A child is not like a cloth you can lend someone. Even if you give your kids for adaption, the fact remain that's your child. I have a true friend who has been there for me as I have been there for him. just like a loving brother. When he go married, I was there as best man etc.I do greatly respect him and his wife soo much. Recently he found that he is not productive to pregnant a woman. His wife don't want to adapt, neither accept sperm donors etc and they talked it over with her husband and agreed to have me give my friend a fatherhood gift. To be sleeping with is wife to get her pregnant but I will never claim that child to be mine. He send me paper to sign and has pleaded with me to help him out. They do love each other soo much and married for 15years. I have told him I can't do it but he is putting much presure on me, begging, pleading etc, they wife is ready for it. What can I do? The wife wants a copy right of my kids. She loves my kids and wish that they were hers.
2007-11-18 17:42:55 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We talked in great detail about the deal, I know he never let me down when i need help. Now this is a big load on me yet at home I live with my ex under one roof. I have another woman living with us who may be moving out by the end of next month. My friend wife is a great friend to my ex wife and they get along very well. She know my characters, am a homely type. I don't drink, nor smoke, I mind my own business always, you either find me at work, out in the field, at the libruary, at the park playing with my kid, home or at the gymn. So I asked her how would it feel to have me penetrate her knowing there won't be love between us? I try to think about it. i becomes confused, stressed out on what to do. She say she can't accept to sleep with any other man beside me because he only had one boyfriend in her life before she met my friend and I am the only one she trust. I don't see this happening. I can't believe this.
2007-11-18 17:55:34 · update #1
If you want to help out I would suggest offering to donate sperm for invitro but tell them you just can't give it to the her the natural way. Her hubby says he is fine with it now but after the fact you don't know how he'll react. As far as I am concerned they are asking too much of you. Also, the child would not be a 'carbon copy' of your other children because they would have different mothers. You obviously are not comfortable with it and should not do it. Could it be that they do not have insurance coverage or the money to pay for invitro? Regardless, it is not your responsibility and just because your best friend has helped you out does not obligate you to sleep with his wife and impregnate her. Offer to donate sperm and tell them that's all you can offer. Not to mention, if they do it the old fashioned way down the road they could come after you for support if their relationship doesn't last. Not sure where you live but in the US in most states you can not sign off your parental rights and responsibilities until the child is born so any papers signed in advance probably wouldn't protect you at all from being a legal parent with responsibilities for that child. If the hubby has second thoughts after she's pregnant he could split and leave you being responsible for child support etc.
2007-11-18 18:04:47 · answer #1 · answered by MISS H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO::: Don't do it::
He can go to a south American country where they have excellent , fertily food's and real vitaim's to help the man no matter how sterilte he is to have a healthy sperm count, then he can give his wife his own child, of their's but the only affect that he may have is of having one the first try more than one baby produced at a time as in TWIN' or Triplete's, i know this due to my own family .
2007-11-18 17:56:39 · answer #2 · answered by lytesdelite 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At the end of the day, you have to be able to respect yourself. If you've told your friend and his wife that you don't want to do this, and they still keep pressuring you, then they're really not being friends to you. They're being manipulative and trying to pressure you into doing something you don't want to do.
Gently point out to them that there are many children ALREADY in this world that need loving parents. If they want to be parents, there are LOTS of other options available to them, besides you sleeping with your friend's wife. The fact that the wife doesn't want to try those other options (adoption, fostering a child, an annoymous sperm donor and in-vitro fertilization) means that she doesn't really want a child that bad. It sounds to me like she just wants to sleep with you.
You've already told them no. If you haven't, tell them no NOW. If they don't respect your wishes, I wouldn't continue to associate with them.
Best wishes to you.
2007-11-18 17:56:17 · answer #3 · answered by kyeri y 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think sleeping with the wife would seriously cross the line. It would be much better for the health of your relationship if you gave her a cup of your sperm instead. I think it's a reasonable request, given the closeness of your friendship. However, if you sign away all parental rights, in the future there will be nothing you can do.
2007-11-18 17:48:20 · answer #4 · answered by Jody 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is wonderful that your friend and his wife think you are the best person for the job but do you really need to sleep with his wife? Don't you think that will change your friendship with him and as well as with her? You, your friend, and his wife need to sit down with a fertility specialist and choose a method. There's no reason why you cannot donate your sperm to her. Do not sleep with her. It's not the right thing to do. There are options.
2007-11-18 17:54:41 · answer #5 · answered by jognmiles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ABSOLUTELY DO NOT sleep with her. i understand how badly you want to do this for two people you love, but say you'll only do it if you donate the sperm and she gets artificially inseminated. there are so many problems that can crop up from this situation...you say you'll never claim the kid is yours, but as someone else said, what if you disagree with a decision or the way they raise it? your thoughts might change. if you feel like you can deal with that, that's great, but sleeping with your friend's wife, even if he suggested it(he can change his mind about how he feels about it later too), just opens a whole nother can.
2007-11-18 18:02:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not a good idea. Tell her to go to a sperm bank. You may end up losing your friend in addition to one of your children. Losing your child, you may regret later.
What happens if you don't like the way they are raising your child, or if they end up accidentally having one of their own, and treat yours differently?
2007-11-18 17:48:00 · answer #7 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not do it,,do not sleep with his wife..if you want to do it go to a DR. and have it done buy you giving a sample of your stuff!!!! but do NOT sleep with his wife..
Papers or not you will be liable
2007-11-18 17:48:46 · answer #8 · answered by crasher 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is your choice, but don't lead them on about it if you don't want to. You seem like you want to but you have to process the idea of giving up your own kid to them.
2007-11-18 17:56:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋