is it OK to not let the father spend time with the kids?

Question

mothers are usually the ones who get to spend the time with their kids, I understand that. but for a wife to say to the husband, "we (the wife and the kid) are going for a walk without you because you don't do what I say," it seems a little extreme, perhaps somewhat illegal. and of course this was not an isolated case of this kind. I believe the parents should be able to discuss the real matter without using the kids.

but when the wife keeps using the kids to defend her self in one way or another, is there any legal action the father can take? is this considered some kind of parental alienation?

Answer 1

I don't know about the legal aspects of this nor do I know the age of the child but, as far as I can gather, it is most definitely "Parental Alienation".

My family is in the middle of this same type of situation and the children involved are college students.

The wife in this situation has made false accusations about the father, claiming he is addicted to porn (among other things), he swears he is not and I, believe him. He says, yes he has looked at porn before but, he doesn't do it a lot or often. (Knowing he only stayed with someone because of his children and had no desire for his wife, I can understand why he chose to view it from time to time.) She tells the kids, he had nothing to do with raising them, etc., and that he must not love them because he does not do or say things that she thinks he should be doing or saying. (Controlling personality at play here but, she thinks she's perfect.)

He has been unhappy with his wife for an extremely long time and has had no love for her for the same amount of time. He has stayed all this time because of his children.

The unfortunate part of it all is, he met someone else before he split from his wife. He knows he was wrong and handled it improperly, however, that does not take away from the fact that she is slandering him, not only to his children but, to friends and neighbors.

You can not make her understand that the situation is between the wife and the husband, not the wife, the kids and the husband. She has told them many a thing that you should never tell your children, no matter what age.

Anyway, I digress, I believe you should speak to lawyer and find out what your options are. You can possiby charge her with slander, if in fact that is what she is doing.

You most certainly should go after shared custody and court ordered visitation. Children of all ages deserve both parents, regardless of what one parent or another thinks.

From what I have been learning, "Parental Alienation" the person doing the alienation is the one with the psychological problems, not the victim of the alienation.

Please search the web and you will learn more about it, look under "Parental Alienation Syndrome". There are also books available.

I think this issue also has to do with someone that has control issues and they think they have to control the other parent through the children. The only ones really hurt by this ultimately, are the children.

People that do this need to GROW UP.

You can't make someone love you and the sooner an ex-anything learns that, the better it is for everyone.

Good luck and God Bless!

Answer 2

The couple needs to talk with each other in private about this kind of situation. The husband may have to seek the advice of a marriage counselor -- go alone if nothing else -- to get the best angle on how to approach the situation.
On the surface, no it doesn't seem fair or right. It almost sounds like this woman is talking to her husband as if he were a child too: "because you don't do what I say."
No one should hide behind children for their own ego concerning arguments. Children need to be protected, not used as pawns.

Answer 3

this could be a no longer ordinary difficulty. i'd say do no longer deny the youngsters from seeing their father for the reason which will punish the youngsters. They should have him inspite of his being a sorry provider. the subsequent step would be to take him to courtroom for new child help. i'd document in the present day. it is not a call, that's a impressive to those little ones. He has household initiatives and he needs to be held to blame for them. do no longer submit along with his shenanigans. do no longer enable him to be a ineffective beat in some time. supply him a harsh dos of fact and document on him. Have that truck repossessed or towed on your place. Hell, it is on your call and you have each and every good because of the fact that he's no longer making the money. Your unfavorable credit rankings will effect your little ones too. i'd enable that sucker sit down in the previous i'd enable his sorry frontin *** journey around it without making money and or no longer it is in my call. Legally there's no longer something he would desire to do the two. seem out for you and those little ones lady. good good fortune too ya!

Answer 4

Sometimes children are better off without being around the father. If the relationship between the father and mother is awkward and uncomfortable for all involved, then dad should be the bigger man and remove himself from the picture.

Answer 5

Unfortunately the kids are the excuse and shouldn't be. Talk to the courts, they give good advice, also the Attorney General. The kids shouldn't NEVER be used like that.

Answer 6

its wrong whatever shield or excuse she;s using, but to involve the child in it as well is just about despicable. She should be willing to sit down and reasonably work something out if she has a problem.

Answer 7

Not really but every judge and every lawyer and every social worker see's what they want. If you split good luck. The kids will go to who has the best lawyer.

Answer 8

NO. Kids do better if there is a good relationship with BOTH parents.

Answer 9

sounds like she's controlling sue for divorce it will give her a wake up call if not go though with and get custady