my friends mom just wrote this to me and i don't know what to do.help?

Question

okay yeah it's kinda long but, whoever reads this and helps me gets ten points:)

anyways,my friends mom just sent me this....

This is ("friends" names)mother....

I'm not exactly happy to see what you write to my daughter about. I understand that you have been going through some things, but given the names that you have called my daughter and the subjects that you like to write her about I'm going to make sure that Jasmine does not associate with you. I unsderstand typical teenager things, but you are brinking adulthood things and that is UNACCEPTABLE for my daughter. Jasmine is a nice person and a genuine friend. You have hurt her feelings repeatedly and she is always forgiving. How can you ask for encouragement in one breath and the next your basically saying your going to become sexually active soon?????? THAT definately makes your friendship with my daughter null and void. If you have ANYTHING furhter to say to my daughter, go through me...

i never said i'm gonna be sexually active soon!! and i said she was a bitc* once and apoligized!! she wasn't that forgiving...she's really mean to me...she always puts me down.she said she didn't wanna hang any more cuz i didn't love God as much as her... wtf should i do? since her moms involved i don't know...i can't believe she told her mom all these lies!!!! and i have to see her and her grandparents at church 2 times a week.... what should i say the next time i see her?

SoRrY tHiS iS sO lOnG

PLZ READ THIS TOO PPLS

actually, i don't care about that girl at all. i was just trying to be nice to her bcuz she was sooo desperate for friends....but, mainly since she's spreading rumors about me i just don't want to get in trouble for something i didn't even do......so therefore...What Should I Do So I Don't Get Into Trouble For Something That I Didn't Do?? i emailed her mom basically saying it's all a misunderstanding and i didn't tell her daughter those things but that i dont' want to be her daughters friend anyways... i just KNOW that Jasmine will tell her grandparents and they'll get tell my family and my family NEVER believes me....

Answer 1

Wow. Let me tell you this, it's not her mom ending this friendship, you are. Normally, parents side with their kids, always. Perfectly natural, right? But if your friend is indeed telling lies, forget it. Friendship dissolved. And getting her mom involved like this? It's kind of immature. She should have taken her own problem into her own hands and act like an adult. Consider her off your friends list. This may all sound harsh, but given what you've said, what you're doing is exactly what she did. Hope I helped. :)

Answer 2

I'm not sure what the mom is referring to when she says you hurt her daughter's feelings.

The letter is very vague from an outsider's point of view, but I will try to give you advice:

Parents, as loving, caring, and understanding as they can be, there are certain things they cannot get about generations younger than them.

The mom is obviously very protective over her daughter and is fearful that she will go down the wrong path if associated with the "wrong" friends.

To the mom, you are currently regarded as that wrong friend.

There is not much you can do in the situation. I would suggest one option:

Stop sending your friend letters and limit your communication to other sources such as: phone, e-mail, and in-person.
Then you should write a letter back to the mom apologizing for the things you said (not sure what you said in the letters). Explain to the mom that you care about her daughter and that you would never try to purposely hurt her or anybody else for that matter. Explain to her that you are a good person and that you have been going through a rough time recently and only wrote those things in the letter because you didn't know who else to confide to. Explain to the mother that since she does not like it, you will stop writing letters to her daughter.

Then you have to go tell your friend about the situation and see what she suggests. Your friend knows the real deal since her mom probably already had a conversation with her about it.

Your friend can give you better suggestions on what to do in regards to handling her mom.

Good luck.

Answer 3

errrr.... tough. I would talk to the mom. Did you know that Jasmine was feeling this way? If not, then you could tell
"mom" that you did not know and are sorry. If you did, I would give an apology, and maybe start limiting what you write to her. If you truly are being "unacceptable," perhaps it's better that you find some new friends or maybe try to understand Jasmine's side of the story, and where the ethics and morals are coming from... perhaps you could clean up a little. everyone likes a "clean" person (except dirty people, but isn't that always the way??)
Hope it helps :P

Answer 4

Write her mom back. Tell her that you did not insinuate that you were about to be sexually active. Tell her that yes, you have had problems with her daughter in the past, but her daughter has already apologized to you, so all was forgiven, or so you thought. Tell her that you will avoid her daughter in the future, and ask that her daughter do the same for you.

You don't need a friend like that. Those type friends are the ones that start nasty rumors. Just avoid her.

Answer 5

man...**** that ho! I'm sorry, stuff like that just pisses me off. I hate it when parents get involved and think that by stepping in they're going to make a situation better. This woman is just criticizing you and the reason she wrote it is because she thinks that you're threatening the "PerFECT" lifestyle that she's modeled for her daughter. What she doesn't know is that her daughter is a decieving ****. Friends will talk about whatever they want because they're friends...and the most important rule of friendship is to respect each other. Yeah you call each other names...some people are friends like that. It's not unnatural. Seriously, I would just talk with your so called buddy and lay the guilt trip on her and tell her that you don't appreciate her divulging things like that with her friggin mom. Some things are just between the two of you. And if she can't respect that, get new friends chick cuz seriously that family sounds messed up. Good luck

Answer 6

I think your friends mom thinks that she is doing the right thing to protect her daughter. However, what she has done is apparently read some very personal things that you have written to your friend which has probably embarrassed you more than anything else. Just apologize to your friend if you really think that you have offended her, as her mother states, and if I were you I would have very little to say to her mom. I would just go on with my life, you WILL get past this! If you and your friend are truly meant to remain friends then after this situation blows over you will be again, but for now, just chill and let the emotions and shock of her mom die down. You will get through this...just give it a little time! good luck. And yo...try to hold out a little longer on that other thing!;))))
If I had a friend whom I knew lied on me...they would no longer be my friend.

Answer 7

Well I have seen from your description, church, foul language, belittling a girl, and sexual references that the parent "made" up.

Sounds like her morals are higher than yours, so she confided in her mother. You maybe have to consider your approach on all this. Your wording is wrong and inappropriate. You have to ask yourself, reverse the situation. You bet if you talked to my daughter that way, your done......no questions.

If your really sincere with all this your going to have to talk to her mother and your friend. Understand regaining the mother's trust will be lengthy. You have to really watch how at your age your conducting yourself, and really what are your expectations?

Again sounds like hers are higher than yours, nothing wrong with that. But you need to be very honest, sincere and straight forward. STOP the games, the wtf, you have to look at just what did you really say, and now you have to eat crow. Make things right by YOUR actions and TRUE feelings. Again the games and DRAMA need to go. You have to rebuild things with her parents and your friend, if you don't want to take the time or really be true to her, then move on.

Perhaps your writing about things she is not ready to do and needs some help, maybe your pushing the issue, slow down.
If this is someone your toying with, hurting her feelings all the time, maybe it's time you take a step in another direction, you gotta grow up and be a real person.

If your going to continue this relationship sounds like you need to do some serious talking, with everybody....good luck

Answer 8

Do you really have to be "friends" with this girl?!
You can just be acquaintances...nod & smile at each other & keep it cool.
Look, she obviously has a Mum who cares & protects her like a lioness...which is a good thing. If you're sure that she is lying to her Mum...surely you don't want a liar for a friend?!
Let it go, honey, theres more to life than friends who lie...
What about your family...having a friend in your family is a great thing. You can confide & trust someone & this can grow into a great relationship that you can depend upon for the rest of your life. And sweetie, don't ever call another persona a "bit%$ch". It doesn't sound nice at all and its not in good taste. I understand that growing up can be hard but it doesn't have to be rude......
Take care now & grow up to be a sweet & wise woman that God intended you to be....
xx

Answer 9

Yeh she sounds a bit over protective, but then also i have to ask what have you done to her daughter, the mother is questioning you. You must have done something in the past for this mother not to trust you like this.

If you want to be friends with this girl you should actually talk to her mother and ask what is going on and why she feel sthis way.

If you do not care about htis girl at all and dont really care if you are friends with her or not, just delete the message.

Simple.

Answer 10

Wow. You must be in your early teenage years. Around 13 or 14. Look, she's very serious about her daughter and those who are influencing her decisions. If you want to talk/write to someone about your soon to be "sex" life, don't talk to her about it. I suggest, if you still want to be friends with Jasmine, that you apologize to both Jasmine and her mom. Tell them that this will never happen again. They'll forgive you. Just make sure you don't do it again.