..I hope that you dont fall back into that. If you do plan to lose any weight be sure you are doing it for your health, your baby and yourself...not to please him...

Answer 2

Ok, as the husband of a bbw (big beautiful woman) weighing more than I do, I'll say you're extremely pretty, you've got curves in all the right places, and anyone who doesn't find you attractive needs their eyes testing.

No, you're not as near to the accepted standards of beauty as you were, those models who don't eat a whole lettuce leave...lol, but you're older and have a child.

If I was your husband I'd be telling you were beautiful every day, and showing you in so many ways.

Whats the rest of your relationship with hubby like? Is he a good father? Is he working hard, maybe too hard?

Can you get someone to look after the little one for a weekend, book a hotel room, take your sexiest clothes, have a drink or two, and then ..... well, work it out for yourself...lol

Good luck, and next time you post make it a thank you for all our advice. XX

Answer 3

Your still pretty.
I don't want to say anything bad.
Your face is beautiful, but your body isn't as nice as you once were. I understand what you went through and why you gained weight. And I know how hard it can be to loose that weight. But if you think about it as a matter as: Is your husband and kids worth loosing weight for? It might be a little easier to gain that will power you need to keep on a diet and exercise plan. I have friends that swear by the weight watchers program. I know it's like $10 a week to go to but I know it works to. Think of how much better you will think about yourself if you were able to fit into that dress that you had in that first picture? Or how much easier it will be to bend over to tie your kids shoes. Or be able to play with them at the park and not totally get winded.. Or for your husband be able to get into that one position the two of you enjoyed so much when you were thin.. :) Good luck.. You are still very pretty..

Answer 4

I had diabetes when I was pregnant for the second time and also I was 130ish when or less my whole life and the second pregnancy I was 220 when I gave birth and my husband still was attracted to me. But I do know many people that went through what you are going through and if he is not touching you for this reason and you are sure of it. Did it just happen after you gave birth and is still happening if so then he has a problem not you. If you are happy with your weight then stay that way. If he is not making you happy then maybe you should tell him and if blows it off and says it is not true then I would make myself happy and if that means leaving him then do it. I would not be able to stay in a relationship with no physical envlovement. Is this ok with you? You need to be happy with yourself and if you are then leave him you don't need a man to validate you. But you do deserve to be loved in all ways.

Answer 5

I feel for you.

I had just the opposite situation.

After I had my first child, i gained 20 lbs.

Before I got pregnant I weighed 122 lbs.

We were visiting my granny and she told me to get busy and loose weight.

My husband told her to leave me alone.

He said he didn't have to worry about me finding some one else.

He likes to buy fattening foods trying to keep the extra weight on.

It's hard and I don't say anything but I'm thankful that he cares about me and not how much I weigh.

Love is love even though sometimes it's painful to a point.

He needs to love you, help you, and tell him I said so.

Answer 6

I think you're very beautiful. Speaking on behalf of bigger women such as myself. I think this is definitely something you and your husband need to talk about. Most likely he is just worried about your health and would like to see you a little leaner. If lately you've been lacking in self-esteem that could be another problem. Because most times, if you don't see yourself to be beautiful other people won't either. Good luck

Answer 7

There is nothing superficial about not feeling sexually attracted to someone who has gained too much weight. It is not appealing to many men

You can loose the weight, which you probably will after a while if you set your mind to it. I will say this, your face is pretty and it seems like you take care of your skin. You would be a drop dead gorgeous woman if you lost that weight you should lose. Just do it.

Answer 8

First off, you ARE beautiful, I'm not even lying, after seeing your photos then reading the story, it made me sad that you thought you weren't.
It's good to hear you got over your eating disorder though, and yeah, you do gain weight after that, but if he isn't being supportive, then that's horrible, you're just getting used to all this, and he should be there helping you through it.

You're not disgusting at all, you're adorable hun.
I promise.

Answer 9

wow.. I'm a girl and honestly I would love to look like you , weight or no weight, you are GORGEOUS!

But since you have been married so long, were sick, have kids, etc. It could be other issues in the marriage besides just the weight. I doubt that would be the WHOLE issue. You should really just ask him or take him to counseling. I bet you will find some underlying issues. You guys just need to communicate.

Answer 10

you have put on a lot but some men are like that, just like some women are like that too, its hard to see how much you really have gained cuz you only showing face pics. its possible he doesnt want to touch you becuz of the weight, anybody can say what they would or wouldnt do but until you actually in that position you dont know. its true you still look nice but a heavy woman isnt appealin to a lot of guy me myself i love a BBW but thats onlyif she wa sthat way in the first place i dont want to get with a smaller woman then have her to gain a lot of weight and expect me to look at her the same way. i would leave a woman for losing too much weight