is this wrong?

Question

I am 18 almost 19 and I am dating a Russian man he is 27 years old and I knew hima nd was really good friends with him before we started dating and we have been talking about marriage but my sister keeps saying its not a good idea because of the age difference she thinks its too much wdyt

weve been dating 1 year and 2 months and he has been in the US for 9 years

Answer 1

age is not a problem, people divorce even if they are of same age, go ahead if you truly know what love is, if he really loves you than married him, you have my support!!

Answer 2

your too young to get married. In this day and age, people do not get married so young for a reason. DIVORCE!

listen, I am 22 years old, and I've changed SOO much from the time I was 19. I am not the same person as I was when I was 19 at all. I've grown, I've matured, I'm wiser. I had a boyfriend at that age who I dated for 2 years. From 17-19, and I wanted to marry the guy. We ended up breaking up and when I look back, it was such a great thing. I talk to him every 6 months or so, just to say hi and see how each other are (we are on friendly terms) and I swear, both of our lives have gone in such different directions. Just talking to him, it is different. He has grown into someone different than who I am now. I could never click with him the way I did when i was younger.

So anyway, if you want to marry this man, it is obviously up to you but try to remember that 19 isnt very old at all, and you will probably change so much in the next few years and hopefully you will change in a way that is fitting to your husband.

Answer 3

My Dad is freakin over 10 years older than my Mum! Who cares?!

They still love each other and my Dads over 60 so if you really love him, marry him! Just remember that marriage is called marriage because its a commitment for life. Get married expecting to live with this guy FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

Your sister might be jealous or she could just be concerned. Tell her you appreciate it but tell her age just isn't an issue for you. Although... She might be hiding something she knows about him from you for fear of hurting you. Pressure her about this, she won't give in easily if she does know something but keep at it. If she's jealous or just caring, she probably won't tell dirty little secrets either way so be careful.

I also think you are too young. Studies have shown that personalities are never really cemented until your mid 20s so take your time. This is serious. I'd wait until I was out of University and then consider it. Amazing and unexpected things can happen if you wait. Imagine finding another guy who is absolutely perfect for you (if you are in love this will be impossible right now I know) after you are married. The regret would be unbearable.
Even thinking about it makes me depressed.

I'll pray for you
God Bless you and I hope you do the right thing in the end.

Answer 4

Age is one consideration - culture is another one - timeline is a third. How long have you known one another? How long has he been in this country? Talking about marriage isn't the same thing as getting engaged and marrying. I'd encourage you both to seek out premarital preparation. These subjects and others would be covered in such a setting. They won't give you answers or tell you want to do. What will happen is that you'll be in a safe and comfortable setting where questions will be raised that will help you both communicate your thoughts about ... finances (who pays for what), roles in the marriage (who does which chores), family planning (who takes responsibility for contraception / want children? how many? when?), conflict management (how do you each handle conflict), communication styles (comfortable expressing feelings? in-your-face? good listener? etc), religious beliefs (have any? committed/involved/not important?) personality type (introvert? extrovert? feeling person? thinking person? time conscious? organized? etc). Not sure where to get this kind of marriage prep (you don't have to be engaged to get into this), check out a local church - they usually offer weekend courses. They're great opportunities for the two of you to 'talk' and see if marriage is really for you - now. Good luck! ;-)

Answer 5

The age difference is no issue if you love him. However, getting married at 19 is usually not a good idea. Even if you are very mature, it might be best to have been through more relationships to know what makes sense for you. Give it some time if you can. You'll feel more confident and not feel the need to ask for others' opinions.

Answer 6

The age gap is not the issue here since you two seems blends okay. However, you are too young to marry. Your feelings, views in life might change by the age of 23-25. Anyway you are still young & why not give it another 5 years? Try to divert the feelings to your schooling, work, friends, or any other things that might consume your time. Take it easy..

Answer 7

You know this could be my question...except that I did marry the guy and almost 20 years later...the one thing I truly realize more and more is that I was EXTREMELY young. However, you don't feel that or think that at the time. He on the other hand is totally ready to settle down and move into the house, bills, kids, responsibility...but you my friend unless your life has been hell and you are ready to move from one parent to another go right ahead. Because that is exactly what you would be doing. He will eternally watch over you and your life will be his. Are you ready to not be you anymore? Are you ready to wash his underwear and cook his meals, are you ready to make his bed and put away his clothes are you ready to buy all of his toiletries and meet his family and like his family...are you ready to hear how you don't do this and need to learn to do that and ....it is endless....because you really really need to be ready to do all that and then some....So, are you ready? Maybe what your really ready for is to just be YOU!!!!! Take some time to figure out who you are without your parents/siblings or family...

Answer 8

Well, if your family is not comfortable in the idea that you're dating an older guy, talk to them, especially if you really love him and you see your future with him. Dating an older man is not wrong, but you have to keep in mind that due to your age difference, arguments may arise or there would be a point that you won't share the same ideas.

Answer 9

If you need to ask an opinion, I think you should wait before getting married. Go through college. Get a job. Get your life started before you make the mistake of marrying young. If he proposes to you tell him you think you should wait.

I was dating someone older who proposed to me when I was 14. We ended up breaking up. I have changed so much since then, you wouldn't think I was the same person.

Don't rush into marriage. It's not the age difference. It's your age. He should know you're too young.

Answer 10

Age is just a number. But honestly as much as you may love him now, I think that you are way to young to get married. What you feel and how you are now will be totally different in 10 yrs.

Answer 11

No, that is not that much of a difference. But do think about it before you do.You haven't really lived life yet. Later on when you have a kid or two and maybe he's gone, it will be to late then. Good Luck!!