In your heart: What would you do?

Question

I have one of the world's greatest dilemmas. There's this guy who I've liked for a few years now, and I wanna tell him how I feel but he's been in a relationship for atleast a year now. I want him to be happy. I think he's happy, so I dare not come in between that because I don't want to be a homewrecker. Unless I undoubtedly felt I could make him happier. I don't know, I'm not the world's most confident person. He's a really great guy, and for the first time I'm going for a guy who I can say I like for all the right reasons. I tried the whole moving on thing, and it's fine for all of one day and then he comes around and we have these meaningful conversations and laughs and I just wanna stay in that moment. We are close friends and he'll be graduating a semester sooner in a month and I won't get to see him next year. I may never see him again. For the last few weeks I was half alright with that because my way of thinking was that atleast I don't have to have this false hope that someday he'll be mine. He's so great and I tend to be picky but with him I'm 100% sure I wanna be with him and he is the right guy for me. I can truly see myself with him and I love the time we spend together in between classes. He's suportive, he makes it a first priority to come to my performances and he even helped me study for my spanish test. My heart does not feel pain because I want what's best for him and he and his girlfriend look really good together. Who am I to come in between that if he's truly happy is what I ask myself. At the same time, what if this is the guy for me and I choose to sit off to the side and allow myself to lose the best thing that could ever happen for me? Seriously, what would you do?

He's not married. He has a girlfriend.

Answer 1

If he was truly right for you- he would be with you, not with someone else. I feel for ya though. My husband was engaged to another woman before I came along. She cheated on him and I was the girl giving him advice to stay with her and work things out. Turns out, me just being there for him caused him to have a change of heart. That was 7 years ago.. and we've been married 5 now. I remember thinking the first day I met him- that if God gave me the chance- I would be the best gf/wife that he could possibly ask for. I NEVER made a move on him- but if you are meant to be together, love will find a way.

Answer 2

Whether he is happy or not you don't have the right to come between him and his girlfriend. Maybe your attraction to him is because he is now taken, you want what you can't have. If you two were meant to be together then you would be. Move on and find a nice single guy for yourself. If it's too hard for you to see him or talk to him because of these feelings then leave him alone. Think of it this way, put the shoe on the other foot and if you were in a relationship with a great guy and there was another girl that felt how you do, how would you feel?

Answer 3

I'd tell them to go on for my own good. It's ok to feel like that for him, but if you do try anything you are going to be a home wrecker, married or not. It might be a good thing that you won;t see him next year. My first year of college I had a lot of feelings like this for someone and she was dating some guy back home. I thought there were some possibilities, but after a while of starting to spend time with other groups, I realized she and I would have been a disaster. I know it seems hard now, but let him go and give yourself a little distance. If he and this girl don't work out for some reason, then you go in guns ablazing!! For now just give yourself the time and space to see how you really feel.

Answer 4

If you have a way to contact him I would, I would just tell him how I feel and see if he is really that happy in the relationship that he is in now, after you have talked to him and told him what was on your heart ( and don't leave nothing out) if he is not wanting to end the relationship that he is in now I would move on, but I'd try this first,,,,,,, when you see him say do you have a minute ? I'd like to talk to you about some thing that is on my heart and it is very important, that will get his attention very quick, good luck , I hope you the very best,!!!

Answer 5

Well, since you mentioned you are not gonna see him next year ask him how he feels about that, I mean if you guys are good friends, he should answer. Ask him kinda jokingly but serious. And see where that takes you, you never know how he feels about you either and try to find out without ruining your friendship it is better to keep him as a good friend than nothing at all.

Answer 6

I think you should tell him.
Just because you tell him that you feel this way does not mean that it would break that relationship up because he may not feel the same about you and would stay with his girlfriend.
He may feel the same way about you and just thought he was just one of those guys that was just a friend.

Answer 7

if you steal him away from a happy situation he will--
A. not trust you because if you don't respect his current relationship you probably won't respect a new one.
B. dump you for somebody else he meets along the way that might make him "happier"
C. resent you when it does fall apart between you (it almost certainly will) because you are the cause of his pain.

Answer 8

Honey do you really want a man that would leave another for you? I would not. You say he seems happy with her so leave him alone. You will not see him after school so it will not be so hard for you. Keep yourself busy and you will soon get over him.

Answer 9

He already has someone. I'm sure if he wasn't happy he would have mentioned it. Think of how you would feel if another women moved in on your man.

Answer 10

Bide your time. He's in the middle of something right now. Next time you meet, it might be you involved. If he is the one for you, there will be another meeting and it will be right for both of you