my wife and i always clash and we had a problem that made us lose interests about each other (as a result we lost communication). i married her last year. i need some tips about starting a conversation (SPECIALLY FROM LADIES) also, i believe in change i think some day she will change her behaviour with me to the better.
-my problem with her is that she do not accept my views and ideas about our house and future plans. she sees that her mentality is better than mine.
-she is not interested in sex. but i do and i do not want to commit adultry(I WANT TO CONVOY THIS MESSAGE INDIRECTLY TO HER AND I NEED LADIES HELP).
-sometimes she insults and belittles me. this make me mad but i always forgive her and i ask her not to do it again gentily
-i like her attitude with little kids so i think she will be a good mother and she always take care of me when it comes to lunch and dinner. she always ask me to dress in good shape(that is someting i like in a woman)in spite
i need communicat
2007-11-18 19:13:24 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You both need to sit down together. You must be totally honest with her. If she will not listen maybe you could write her a letter or ask a family member or good friend to help you to communicate with her.
Maybe try a little romance too. If all else fails try councelling,professional help is always the best way forward. Good luck.
2007-11-18 19:24:36 · answer #1 · answered by lila 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try and pay attention to your wife. See what is she's doing every day, what is she watching, what she likes. And from there, communicate, ask, talk about those things. Try and see her point of view. If it's raining, ask her to watch the rain with you and talk about the rain...take her hand and go in the rain and kiss :) Try and know her better and then u'll know how to start a conversation with her. If you make no effort to know her better (by asking questions) you can't communicate the way you want.
And about mentality...what if she thinks her mentality is better than yours? Let her think it is, don't argue about it, you are the man and women like to be spoiled. Your plans and future...different opinions, that might be a problem. In a marriage the plans and the future are made together. You both make compromises and none of you should ignore views and other plans.Go to some marriage counseling. Learn to listen to each other. Are you guys coming from two different backgrounds, culture and religion?
2007-11-18 19:28:57 · answer #2 · answered by Divinaâ?¢ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not married or anything. I'm a teen but Ive always seen my parents agrue. But yes, the problem is communicate and you need to improve that (sorry if I sound b!tchy. thats not my intent) In order to achieve that, you need to slowly try to happy-talk to her like complimenting her. After that when she's in a good mood, talk about her one-sided views and how u disagree. Also, try to think of a compomise that you two would accept or agree on. After all the cause is she not accepting your views. What women love is when they are listened and spoiled but dont let her get away with everything! Oh yea by the way, dont let sex get involved to make everything alrighty cuz it doesnt really work out. no offense (well at least I dont think it would). Dont let her insult you too because if you let it happen consistently, it's gonna get worse and become abusive (ive seen it all). I'm glad you acknowleedge but try to make her stop once and for all and tell her how you feel. Like would she like it if u did the same to her? I hope this helps. Good luck!
2007-11-18 19:25:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always restarted communication with my estranged wife...by giving her the cold shoulder until she came back asking for me...
sounds bad, but whoever comes back first usually gets the short end in the inevitable power struggles that are a part of every relationship. You have to start back up as equals.
Let her know that you miss and desire her, but dont beg or show weakness just leave her alone until she comes back around
Mostly, why are you married to someone who you cant communicate with....and how could this possibly be the best place for your answers.
dont you have any shared friends, do you have a shared family life...can you use a thrid person to help mediate
do you even really want to bother...or are beating a dead horse.
its a big aquarium out here..ya know
2007-11-18 19:22:34 · answer #4 · answered by sunforged 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best advice, get off the internet and start putting that energy into the areas of your life that should matter most; start communicating directly with the people that should matter most in your life. Unfortunately, technology is taking us further down the road of non-direct communication and anti-social behaviours that create societal breakdowns be that within the home environment and/or beyond. How much time you spend in sites like this? How much time you spend hiding away behind a computer or a TV screen or other techno gadgets that contribute to the breakdown of communication? Get off this site and start communicating with your wife - NOW.
2007-11-18 19:20:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if she really loves u, she has to give u d due respect. u been d head of d family should not comprommise ur dignity. She has to be submissive, in doing this there will be peace cos 2 leaders can never pilot a ship. Also, are u really sure shes in love? if not theres no way both of u can share, care , plan and understand each other. Marriage is for better for worse, and dont be suprised if she finally tells u shes not interested in the relationship.
2007-11-18 19:29:49 · answer #6 · answered by remitte 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, I married a year or so ago, same problem. About the sex, You need to TELL HER DIRECTLY or you know darn well if yo ubumb into a xgirlfriend something is going to go down. (trust me).
Just say it man, tell her, better to do that and not and sh*t gets worst. GL
*also I found..though it sucks, play mind games, like you not interested in her for sex, or whatever..the same crap you did when you first started dating with her and others. It sucks man, but I think you gotta do it for a yea or too. Dont let her get to "whatever" with you.
2007-11-19 16:34:20 · answer #7 · answered by yamon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her if she will go to counseling, and if not I think you should see one yourself (a woman). A lot of times women will stop talking cause their hurt inside, hiding something, all depends. Please check the source below, that might help you. Take care
2007-11-18 19:29:21 · answer #8 · answered by mswords4u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she wants to be in control .tell her what u have told us and maybe things will be better i wish u the best
2007-11-18 19:19:27 · answer #9 · answered by Psychologist In The House 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop stressing issues with her...chill out...be friends do things she likes to do for a while cater to her go to counceling
2007-11-18 19:17:16 · answer #10 · answered by ღOMGღ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋